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I can’t believe I haven’t posted this LOL, yet:
The nootrishus and tasty Tacos decided on, well, tacos for the rehearsal dinner, generously hosted by FMIL and FFIL Taco. Named for our Mission District’s Mexican roots, we’ll be chowing down on the Hotel Whitcomb’s Mission dinner menu of tacos, guacamole, flan, and all the applicable sides.
After it became clear that a Friday the 13th wedding (seriously) would prevent a day-before rehearsal at our venue, I was relieved when the hotel said we could rehearse in one of their banquet rooms before dinner. Though initially against the idea of rehearsing anywhere other than our actual venue, I’ve since realized the many benefits of literally going through the motions and learning the where, what, who, how, and when of the ceremony. Once you know what to do, you just do it, wherever you may be. So, touché, everyone-who-tried-to-tell-me-otherwise. Extra relief points came from this being the Taco Ladies’ hotel for Friday night.
We headed to Etsy for paper invites, and decided on these from Itsy Bitsy Paper’s shop. I don’t know about you, but a set of well-designed flatware definitely primes me for some eatins.
One surprise as rehearsal dinner discussions came up: a number of our non-California family and friends said all the out-of-towners, not just bridal party, spouses, and immediate family, are traditionally invited to the rehearsal dinner. We were quickly against this idea, since the list would balloon from about 40 people to 80-something that way, making it a half-wedding of sorts. Not wanting to be overwhelmed or detract from Saturday’s main event, we resolved this issue with a “whoever wants to come” Sunday brunch. I’m assuming this is a regional difference, but throw your plans and experiences into the comments!
Who exactly are you inviting to your rehearsal dinner? How many people will be there?
I wouldn’t necessarily say it’s tradition, but I do think it’s becoming more and more common. We’re inviting just our parents, the wedding party and their spouses, and our officiant and organist. But my sister and her husband invited all of the above, plus all the out-of-town family members.
We just invited people who were helping out with our wedding, and our immediate families of course.
I think it’s great that you will be rehearsing elsewhere. I found that an hour for rehearse at the venue doesn’t really help you that much for the day of. I forgot everything once I started walking down the aisle. And at a friend’s wedding, they rehearsed so much that I didn’t even get that teary-eyed feeling of love when they seriously just went through the motions, and it even looked like they were counting steps to light the unity candle and whatnot.
I’ve also heard that it’s all the out of town guests - but for us that’s 2/3rds of the people invited - so we’ve skimmed ours down to just family and the wedding party and officiant. As is, that’s still almost 50 people if they all show - which is a lot out of an 80 member wedding.
We’ve invited our bridal party, immediate family, and all out of town guests, total of 45 people. We’re having a BBQ in my mom’s backyard, low key and casual.
I’ve heard of inviting OOT guests, but a LOT of our guests are OOT, so it just wouldn’t make sense!
We originally wanted it to be 35 people.. but it ballooned to 50 exactly because of my fiance’s mom’s requests… we are inviting the wedding party (and their significant others), parents, grandparents, my aunt and uncle, the ring bearer’s parents, flower girl’s parents, “day of coordinator” (a friend) and her husband, a reader and his husband, musicians (they are my fiance’s family) and then we have a few random people that needed to be added.
We are doing a “half” wedding rehearsal dinner since our guest list was only 100 people…
we are trying to figure this out right now. Since we are doing a destination wedding. EVERYONE except for one person will be from out of town. So going by the “invite out of towners” to the rehearsal dinner is just not an option. I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, but even if we invite just family, it will still be over 40 people! ughh, so not sure what to do about this yet.
Haha. I love your post title.
We are still trying to figure out that whole rehearsal dinner invite guest list. Right now, we have parents, grandparents, wedding party (and dates), and all of the Mr’s family (he has a small family).
I have heard that too, but I felt that because we were on a budget for our rehearsal dinner that I would not do that because it would have gotten to complicated to find a place in the budget that we were looking at. I think that it is entirely up to the family that is hosting the rehearsal dinner.
My future in-laws have been very generous in offering us to invite whoever we want to the rehearsal dinner, but I’m only inviting the wedding party and immediate family. The restaurant where we’re having the rehearsal dinner also has a great bar/lounge area, so we’ll tell our friends and other out of town guests to meet us in the bar after dinner.
Our wedding is a destination wedding (but it’s only 2 hours away from most of my family), so we’d have to invite pretty much everyone. Luckily, FFIL volunteered to pay for it and we’re not inviting everyone. Just the people who we deem cool and…my mom (hopefully she won’t get into any fist fights like my graduation). 
Our rehearsal dinner was around 60 people; we invited all of our OOT guests…but it definitely didn’t have to be that way. We just wanted to make sure that we got to spend as much time as possible with those who traveled from sometimes far distances to be with us!
Oh, that poor kitty cat. Our RD will be close family and the bridal party.
A more-inclusive Sunday brunch is a great idea! Everyone will be so relaxed by then. Those invites are awesome, btw!
We are going to have around 40 people at our rehersal dinner. That includes all of our bridal party, his sisters and brother and their spouses, and my out of town family (cousins). My family is out of town except for my parents and we have always been invited to their rehersal dinners. Granted all of my cousins are male so my uncle was paying for it. We worked it out so that my family can come to. Also I have no siblings so it works out even in the end.
We had about 25 people at our rehearsal dinner (bridal party and some out of town guests) and the # felt right
We had the same issue too- and ended up just doing immediate family and bridal party, with about 40 people.
FI and I wanted a traditional (read: SMALL) rehearsal dinner, but it was very important to my in-laws that we have an out-of-towners dinner. Add in the handful of locals who are close family and who would be insulted not to be included, and our rehearsal dinner invite list is about 120, when the wedding list is 175!
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Mrs. Taco, San Francisco Age and Occupation: 29, writer/editor Fiance's Age and Occupation: 37, editor Engagement Date: May 13, 2009 Wedding Date: August 2010 Venue: The Green Room at the War Memorial Veterans Building About Me: I like laughing and talking with good friends over good food and good drink, be it wine, cocktail, or brew. I write and edit things for fun and profit, but I rarely "write" these days without a keyboard and high-speed internets. Favorites include Mr. Taco, my Boston terrier, San Francisco, getting out of town, and the Roaring ’20s. I was kind-of planning a wedding since roughly 2006, when I discovered "Whose Wedding Is It Anyway?" on the WE channel. I ran and didn't look back with a theme I called "urban vintage," and it culminated in the most magical day a taco could ask for.
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