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Mrs. Octopus, Boston, MA/Pittsburgh, PA Age and Occupation: 25, Grad Student Fiance's Age and Occupation: 26, Graphics Operator for TV News Engagement Date: May 6th, 2009 Wedding Date: September 2010 Venue: Heinz Chapel Ceremony, Museum Reception About Me: When my best friend dragged me to a toga party in our freshmen year of college, I was not expecting to meet my future husband; but seven years later, here we are. I'm a crazy-organized planner at heart, and I am a great lover of random trivia, books, chocolate, blogs, new and exciting adventures, mockumentary-style television, and anything heavily flavored with bright orange fake cheese powder. We're planning a festive and fun mini-destination wedding in the place where we met: fabulous Pittsburgh, PA! I can't wait to marry the man I love!
About Mrs. Octopus

The Nesting Impulse

June 14th, 2010 @ 5:22 pm by Mrs. Octopus

As I’ve mentioned before, Mr. Octo and I have moved around a bit in the past few years. Once we finished college in Pittsburgh, we moved to Las Vegas and lived together for the first time. After three years in Vegas, we moved to Boston, where we’ve lived for a year now. For the most part, we’ve really enjoyed this sort of semi-permanent lifestyle. He and I are both fairly adventurous people who like to see new places and try new things, and living on both coasts and making two cross-country road trips in the moving process has afforded us the opportunity to do just that. We’ve seen nearly the entire country in the past five years, and it was incredible, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

You know what else it means, though? We have an apartment full of ancient, mismatched, cheap furnishings that have been battered to hell and back. Frequent moves, as well as just prioritizing our money elsewhere, have meant that we haven’t been able to build up any kind of real “home”. We have lots of stuff with no decor scheme (at ALL) and no quality, all packed into a really small, really old Cambridge one-bedroom.

The Nesting Impulse :  wedding pittsburgh relationships Dsc0140

Please note that in this photo alone, we’ve got black, fake cherry, wicker, and white furniture. Unseen = the fake oak end table behind me.

This hasn’t really bothered me until recently.

When Bridesmaid Erica got married in April, we spent a lot of the downtime of her wedding weekend hanging out at the adorable house she and her husband recently bought and started working on in the DC suburbs, and Mr. Octo and I were surprised by the pangs of wistfulness we both felt when we left. Bridesmaid Erica has a front porch with a little table and chairs that you can sit on and see the neighborhood. Bridesmaid Erica has granite countertops and refinished floors. Bridesmaid Erica has a guest room and a little backyard and a cool light fixture from Pottery Barn and walls painted nice colors and a party/sports-watching room in the basement. We have a kitchen that I believe may in fact be smaller than a prison cell, bright pink and purple towels from my freshman year of undergrad, and bathroom furnishings that just never seem to get completely clean. Siiiiggghhh.

The Nesting Impulse :  wedding pittsburgh relationships Dsc014001

Wait, there IS a theme here! And it’s “none of the fake wood anywhere in the apartment is the same color”! I’m looking at you, horrible tiny cabinets.

The Nesting Impulse :  wedding pittsburgh relationships Dsc0139

The couch actually used to be pretty decent. When Mr. O hauled it out of his sister’s basement five years ago. At this point, the cushions are misshapen and it is slowly turning from beige to gray. I would gladly light this thing on fire.

I’ve been surprised in the past few years by how typically and predictably my biological clock seems to be unfolding. For the longest time, marriage was not on my radar in any way. People would ask me if Mr. Octo and I were thinking about getting married, and despite the fact that we’d already been together for years and lived together, my answer was an emphatic NO, we weren’t ready. Until, one day, we were ready, and jumped into our engagement with guns blazing. We’ve also happily lived in random apartments with a hodgepodge of stuff dredged from craigslist, garage sales, and relatives’ basements for years, until, one day, we were both struck by a whopper of a nesting impulse. Now, suddenly, Mr. O and I find ourselves craving a real home, full of permanent, pretty, adult-appropriate furniture. Currently, the idea of becoming parents makes us both think “YIIIIIIIKES NO THANKS!!!!!”, but at the rate we’re going, it seems fully possible that in a year or two, one or both of us will wake up with a sudden case of baby fever.

