Weddingbee Blog

I’m talking about alcohol here, people. We have decided to have what they call a “dry” wedding. No alcohol. Nada. Zip. I’m actually even a bit nervous to post this, as alcohol seems to be one of those things that stirs strong opinions up. But here I go. (Note: In NZ the legal age to buy alcohol is 18, not 21 so our age or the law is not a factor in the following discussion.)

We made this decision based on a number of different reasons which, when we weighed everything up, showed us that a “dry” wedding was really the best option for us. Now, Mr E and I definitely enjoy a drink now and then. A glass of red wine and a book is my idea of a nice way to relax, and Mr E is quite the cocktail connoisseur. Alcohol in our “normal” day to day lives has its place. But its place at our wedding? This comes with some problems.

Allow me to elaborate: First, there is the issue of our budget.

No matter which way we looked at it, fitting in alcohol would mean sacrificing other things that Mr E and I considered more important (like food). If, by some wrangling, we could find a way to afford the alcohol then it would be a stingy amount, to say the least. The area around Nelson where we will be having the wedding is prime wine country. If we were going to serve wine at our wedding then I would have my heart set on serving good local brands. But on our budget, we would be lucky if we could get “two buck chuck” which, of course, doesn’t even exist in NZ.

Plus, there are logistical issues: how it would be served, glassware hire, licensing, etc. Everything becomes more complicated when your venue literally comes with… nothing, except grass and pretty trees. Not fun stuff. Stuff that I want to avoid very much. Mr E saw me stressing about how we could make wine and beer happen at our wedding and said: “Don’t we have a system? If it causes this much trouble and stress then just cut it.” And it was that simple. Basically we had the choice of: serving very limited amounts of questionable wine and beer OR serving copious amounts of old fashioned sodas, punches, sweet tea, gourmet tea & coffee, etc. I want our wedding details to excite me. It is the latter option above that excites me, so that is what won people.

But before we set this decision in stone we wanted to take into account the preferences of our guests and how a “dry” wedding would be received by them. And after looking at our guest list we discovered that, actually, only one person on the entire thing would be remotely disappointed about the lack of alcohol. Our friends our age couldn’t care less (well, the majority of them), and the older guests are either teetotalling Baptists or Anglicans who enjoy their wine if it is there but if it isn’t they move on and have a nice cup of tea. If we had different people on our guest list the decision might well have been different. Some people might consider a dry wedding “weird” (and I have been told that by other brides), but they aren’t the people attending our wedding.

And one final reason for our decision—it is our way of taking a mini-stand against the attitude many (not all, but most) people our age have towards alcohol. Basically, “if you aren’t drunk then you aren’t having fun.” Well… Mr E and I disagree and I know we are not the only ones who feel this way. Binge drinking is a huge problem for our generation down under and it isn’t pretty or necessary. OK, I’m off my soap box now, I promise.

Our decision wouldn’t work for everyone, I know that. I admit, I wavered back and forth on the matter at first, but then I realised that the reason I was wavering was because I was worried about what others might think, or of people labeling us as ultra-conservative types (anyone who knows us knows that certainly is not true!). I didn’t want a decision we made to be controlled by “what other people might think”. Also, I’m certainly not advocating for all weddings to be alcohol-free. I’m just putting our decision out there and our reasons for it, so that others who might be in the same boat can figure out what is best for their situation as well.

Anyone else had tough decisions to make when it comes to serving alcohol at your wedding?

To convince you that our wedding’s drink selections won’t be boring, I leave you with a few images that have inspired me lately. Enjoy

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(look at those strawberries! omnomnomnom)