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Now that our proposal and the ring drama was out of the way, Mr. Socks and I had to figure out what kind of wedding we wanted!
We felt a bit pressured to have a more “traditional” wedding… you know, the wedding with the church and the priest and the banquet hall and such. It’s not that I have something against these kinds of weddings, but I know that it isn’t right for us.
Yes, us. Mr. Socks expressed early on in our wedding discussions that he wasn’t that thrilled by the prospect of having a “wedding” and would rather get married abroad. A destination wedding was not in the cards for me because it is very important to me that my grandparents attend my wedding, which they would not do if it was out of the country.
Mr. Socks wanted to get married at the Waterford Castle in Ireland. While it’s VERY pretty, it might be a waste of space for the small wedding we’d be sure to have if we went this far.
So when I asked him why he was so against a wedding here, he said something along the lines of, “well I just don’t want to get married in a church, and I don’t like those big ugly ballrooms, and it just doesn’t seem fun.”
I laughed, as my brain was full of wedding blogspiration that included none of the above.
“We can do whatever we want! It’s our wedding! Let’s get married at a vineyard, outside, without a priest, let’s just do what we want!” I told him.
He was amazed. ”We can do that?”
I still love that. Every time I would suggest something slightly off the wall, he would say, “We can do that?”
And then he got excited about wedding planning. While Mr. Socks isn’t getting on the blogs himself, he’ll gladly look over my shoulder at some of the ideas I like, and discuss his opinion with me. He’ll read my blog and tell me that he likes my ideas, so it feels good that he’s completely on board with our plans. I don’t feel like I’m “dragging” him to the altar and making all of the decisions regarding the day… he’s very much a part of it.
Please kill me if I am ever this person.
There will be more on how we are fighting off tradition later, but I just wanted to be upfront that this wedding is not just for me and not to satisfy some sort of NEED to be different… it’s honestly just what makes us who we are, and it’s what is making this wedding truly ours. And if this is what makes me and my groom happy and excited, how could keeping traditions in the past be a bad thing?
Are you standing by traditions or is a more unconventional wedding your style?
Oh, innocent grooms, so uncorrupted by wedding blogs and magazines. : ) Mr. Parfait had the same reaction to my suggestions!
That castle is dreamy. Balloon archways and priests are not.
I always say our wedding is “non-traditional traditional.” We’re both atheists, so our ceremony will be completely secular, and we’re having a smaller wedding (50 people). But I still wanted to have dancing and appetizers on sticks being passed around and the feeling of a larger wedding. So we’ll see how it goes.
I believe that the best weddings are the ones that are perfectly suited to the couple, which sounds like exactly what you’re doing. I love it! I think ours is a mix between tradition and doing our own thing.
Mr. Cardigan has had the same reaction to a lot of my suggestions! I’m glad you guys aren’t following tradition, because I definitely think the best weddings are the ones that are unique to the couple!!!
“You mean we don’t have to have a big stuffy stupid wedding?” Haha, I heart Mr Socks. Although, I have to admit that at the beginning I was sometimes the one giving you the sideways looks about your ideas. But I think it’s like you said, you have to remember that it’s OK, and sometimes great, to throw tradition out the window. I think your wedding is going to be beautiful. I’m so excited to see it! I think My Big Fat Cuban Wedding will probably be mighty different due to your influence on me!
I think brides are straying from tradition more and more and realizing it’s about the COUPLE not the norm. My husband was amazed by all the ideas I came up with for our wedding. I guess when your not in my wedding brain scouring ideas all day long, it does seem impressive what we come up with!
We’re sort of compromising on following tradition- But I’ve spent a LOT of energy defending my less traditional, anti-banquet hall ideas against “you don’t want that” comments from fam members 
It’ll all be worth it when the whole family comes together to celebrate a day that is very “us.” I’m so glad Mr. Socks is on board with you- it makes planning so much more fun!
