My Enemy

My Enemy

June 22nd, 2010 @ 1:04 pm by Mrs. Socks
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Meet my enemy:

My Enemy : wedding philadelphia registry Brownpa

The most heartbreaking thing about my enemy is that the love of my life is in love with my enemy:

My Enemy : wedding philadelphia registry Mikebro

Can you picture him saying “My Preeecioussss” right now? Oh, I can too.

His brown pans. Brown, plastic, scummy bowls with a convenient handle and spout. And they’re used every. day. (He eats soup every day for breakfast—weird, I know.)

I hate them. I despise them. They’re ugly and they have melted bits of food forever stuck in them. They’re disgusting and I have been trying to throw them away for over two years.

My Enemy : wedding philadelphia registry Brownpa01

OMG… the shame that I keep these in the house… the shame!

But any woman knows that some of the hardest things to throw away of a man’s are those things given to him by his mother.

Ohhh yes, that’s right. These unsanitary disgusting brown pans were aided and abetted by Mr. Socks’ mom. Not only were they given to him, but she has a collection of her very own at home.

I want to register for classy alternatives to the dreaded brown pans, but none are good enough: they HAVE to be plastic, they HAVE to have a handle, they HAVE to have a spout and they HAVE to be deep enough to hold a LOT of soup. Mr. Socks is reasonable about most things in his life, but when it comes to his brown pans, those requirements must be followed.

But once we’re married, those brown pans are no longer “his” are they? They’ll become “ours” and that means I should be able to toss them, right?

But how could I possibly take this happiness away from him?

My Enemy : wedding philadelphia registry Mikebro01

Doesn’t it look like he’s having a spiritual experience with this thing? And no, this for serious wasn’t posed. He slurps it like this.

If I tossed them, I’d have to face endless whining about how perfect they were and he’ll never find anything like them again. I’d love to find a brand, spanking new version of the brown pans to include in our registry so I can finally throw them away, but I haven’t found anything suitable. Everything I find, he shoots down.

Does your SO have something dear to him that you’re just itching to get rid of once you tie the knot? And more importantly, do you know where I could find him better brown pans? Ones that don’t make me question whether they’d pass a health inspector’s test?

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59 Responses to “My Enemy”

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Bee

Miss Cardigan (message) 8,645 posts, Bee Keeper

OMG those pans are hilarious!!!!! How do they work if they’re plastic? They don’t melt?

I vote that you “accidently” let the dogs get to them. My dogs could destroy those things in about 10 minutes, haha.

6/22/10 @ 1:18 pm (reply)

Guest

jomi

Ahahaha my dad is a superfan of those bowls! And my mother abhors them. If it makes you feel any better, they’ve been happily married for 26 years, despite the continued presence of the “enemy.”

6/22/10 @ 1:20 pm (reply)

Member

Miss Root (message) 1,014 posts, Bumble bee

Ew! Those things are H-I-D-E-O-U-S!!!

Can you just register for new pots and pans… sort of a “His and Hers” type of thing? Or maybe, you can compromise- you’ll get nice, new quality pots that will last you a lifetime of marriage and he can keep his one favorite, perfectly soup-sized pot?

(Just so you know, I totally understand. FI has some fugly stuff that he refuses to get rid of, such as a poofy, hunter-orange colored coat that is more suitable for the Arctic than the temperate Seattle winters….ohhh, compromise!)

6/22/10 @ 1:20 pm (reply)

Guest

Christine

Long link, but something like this maybe?

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=380040521723&rvr_id=&crlp=1_263602_263622&UA=WKI6&GUID=46d59f6c1280a0b58ab1a251fff2f657&itemid=380040521723&ff4=263602_263622

6/22/10 @ 1:25 pm (reply)

Bee

Mrs. Cheeseburger (message) 1,020 posts, Bumble bee

hahaha we have one of these at my parents house and my mom got us each one when we went to college - my brother uses his all the time!

6/22/10 @ 1:25 pm (reply)

Member

ALu731 (message) 35 posts, Newbee

Pampered Chef has them…maybe that is a Pampered Chef one I don’t know, can’t tell from the pictures…but if nothing else, maybe you could get some new ones so they don’t have melted bits of food! I don’t know if they have multiple sizes or not, but I do have one that even has a lid…it is microwaveable and I pretty much only use it to melt butter occassionally- not a big fan of the brown, but it does come in handy every once in awhile.

