Weddingbee Blog

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How many of you know when the U.S. Supreme court finally repealed the law that prevented Whites and Asians (and other races) from marrying? Mr. Hot Wings and I got our marriage license this week. We called one weekday morning, got an appointment for 3 hours later, went down, got the license, and were on our way home again a mere 30 minutes later.
The process was really no big deal for Mr. Hot Wings. He actually seemed a bit annoyed with the whole thing. While we were waiting, I asked him why he looked so annoyed. It’s a big deal, it’s a big day. He still didn’t care. I reminded him that it hasn’t always been legal for two people of our racial backgrounds to go through this process and that we ought to be happy about it. There are people who still don’t have this right bestowed to them. He doesn’t have to think about these things very regularly so it was a really good reminder for him.

Here are some other things I noticed about this process.

• Their website clearly states that the office will not give marriage licenses to same-sex couples. However, at no point does the form ask me for my gender or sex. The clerk did ask me for my drivers’ license and checked off all the information listed on the application. Does this mean that she’s the one that checks my gender to ensure that we’re not a same-sex couple? Can you say, “confused?”
• Both Mr. Hot Wings AND I signed a form indicating our understanding that we BOTH could change our names at that time if we wished. When I did name change research a while back, I had read that men who wanted to change their name at marriage had to go to court, see a judge, and plead their case. This may have changed? However, the clerk questioned ME but not Mr. Hot Wings when I indicated no name change (yup, I’m sticking with my birth name for now).

It bothers me that is it might be the clerk’s job to judge who is eligible for marriage. Recall that as recently as 2009, a Louisiana marriage clerk denied a marriage license to an interracial couple because he claims that he was looking out for their future children. Should I also note that my racial background also is not a required piece of information on the application? Because it isn’t.

I’m marrying my partner in just under 2 months. I can’t imagine living in the U.S. during a time when it was illegal for me to do so. Change happens, and the Hot Wings’ wedding is a sign that progress happens. I know there are many of you waiting for legal change in so many ways and in so many states. I’ve been thinking of all of you today!

[answer to my first question: 1967 with Loving v. Virginia]