Sigh. First things first. We can’t scratch this nesting itch until after September, when the wedding isn’t claiming every spare dollar we have. Can’t. Wait. West Elm won’t know what hit it.

Anyone else feeling the urge to settle down and build up a home with their spouse-to-be?

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28 Responses to “The Nesting Impulse”

1 2 

1.
Miss Jellyfish
Bee
Miss Jellyfish (message)  1,450 posts, Bumble bee

Yes, I totally feel you on this. Every time one of my facebook friends posts about their new house, I get a pang of jealousy and stalk their house photos like no other. Maybe you can register for some of the furniture you want?

 
2.
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Member
crayfish (message)  4,844 posts, Honey bee

I SO FEEL THIS. If you’d believe it, our Brookline kitchen is even more non-functional. I think we have the same stove, too! Our microwave is on top of our fridge. Our next apartment MUST have a dishwasher and washer/dryer. Non negotiable.

 
3.
farmersdaughter
Member
farmersdaughter (message)  1,675 posts, Bumble bee

I think its pretty natural to start having the nesting instinct when you get married, even if you aren’t close to having kids yet. I definitely feel for you - we’ve done the moving around/collecting random cheap furniture thing too, and it doesn’t look like there is an end in sight (anytime soon.) We’ll get there eventually - and all the nice dishes and cookware on my wedding registry is at least a start!

 
4.
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Bee
Miss Knitting (message)  1,072 posts, Bumble bee

I love our apartment and it’s furnished pretty well, but I really really want to own a condo. I get so jealous when I hear about other people buying a home.

 
5.
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Member
MrsCatWoman (message)  65 posts, Worker bee

I am closing on my first ever condo tomorrow! I cant wait, and yet I know that I wont have any time to really decorate until after our wedding in October. I will have to try my best to hold off becuase I want to give condo decorating the attention it deserves!

 
6.
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Member
scournoyer418 (message)  138 posts, Blushing bee

The nesting impulse . . . so so so tough to resist!!!

 
7.
hyphensmith
Member
hyphensmith (message)  260 posts, Helper bee

OMG, I so identify with this! We are currently renting a house, but it is small and cramped and feels like its never clean (no matter how much I scrub) and I am miserable! My FH on the other hand, loves the house and our yard, doesn’t want to paint and doesn’t care about new furniture. We are thinking about a move to the east coast and he promises that we will start building our “grown up” home then. I made him promise that if we don’t move to the east coast that we could at least move out of the dungeon we live in now.

Did I mention that its full of spiders too? Horrid, simply horrid.

 
8.
Miss Cardigan
Bee
Miss Cardigan (message)  8,645 posts, Bee Keeper

Yes! I totally feel you on this one! In August we are getting a new place - a duplex with TWO bedrooms and a YARD and I CAN’T WAIT!

 
9.
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Member
frozensnowbunny (message)  26 posts, Newbee

I so feel this. My FH and I finally got sick of our mismatched stuff and bought grown-up furniture when we moved the last time, and put all the busted stuff in the den/man cave.

I love that our house looks like adults live there now, but I would love it even more if we owned the house!

 
10.
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Guest
Tamara

Maybe keep an eye on design sponge and apartment therapy… Some of the posts basically make me think, okay, yeah can’t afford that/don’t have the time/skills, but they also have some quick/cheap fixes, including easy changes to make furniture you already have cuter for the cost of new fabric or what not. But yeah, I’m in my mid-twenties and a cohesive, pretty apartment that I feel good about (aesthetically) is probably pretty far off. I feel you Octo!

 
11.
jduck84
Member
jduck84 (message)  1,529 posts, Bumble bee

Yes. Sigh. We have a nice apartment and comfortable but mis-matched furniture. With me in grad school and him being a full-time artist, it will be some years yet before we live in a “grown up” place.

 
12.
littlemissmango
Member
littlemissmango (message)  1,818 posts, Buzzing bee

LOL! Funny post, loved the labels, haha! SO and I are TOTALLY with you. We’re both into design and it bugs the heck out of us not being able to do what we’d like to with our rental. Can’t WAIT to have a “real” home to turn into something that’s truly “us,” and doesn’t look like a dorm room. BTW, we also have a couch that I’d gladly light on fire as well — haha!!