6/22/10 @ 1:26 pm (reply)

Member

serasvictoria (message) 630 posts, Busy bee

Eeeww, why would he want to cook soup in a plastic bowl? It tastes much better out of pottery bowls.

Luckily my FMIL was a pottery artist for most her life (made her living from it too), so we have the most beautiful sets of cups, bowls, plates, soap dispenser, teapots, whisks, mixing bowls, etc. I am in love with her work! Sadly she has arthritis now and can’t make pottery anymore. I would have loved a match set for the whole house, but I like our mismatched set too (when she moved she told us to take what we wanted from her leftover pottery, so it is two matching cups here, three bowls there.).

The one bowls are deep and have a round handles on the side of them. We use them for soup too!

Other than that, the hardest thing was getting the FI to throw ANYTHING away. Seriously…he still had his class notebooks from highschool. His reasoning was “I might need them someday”. Ugh, he did end up throwing them out though (after I scanned all the pages and made digital copies of them).

6/22/10 @ 1:27 pm (reply)

Member

Curlysue (message) 1,703 posts, Bumble bee

Oh god. No, sorry, he’d lose the battle. Does he not like a spoon though?! Find some big ceramic cups with handles that people use to eat chili in maybe? I’d have to tell him to use a bowl and spoon because they were going in the trash. My FI has an attachment to some of his boxer shorts—-they are so thin you can almost see through them. I got so tired of them, I bought him new ones and cut holes in the old ones—when they were clean of course! He acted like he was upset but he really wasn’t and now loves the new ones.

6/22/10 @ 1:28 pm (reply)

Bee

Mrs. Spaniel (message) 6,792 posts, Bee Keeper

Hot liquids like soups shouldn’t be. Served in plastic anyway-toxic! Throw them out for his health

6/22/10 @ 1:28 pm (reply)

10.

Member

ALu731 (message) 35 posts, Newbee

Just looked on the Pampered Chef site…if he MUST have pans like this…check out the large and small microcooker…they are black now and not too bad. http://www.pamperedchef.com/ordering/category_details.tpc?code=CW&id=8&parentCatId=8&parentId=

6/22/10 @ 1:31 pm (reply)

11.

Guest

Christine

I’m on a mission to find you something that is not plastic, but meets the other requirements…these lack a spout, but are very cute! http://www.surlatable.com/product/id/124069.do

6/22/10 @ 1:31 pm (reply)

12.

Member

completelyrandomsally (message) 618 posts, Busy bee

That’s hilarious. We use the pampered chef ones for steaming veggies in the microwave when we don’t want to get out our steamer. I think others have mentioned them above.

6/22/10 @ 1:37 pm (reply)

13.

Bee

Miss Pin Cushion (message) 1,012 posts, Bumble bee

So hilarious Miss Socks! While I’m sorry for your fight with these bowls, I can’t help but crack up over the post!

6/22/10 @ 1:38 pm (reply)

14.

Bee

Miss Socks (message) 1,323 posts, Bumble bee

@ALu731: OMG!! This MIGHT just work!!! I’m going to make sure he looks at these when I get home! Oooh I’m crossing my fingers on this one…it could be perfect!

And in his defense, he is a very gentlemanly eater at all other meals of the day…it’s just when he eats his breakfast…this is the only option out there! lol! He’s much better about letting most things go when they get old, but these brown pans are impossible to get him to let go of!

6/22/10 @ 1:38 pm (reply)

15.

Bee

Miss Knitting (message) 1,072 posts, Bumble bee

Those are hilarious! Wow.

6/22/10 @ 1:39 pm (reply)

16.

Member

jgoulart (message) 1,069 posts, Bumble bee

My enemy are the three bear, one of which is life sized, and six deer busts that are in my living room…. yeeaaa…

6/22/10 @ 1:42 pm (reply)

17.

Member

MJogan (message) 124 posts, Blushing bee

I just want to share one of the gems my father has repeated over the years (it’s from Defending the Caveman, the male one-man show in response to the Vagina Monologues):

~Once a man becomes married, the house belongs to the woman, except for the garage and the basement. And neither of those are part of the house.~

I think they can hide, quietly, in the cupboard. Little concessions will make you both happier in the long run. I, on the other hand, have to find a place in our apartment for a life-sized cardboard cutout of Steve Irwin, the Crocodile Hunter. . .

I think we all have “bachelor items” to “contend with. But I think we all have to remember that our stuff sometimes represents “us” and we don’t want a comment on our stuff to feel personal.

Good luck!

6/22/10 @ 1:50 pm (reply)

18.