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Okay, so this is admittedly random, but it’s what I’ve been thinking about a lot lately, so all of you get to hear about it! I can not figure out who Mr. Knitting and I should sit with for dinner at the wedding. I realize at six months out this is maybe a bit early to be thinking about it, but here I am.
It basically comes down to I have issues with every possible configuration. Here they are:
1) Sitting with the wedding party. I suspect this would be the most fun for Mr. K and I, but I’m not really in love with splitting up couples. I realize it’s just for the duration of dinner and that certainly none of our wedding party would be upset about this, but I just think they might all have more fun if they could sit with their dates.
2) Sitting with our wedding party and their dates. That would basically be the longest head table ever, and probably not much fun for anyone.
3) Sitting with our families. Despite us being together for six years, our families, while friendly with each other, barely know each other. I think everyone would have a lot more fun with their own people.
Sitting with the families worked well for my sister’s wedding:
4) Sitting with our Best Man, Maid of Honour, and their dates. I like this option because it keeps our table size small, our friends still get to be with their dates, and we can still be with some of our favourite people. Unfortunately, Mr. K doesn’t have a best man, so that doesn’t really work.
5) Sweetheart table. I used to not like this option at all because it seemed a bit lonely. However, after seeing Mrs. Perfume’s sweetheart table I’ve re-evaluated to some extent, but it’s still not an option I’m in love with.
The lovely Perfumes:
Those are basically all the configurations I’ve come up with and I’m not super happy with any of them. I suspect in the long run this isn’t something that’s really going to matter at all and I’ll be laughing at myself in the future for how much time I’ve spent thinking about it. However, for now it’s something I think about a lot.
Who are you sitting with at your wedding dinner?
Well, we had a bit of a unique configuration (super long tables), but we sat with our families. Worked out fine since we were either busy eating, or dancing 
Hmm…what to do!? I think each decision is important so you ponder on it as much as you desire! I assume you are having a sit down dinner? I am not having a sit down dinner and my wedding is at 2pm so people should have had lunch before they come. We are doing cupcakes and punch so Mr. P and I will be mingling although I’m thinking of setting up a table for the wedding party and the groom and I in the event we need a chair.
The sweetheart setup does look a bit lonely (and cute all at the same time) and I love BIG weddings (just can’t afford one) with the whole party and B & G sitting together. Just my opinion!
We’re doing a sweetheart table because I know there will be little time we’ll actually be able to be together on our wedding day. Plus, we want our bridal party to sit with their spouses/dates.
We are doing a sweetheart because of all of your cons of doing a head table. I also think it will be nice to have a little bit of time together during dinner. We probably will be circulating a lot during dinner anyway so wouldn’t be at the head table much at all.
We are very lucky to not only be close with our wedding party, no brainer, but we are also close with all their SOs. So we are going to have a very large head table of around 22 people!
The more I think about a sweetheart table, the more I like it. However, before Mrs. Perfume, I wasn’t down with it either. I’m still lost.
This is another reason I’m glad we’re doing a buffet style hors d’oeuvres reception. Because I sure couldn’t pick who to sit with! I like the fluidity of not having designated seating or eating, but then again I want a less formal feel.
I think sweetheart tables seem sort of lonely…I feel like they segregate the bride and groom from their guests - which might be nice since you don’t get to spend most of the rest of the day alone, but as a guest I always feel like I’m intruding on them.
I think sitting with families is most preferable because then you’re not really breaking up couples as you would when sitting with a bridal party (plus you’re with them the rest of the day).
We’ll be with our bridal party and their spouses (they’re all married)! I can understand how it’s hard to figure it all out - I’d be thinking about it a lot too!!
We had guest tables of 8-10 people, so we sat at a 10-person table, just like almost everyone else. 
We put my MOH and her date, his BM and his date, and a couple other members of the wedding party with their dates. We put other members of the wedding party with their dates and other friends they knew well. It worked really well for us, to sit with our closest friends, not split them up from their dates, and make sure the rest of our close friends didn’t feel left out.
We are doing a HT with us and our parents only. Our bridal party (including siblings in the party) will be sitting at two tables in front of the HT with their dates, so they’re not alone.
