Weddingbee Blog

Apparently we can’t have a wedding with 100-odd guests and have it still be intimate and cozy.

Apparently you aren’t meant to buy the dress before you officially get engaged. Oh, and the pre-fiance isn’t supposed to help you pick it out.

Apparently we can’t write our own personal vows because “flowery language doesn’t go down well,” and “people will get bored.”

Apparently we can’t have our wedding for under 10K in our neck of the woods without it looking cheap and bland. Also: “it is the best day of your life, it is worth spending everything you can.” So what if I don’t feel like it?

Apparently we’re only supposed to have three colours at most in our wedding palette. Oops.

Apparently I’m meant to nail down a certain “theme” for our wedding, otherwise it will look too haphazard and won’t have a cohesive “look”.

Apparently grooms aren’t supposed to care about the details. That’s meant to be the bride’s job.

Apparently I can’t have a picnic-food style reception because it isn’t fancy enough and people will go hungry. Oh, and if that picnic-food happens to be Mexican, then apparently that is just plain weird for an NZ wedding. (Oh the horror! what will people say!?)

Apparently it is better to stick with the traditional “to be on the safe side,” and anything alternative “may be taken the wrong way.” And mixing the traditional with the alternative? “Just not done, my dear!”

All of the above are things that I have been told I can’t do, either by certain wedding industry “rules” or by relatives. But I have seen enough amazing weddings on the web and in real life to know these “can’ts” could actually be “cans”. Plus, I’m pulling out the great big bride-stick and saying we can because I said so. This bride and groom can and will do what we think is best for our wedding and our future together.

We will invite those people who are special to us, and if that number of people grows big, then we will roll with it. The guests won’t be a number on the day. They will be our friends and family, and, to me, that’s a good way to have an intimate wedding: when everyone there is someone who you love and who loves you and your new husband back.

We already know about the dress story. That seemed to work for me!

Mr E and I have always planned on writing our own personal vows together. Heck, I don’t care if a few people are “bored”: I’m making promises to the man I will be with for the rest of my life! Therefore I want the words I say to be meaningful and relevant to us, and if our guests really care about us (which they do) then they aren’t going to judge our vows by some invisible measuring stick. Everyone has different thoughts about vows and my way isn’t someone else way and vice versa. That isn’t a bad thing.

We’re also not going into debt to pay for our wedding. Our marriage will be longer than our wedding day and we would rather invest more money in that.  I’m not at all saying people shouldn’t have these things in their weddings. I’m just saying people shouldn’t judge what a bride and groom decide to spend their money on, on either end of the spectrum. It is a personal choice.

Our “colour palette” has more than three colours in it because we like more than three colours, our theme is hard to pin down, Mr E cares about wedding details as well because it is his wedding day too, and our wedding is very much a mix of the traditional and the not-so-traditional, of our different cultures and backgrounds and of our personalities. We like it that way.

So there.

(Can you tell I just needed to vent? Thanks all for listening.)

Guests enjoying themselves at an awesome laid back picnic wedding featured by Elizabeth Anne Designs. Image by Nu Visions in Photography. See more pictures here.

What have you been told that you “can’t” do lately when it comes to your wedding?