Short v. Long and Dress Code Words

Short v. Long and Dress Code Words

June 10th, 2010 @ 1:43 pm by Mrs. Thimble
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With so much beautiful inspiration out there on the web and here on the ’Bee, my ideas for how I wanted to dress my girls has evolved over the months.

Thank goodness for inspiration boards! I had begun to feel like I’d lost all direction in the bridesmaids dress department— used to be very firm about wanting the dresses to be short to the knee, detaily {love pleats or bows or an interesting ruffle or neckline}, texturey fabric, possibly all different:

{I made this here}

But… I feel like I’m being pushed pulled and prodded in a more formal direction…

especially after scouting out some tuxes last weekend for the guys. So… does that have to mean long dresses for the girls? And would that be so terrible?

{I love this chiffon Jim Hjelm choice from KellyV’s wedding on the Weddingbee boards}

Of course, if I’m going long, I’m going to want some drama:

{a silky long almost ballgowny Watters and Watters number in a chic ambiguous neutral}

{or this PERFECTION of a chiffon dream by Vera Wang… too costly for my party—also posted with more photographic delish detail by Miss Scissors}

Question for the hive: does short dress mean no classic tux, just a dapper suit? Does classic tux mean gotta-have-a-long dress? Can we request “formal attire” and show off girlies in short dresses down the aisle or does that mean “cocktail attire?” I was loving this modern, anything-goes motto for a long while, but now it’s making my head spin as my brain hits up against the walls of traditional etiquette rules. {I secretly love traditional etiquette rules.} Did you (will you) play by the rules?

Tags: bridesmaid-dress, philadelphia |

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30 Responses to “Short v. Long and Dress Code Words”

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Bee

Miss Brooch (message) 1,715 posts, Bumble bee

I don’t think there are any rules here! You could follow the traditional path of going with a long dress if your guys are in a tux, but I think it would be really chic to have short dresses with the tux. It’s up to you! If you love the traditional way of doing things, I say go with the long. I’ve been really toying with the idea of short dresses. Our wedding is outdoors and at the very start of spring, soo. We will see! Good luck making your decision. Beautiful inspiration board, btw!

6/10/10 @ 1:52 pm (reply)

Member

bmore (message) 360 posts, Helper bee

We’re doing short dresses and tuxes - nothing wrong with it! I think both are covered under “black tie optional.”

6/10/10 @ 1:52 pm (reply)

Bee

Miss Lobster (message) 668 posts, Busy bee

I love that watters and watters dress. So cute. This is a long-time debate I’ve also had with myself. I think you can have tux with cocktail or short dresses. These days that’s how people interpret black tie optional. Hope this helps and I feel your pain!!

6/10/10 @ 1:55 pm (reply)

Member

MrsCatWoman (message) 65 posts, Worker bee

We are also doing short dresses and tuxes. I think we might say “black tie optional” for our dress code or just say nothing.

6/10/10 @ 1:56 pm (reply)

Member

Entangled (message) 2,616 posts, Sugar bee

I’ve been to multiple weddings with short bridesmaid dresses and groomsmen in tuxes and it always looked fine to me. So I say go for it. Though full disclosure, my fiance wants to wear a tux and I want to wear a short wedding gown, so clearly I am well into the tux/short dress camp.

6/10/10 @ 1:58 pm (reply)

Bee

Mrs. Hamster (message) 4,045 posts, Honey bee

Bah, no rules I say! Our wedding was “Black Tie Optional” because I thought that would be neat, and the bridesmaids wore long dresses, but people showed up tuxes or not, and most of our female guests wore short cocktail dresses. I don’t think it matters unless *you* care!

6/10/10 @ 2:02 pm (reply)

Member

mak418 (message) 693 posts, Busy bee

We’re doing tux with cocktail length dresses for the girls. In my head it’s a ’semi-formal’ wedding. It’s 5:30, so not technically ‘evening’ - and I figured in CT in July, short and chiffon were the way to go. And my FI wanted tuxes (I would have been fine with suits if he preferred.) I figure no one will call the etiquette police on us…

6/10/10 @ 2:03 pm (reply)

Member

something.blue (message) 255 posts, Helper bee

love your inspiration board!
we’re doing tuxes & short dresses. i wanted the girls to be able to wear them again so i went the jcrew route. that and im jcrew addict.