@ Gilneas - Haha, I laughed when you said that priests are not dreamy because I’m marrying one! Well, he’s still in seminary till right before the wedding, but he’ll be a priest soon after. I’m just hoping no one will call me Mrs. Father …
Our problem is fighting off the massive amounts of ordained people we know that want to participate in our wedding! We’re doing a lot of traditional things because they are important to us (ceremony in a church, buffet dinner, dancing, bouquet toss, etc.), but we’re also making sure that we are tuned in to what WE want, and not what other people are trying to make us do. We don’t want a fancy cake or crazy music (like the chicken dance) or a send-off in a white limo. I guess it’s about what the couple will enjoy doing, and what they want to remember together. And about fending off the well-meaning relatives and Mom-zillas!
Me & my fiance are actually taking a trip to Ireland in Oct. That was where he was supposed to propose to me but he couldn’t wait. Now that I’m full force planning I’ve thought about just eloping and getting married there. It’s definately beautiful! But deep down I want all my family to be there with me so I’m sticking to the wedding here!
I love that! I love that you’re doing what you want, and that Mr. Socks is totally on board and involved. FI and I didn’t want to have a church wedding, and also didn’t necessarily want to have a religious ceremony. But when we told his mom this, and suggested that we were considering asking a friend or family member do our ceremony, she kind of flipped out. I sort of wish we had stuck our ground a little more, but we’re personalizing our church ceremony enough that I think we’ll still be happy with it.
Hooray! I am totally with you!
I don’t quite understand why people love those caketoppers. I love your caption!
Mr. Chick and I totally went through the same thing, except I’m the one to say “We can do that?”
We’ve been to both traditional and non-traditional weddings and my fiance has been very vocal about wanting something non-traditional. I agree with him, but he is WAY more opinionated about it. It seems really silly for us to do that stuff because it’s so clearly not us. What is us is throwing a couple day long relaxed celebration with a short, more formal few moments to commemorate why we’re bringing everyone together.
FH is more traditional than I am, but we recently had a “we can do that?” moment. I told him to brainstorm music for the ceremony. I had Ingrid Michaelson, the Beatles, Beach Boys, etc. He had classical music. He didn’t want words, I didn’t want classical music. So, I presented him with the instrumental versions of some of the songs I was thinking of. His reaction: “I didn’t know that was available”
Brillant - now I get quirky music and he gets no words, we’re all happy!
i totally understand what you mean! and i am totally excited about mr. socks interest in wedding planning
Oh my gosh! I was so excited to see the beginning of your post because, while not the same place, my fiance are getting married in a castle in Ireland! Ours will be a small ceremony, though, so we chose a smaller castle.
We’re both Irish, and we actually felt like a destination wedding would allow us to focus more on what’s important (that we’re getting married, and we want to spend the day with those closest to us, not random people we probably won’t be talking to in 5 years) as opposed to the details. I feel the same as you, in regards to wanting the grandparents to attend, but we only have two living between us, and one of them is from there and hasn’t been able to visit her remaining family in decades (in other words: she’s SO excited to be able to get back there), and the other is in good enough shape to travel, so… Castle wedding in Ireland, here we come!
I KNEW that was an Irish castle –on our honeymoon we visited Ashford Castle (from The Quiet Man) & Ross Castle in my mom’s hometown.
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Mrs. Socks, Southern NJ/Philadelphia, PA Age and Occupation: 23, Web Developer/Marketing Specialist Fiance's Age and Occupation: 26, Systems Engineer Engagement Date: September 7, 2009 Wedding Date: October 2010 Venue: Ladder 15 Restaurant About Me: I am originally from the Midwest, but I love being an East Coast transplant! Mr. Socks and I are foodies and winos to the core---give us a hunk of cheese, some charcuterie and a glass of wine and we could die happy. We have two mischievous Wire Fox Terriers with completely opposite personalities but with a shared love of uprooting anything in our garden. Our backyard garden includes everything from tomatoes and peppers to a fig tree, blueberries, blackberries and raspberries! I love cooking, indie music, and spending time in our wedding city of choice---Philly!
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