Weddingbee Blog

In our senior year of college, Mr. Octo and his two roommates (who are now both groomsmen) challenged each other to a Beard-Off, in order to determine who could grow the manliest and most luxurious beard in the shortest amount of time. This was a dumb contest for him to participate in, because his roommates were both far hairier than his baby face could ever be, and defeated him soundly. Ever since then, though, he’s taken a liking to experimenting with his facial hair, and he’s had a beard on and off for the past year or two. Since about February, the beard’s been on—until tonight!

We both agreed that he shouldn’t be bearded for the wedding, because it’s a fairly recent look for him, and he’d probably look more traditionally “himself” without one. Even though we’ve still got three months, he decided to shave it now, because he tans really easily. We worried that if he left the beard on for the summer, he could end up with a beard tan line come September, which would be hilarious, but tragic-looking.

Operation: Beard Removal progressed through a number of stages. Here’s Phase One:

Daffodil, who had previously been clamoring for me to pick her up so she could sit on the bed with me, was alarmed at what came next.

Feeling very pleased with how Phase 2 turned out…

Well, look at this stripey wonder! He deemed this look “The Tri-Force”.

Remember that time I told you my fiance is a ridiculous ham in front of a camera?

Mr. Octo’s inspiration for Phase 3 was cartoon villains of yore (by the way, if any bride out there is brave enough to take on “cartoon villains of yore” as a wedding theme, my fiance will probably marry you instead of me).

(Snidely from here)

Phase 4 was so ridiculous it took a few outtakes before he could muster up the strength to keep a straight face.

His version of a straight face, anyway. Phase 4’s official title is “The Hanging J”.

“OMG SRSLY PLEASE LET ME UP THERE HE’S FREAKING ME OUT”

Next, Phase 5, the “Hey Ladieeeeees!”

And we’re done! After four months of beard, his clean-shaven face looked so naked to me! Look at those green eyes, though. I guess I’ll marry him.

Yay! We’ll call that “checking something off the June to-do list” so I don’t feel guilty that I haven’t picked the groomsmen’s ties or brought the invitations to the printer yet.

By the way, this is some very raw Octopus you’re getting right here. Since I am still on the job market, aka unemployed, aka FUN!employed, my daily routine includes: not putting my contacts in, not putting any makeup on, not styling my hair, and wearing a constant rotation of yoga pants.

How’s your fiance keeping his facial hair for the wedding?