I think we’re just going to “reserve” 3 10 person tables and tell our bridal party/family that they can sit at any of them. I figure our parents/grandparents will sit with us for about 5 minutes and then everyone will be up and about anyway.
My FMIL commented that she didn’t like the sweetheart table idea, but I think it’s the only way that I’d like to do it. I want my bridal party comfortably seated with their SOs and I don’t want to sit with my family. I love the sweetheart table because FI and I will actually get to talk for a little bit before making the rounds to say hello to everyone. It’s a nice relaxed place, to rest before all the dancing begins!
We were all for the sweetheart table until the table with our parents, BM and MOH (sister and cousin) had two empty seats. Seems logical for us to sit there but we might have our priest (and very good family friend) sit there instead. It’s a big family joke that everyone wants to take the sweetheart table after us.
We’re also not doing a wedding party table (gasp!). With 6 tables of our friends not including cousins our age we wanted everyone to meet and not “break up” friends who haven’t seen each other in months! Something to consider…
I really like the sweetheart table. I dont think it isolates you from your guests at all. It puts you center stage and after all it is about the two of you. I went to a wedding where the head table included the wedding parties dates. It was way long but I thought it was nice of the bride and groom to take into consideration their wedding parties dates. It seemed to work well. Good luck!
i am personally a big fan of the bride & groom sitting at the head table. in all the cases i’ve been involved in, the wedding party dates just sat at another table (it also helps that we have a large social circle and the dates knew several other guests at the wedding)
for my seating chart, my immediate family is at one table, FI’s immediates are at another, we grouped the aunts, uncles, cousins for each side at their own tables, and mixed our friends together.
the most important thing to remember is that this set up won’t last long. it’s through the speeches and the dinner, all of which come with distractions, or something to listen to. don’t worry too much about ppl not mingling - they all have you in common- and there will always be something going on.
I’ve been struggling with this too! We have 6 total in our bridal party, but with their dates a 14 person head table seems monstrous 
I have been trying to think of ways to do two 8 person tables, or a long rectangular table with 7 on each side, but with my venue I have no idea how I’m going to make it work. It seems like every piece of the wedding is designed to make you crazy!
were doing a sweetheart table so we have like 2 minutes of alone time and so no one has to fight over who gets to sit with us 
We had planned a table of six with our parents, letting the rest of the wedding party sit with their SO’s and friends. I’ve only been in one wedding, but that was enough to know the head table isn’t all that fun when everyone else you know is at table 18.
Ultimately we ended up at a sweetheart table because of the way the other tables shook out. Math decided it more than anything else. But the up side of that was it compelled us to do table visits. Two rounds of them, in fact!
on the whole, sweetheart tables seem snobbish to me. you will not get any privacy (if that’s what you’re looking for) because people will talk to you MORE when you are at your table. in my experience, people talk to you LESS when you are at a big head table.
We are doing the sweetheart table. It may sound isolating but I have never heard anybody who has had one say that it actually is. Also, I have had people tell me that they were glad they had a sweetheart table because they got to see more people (people came to them) and they got to sit a little bit more. I know that I have always felt like I could not approach a table with the wedding party because I was not a part of that group. I feel much more comfortable approaching a sweetheart table.
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Mrs. Knitting, Toronto Age and Occupation: 24, Student Recruitment Assistant Fiance's Age and Occupation: 24, Neuroscience PhD Candidate Engagement Date: October 2009 Wedding Date: December 2010 Venue: University of Toronto Faculty Club About Me: I'm a pearl wearing, etiquette book reading Toronto girl who loves cooking and baking, museums, charm bracelets, and collecting books on Jackie Kennedy (a lot). I've been known to spend Sunday mornings at the antique market, Wednesday evenings at sister sushi dinners, and any bit of spare time reading. After six and a half years of many late night walks, watching DVDs together in bed, travelling to places like New York, and Tobermory, doing Sudokus together on the couch, lots of Indian food, the occasional yoga class, moving in together and so much more, Mr. Knitting and I are planning a cozy Christmasy (it's a word!), vintage wedding in Toronto complete with many DIY projects (eek!) and lots of help from our amazing group of family and friends.
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