6/10/10 @ 2:06 pm (reply)

Member

jackie-o (message) 2,389 posts, Buzzing bee

YOU are the bride - Its YOUR day - YOU make the rules!!! Thats my take, haahaahaahaa There is just too much etiquette Q&A’s out there to receive a solid answer you’re (not you personally but in general) going to be psyched with. We, as brides, have a vision already pls don’t let the Miss Manners or Emily Posts steer you in a different direction

6/10/10 @ 2:12 pm (reply)

10.

Member

Miss Chicken (message) 365 posts, Helper bee

I never even thought about this hah…

Two of your yellow cocktail dresses were my inspiration photos So we have yellow cocktail dresses with pleats and some embellishment…and classy heels…the men will be rocking classic tuxes with bow ties…

I love me a dapper suit, but I couldn’t resist a tux…its just too darn cute/handsome/sexy/classy!

Maybe the fabric/accessories make them blend better? I’m going for an uber classic/vintagey look for my girls…and in my head that works hah

6/10/10 @ 2:17 pm (reply)

11.

Bee

Mrs. Spaniel (message) 6,792 posts, Bee Keeper

We had guys in tuxes and girls in tea length dresses. I don’t think anyone cared.

6/10/10 @ 2:24 pm (reply)

12.

Member

MissChirpie (message) 730 posts, Busy bee

We are doing guys in tan suits, ladies in long mink colored silk and chiffon jim hjelm dresses. I don’t think there are any wrong or right answers!

6/10/10 @ 2:27 pm (reply)

13.

Member

Miss Sweet Tea (message) 289 posts, Helper bee

I am doing formal tuxes with short dresses. I am having an outdoor evening wedding in July! Plus I just love the “fun” look of short dresses

6/10/10 @ 3:22 pm (reply)

14.

Member

tea (message) 7,263 posts, Bee Keeper

nope! you can do either. there’s no hard and fast rules here.

and even if there were, this would be a fun one to break!

6/10/10 @ 3:25 pm (reply)

15.

Member

MJTKNT (message) 27 posts, Newbee

I think you can do either. The one ‘rule’ that I like though is that if you’re going to be outside, go with a short dress. It’s a PITA to be a maid in a long flowy dress in an outdoor wedding/reception! That, and they really never will wear it again.

6/10/10 @ 3:33 pm (reply)

16.

Member

Knubbsy-Wubbsy (message) 2,395 posts, Buzzing bee

We’re going “semi-formal” or “formal optional” (haven’t decided the exact wording) but the guys will be in tuxes (he will be wearing tails because he wants to be like Fred Astaire) but I’ll probably be in a tea-length dress and probably the girls will be as well (its there decision)

6/10/10 @ 3:45 pm (reply)

17.

Member

sgarrison2 (message) 445 posts, Helper bee

I thought about this for a little while- then remembered it was our day and we can do what we want! We’re having the guys in tuxes (vests and normal ties), and the girls in knee length chiffon dresses.

6/10/10 @ 4:04 pm (reply)

18.

Member

jordynrose (message) 6,351 posts, Bee Keeper

I don’t think there are any rules. Do what makes you happy!

6/10/10 @ 4:13 pm (reply)

19.

Bee

Miss Seashell (message) 1,713 posts, Bumble bee

I think a shorter dress can be quite formal, so I’d say that a tux would work just fine!

6/10/10 @ 4:13 pm (reply)

20.

Member

LittlestBirds (message) 2,605 posts, Sugar bee

Our guys are in tuxes, we’re requesting formal attire, and the bridesmaids are in short dresses. On the website, I said “Attire will be formal. Suits and dresses of any length are appropriate. The bridesmaids will be wearing knee-length dresses.” Hopefully that will cut out a lot of confusion and stress for people. Basically I want the guys in ties, but I don’t care if the women want to wear short dresses, it is July after all.

6/10/10 @ 4:28 pm (reply)

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