Weddingbee Blog

I have a friend who was recently adding up the number of times she’s been a bridesmaid. The tally: 14. FOURTEEN! I literally don’t understand how this is even possible. She claims that it’s partially because she went to a Christian college and a lot of her friends married young (including her) and had huge wedding parties. The other part, not to be underestimated, is that she is a fabulous friend. But still - 14?! She said she’s one part honored, and one part broke from buying all those dresses. Poor thing.

I’ve been a bridesmaid three times. Each time I was totally spoiled with laid back brides who treated me nothing like a “maid”. (Side note: If anyone has come up with a more user friendly term I’d love to hear it. I keep calling them “my girls” because the implication of “bride’s maid” gets me every time. For example, I say “my girls are each in different dresses in different shades of aubergine”, or “my girls are spread all over the country - it’s crazy!”)

As a bride to be, I’ve been thinking about my experiences at the altar to date. There is no exact set of rules for being a bridesmaid, but I did find these tips helpful. Here are some brief recaps:

Bridesmaid Carrie’s Wedding:

Carrie was arguably the most laid-back bride in history. I am not exaggerating. She actually asked me to choose a dress, in any color and style, and let her know what it looked like. Then, she told her best man to coordinate his tie and the florist to match the flowers. “Oh, and then I guess we’ll make sure the invitations match too,” she said. Ultimately, she let me choose her wedding colors. I don’t think it gets more easy going.

She did ask me to put together bathroom baskets. I also did her makeup as well as her mother’s, my own, and Mama Seashells that day!

Carrie also rocked rustic simplicity before it exploded on the blogosphere.

Bridesmaid Ashley’s Wedding:

Ashley got married immediately after completing medical school. The task of wrapping up med school and planning a wedding boggles my mind, but she managed to pull it off. One afternoon she sent me a message over gchat saying that she found dresses at J.Crew on sale and she wanted to order them for all of her bridesmaids. I sent her my size, and a few days later my dress arrived on my doorstep. Easy peasy.

Bridesmaid Allie and I also got to partake in wedding dress shopping with Bridesmaid Ashley. It made for some wonderful girly fun, and it was special to be there on the day that Ashley purchased The Dress. Oh, and there may or may not have been a hilariously fun bachelorette party in Chicago, but I have to give Bridesmaid Allie most of the credit for that one.

Patty’s Wedding:

Patty was my childhood babysitter who found love at 40. I was honored to be her bridesmaid. MOH Julia was a bridesmaid as well, so she’s had practice walking down the aisle! My main requirement for Patty’s wedding was to find a navy dress. One afternoon I was wandering Ann Taylor on Michigan Avenue and happened upon two navy dresses - on in my size and one in Julia’s - on sale! I immediately called Patty, and it was a done deal.

I did wrap Jordan almond favors with Mama Seashell and Patty one afternoon after begging for a wedding-related task. I also did Patty’s make up for her wedding as well as my own and Sister Seashell’s.

I have repeatedly loved being a bridesmaid. It has been so special to be a part of the weddings of women that mean so much to me. Being a bridesmaid honors a relationship, and affords you a unique opportunity to literally stand by a loved one on one of the most important days of their lives.

How many times have you been a bridesmaid? What were your responsibilities?