 
13.
dookie32
Member
dookie32 (message)  176 posts, Blushing bee

YES YES YES! This is totally how FH and I are too. Friday night we were over at another couple’s house and we were almost getting teary-eyed over their nice furniture and matching dishes. We want to feel like real adults- no more particle board furniture (no offense Ikea :)), no more sharing a laundry room, and no more eating off of TV trays. We always say that we are going to be the most indiscriminate home buyers ever- “it has a garbage disposal?! YES WE’LL TAKE IT!!!!”

 
14.
Entangled
Member
Entangled (message)  2,616 posts, Sugar bee

Your apartment looks like ours. We’ve moved an average of once a year since we’ve been together, and our furniture is mis-matched beat up IKEA junk that we keep thinking won’t survive another move.

I don’t know that I have a nesting impulse, but we did just spend a weekend with friends who have a really gorgeous, well-decorated apartment. I’m very envious, but at the same time I have no eye for design and he’s still a grad student. I’m hoping within a year or two we can upgrade to a dishwasher, but that might be at odds with my need to move back to a city.

 
15.
Bee Icon
Bee
Mrs. Guinea Pig (message)  1,377 posts, Bumble bee

Yes! Even though we own our house, somehow we were totally fine with the mismatched, hodgepodge furniture/decor we had. It wasn’t until two weeks ago when we went to IKEA for a desk when we had a sit down talk (in a fake living room in IKEA for goodness’ sake) and decided OMG we want a house that looks coordinated! And we planned it out right there. We can’t afford to change everything all at once, but we have a plan and we’re working towards it slowly :D I always get so jealous of people who have super put-together homes!

 
16.
Bee Icon
Bee
Miss Seashell (message)  1,713 posts, Bumble bee

I’ve been a nester for a while now. Once I got my first place out of college I went nuts! Too bad I have champagne taste on a beer budget.

 
17.
SandraMarie_1986
Member
SandraMarie_1986 (message)  1,363 posts, Bumble bee

I totally feel you! I want our own cozy place with a front porch and nice new furniture that looks great and comfy.

 
18.
Miss Elephant
Bee
Miss Elephant (message)  6,182 posts, Bee Keeper

Oh yes! We can’t wait until after the wedding when we can go house hunting!

 
19.
Bee Icon
Bee
Miss Lobster (message)  668 posts, Busy bee

We currently share 700 sq feet and that’s so not enough. I’m ready for us to upgrade into a “married” home! P.s. your dog is sooo cute.

 
20.
Bee Icon
Bee
Miss Octopus (message)  1,446 posts, Bumble bee

@Miss Jellyfish: I had that thought too, but Mom Octopus turned out to be quite old school about registry etiquette, and really didn’t want us to register for anything too huge.
@crayfish: Ugh, the cost of living is so much cheaper in Vegas, so our last place DID have a washer/dryer and a dishwasher–our current Cambridge place has neither. It has been TORTURE. Especially because Mr. Octo loves to cook–the preparation of one good meal destroys the entire kitchen.
@MrsCatWoman: Lucky, lucky you! Jealous!
@hyphensmith: We just spotted our first mouse this week. HORROR!!!!!!
@Tamara: Hehe, I just re-subscribed to those blogs after a year of not looking at them due to bitterness over the “pretty things I can’t afford” factor.
@jduck84: I feel ya. We plan on spending any wedding gifts we might receive on new furniture, but homeownership is still many years off.
@dookie32: Ha! I’m afraid that’s exactly how we’ll be, too. “A DIGITAL OVEN AND A DISHWASHER?! SOLD!”

 
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Mrs. Octopus
Mrs. Octopus

Mrs. Octopus, Boston, MA/Pittsburgh, PA Age and Occupation: 25, Grad Student Fiance's Age and Occupation: 26, Graphics Operator for TV News Engagement Date: May 6th, 2009 Wedding Date: September 2010 Venue: Heinz Chapel Ceremony, Museum Reception About Me: When my best friend dragged me to a toga party in our freshmen year of college, I was not expecting to meet my future husband; but seven years later, here we are. I'm a crazy-organized planner at heart, and I am a great lover of random trivia, books, chocolate, blogs, new and exciting adventures, mockumentary-style television, and anything heavily flavored with bright orange fake cheese powder. We're planning a festive and fun mini-destination wedding in the place where we met: fabulous Pittsburgh, PA! I can't wait to marry the man I love!

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