Weddingbee Blog

Hello, there, Hive. Sorry I disappeared for the weekend. I swear it was for a really good reason.

If by good reason, I mean I hit my wedding wall. How did I hit my wedding wall?

Miss Seahorse, post-meeting with Wedding Wall

It may have had something to do with the stupid wedding map I spent two hours trying to make and am still not happy with. What would make this happier? Someone suggest something, please.

What is a Wedding Map, you ask? Why can’t people just use Google maps, you say? Well, a Wedding Map, my friends, dear readers, patient, wonderful people, is a map that happens on paper. Oh my, the novelty. You can pick it up, touch it, turn it over, and you cannot change the route by dragging that little dot over to where you want it! Because this is a Wedding Map rather than a regular old Get-Where-You’re-Going map, the directions go where I want them to go, because I am the bride and these are the rules.

Please know that there was a whole lot of sarcasm up there.

The Wedding Map is a little map showing where our events are, and we include it in our lovely little packet of invitation, RSVP card, and, uh, wedding map. Mostly, it is for older people who have no sense of where things are, or for guests who are simply not interested enough to Google where the post-wedding farm-hangout is.

The Wedding Map is the first and possibly only thing that has made me hate wedding planning. Seriously, guys, weddings are for losers who just want to be the center of attention and have an excuse to make POINTLESS ART PROJECTS. LIKE WEDDING MAPS.*

Ugh.

Okay, let’s back this up a bit. Remember up there when I mentioned post-wedding farm-hangout? Let’s talk about that.

What, you ask, is a post-wedding farm-hangout? Well, dear readers, a post-wedding farm-hangout happens when two beautiful, wonderful people get married to each other in the morning, eat, dance, and have a fabulous time with their loved ones, go back to their hotel and rest and giggle over the fact that they are married, and then go to a farm. At that farm, they hang out, and in-town guests and out-of-town guests who want to see the newly married couple and spend some time with them in non-fancy clothes come and hang out at the farm and play mini golf and play in bumper boats. There’s even ice cream!

This is one part of our wedding that I am really, really looking forward to. Here’s why: a lot of people are getting up early in the morning (um, sorry if you didn’t know this yet and you plan to come: we’re getting married at 10AM. woo hoo!) to see us get hitched, and then we’ll all hang out and be married and be merry and I’m sure it will be wonderful and loving and amazing and also chaotic. I am expecting to remember little about this event. But afterwards, I really, really want to see all the people who came to see us and who came to support us, and this low key, delicious, fun place seems like the place to do it.

creepy smile + two thumbs up for wedding weekend fun

And then the next day, we are having a potluck! And call us crazy, but the potluck is going to be at our house. It may be messy and it will probably be full of wedding paraphernalia. I fully expect a few people to be staying with us, so I do not expect to be tidy. Fancee, you probably should have stopped reading a couple of paragraphs ago. Take a deep breath and close this window. What I hope is for our house to be filled with people we love, and to have the opportunity to spend some time with them in a meaningful way. And if they traveled from across the country and are bringing beer from the wine and beer store down the street… well, I finally love beer.

our awesome yard, ready for a September potluck

It may not be a “destination wedding” but it is, I hope, going to be a weekend of love and family and friends and fun. And telling you all of this has made my anxiety ball shrink a bit – so thanks for reading.

Have you hit a wedding wall? What pushed you over the edge? Has anyone else had the experience of “planning our wedding was so fun until X happened”? And then you just wanted to throw X across the room and call off the whole thing (besides the marriage part, of course)?

*I know this is not everyone’s experience, but this is my current frame of mind. Sorry, and I hope that your wedding map experience, if you have/had one, is/was far more enjoyable than mine.

P.S. I called a friend of mine who is skilled in pretty computer things, and he offered to make me a nice map. I sent him some samples, along with the awful map I made, and he said he’d have it done by noon on Sunday. The text I got just before 5PM said, “I fully understand your hatred of wedding maps now. I’ve done two versions I hate, and working on a third.” I haven’t heard from him since. I think I broke him.