Hi, My Name is Miss Cardigan, and I’m a Control Freak.

Hi, My Name is Miss Cardigan, and I’m a Control Freak.

July 12th, 2010 @ 11:02 am by Mrs. Cardigan
Share

It’s true. I can’t help it.

The scene: A few weeks ago, in the living room. About a week before, I had asked Mr. C to call and get some information about a potential rehearsal dinner location.

Mr. C: (looks up phone number, calls restaurant) “Hi, I was just calling to ask if you guys will allow reservations for large groups, like over 20?”

Me: (waving arms and whispering loudly) “Ask about rehearsal dinners, not reservations!”

Mr. C: (ignoring me) “Okay, so we would be able to have a table guaranteed? No waiting?”

Me: NO! Rehearsal dinner!!!!!

Mr. C: (now speaking to a manager) “Hello, so if we’re having a rehearsal dinner and we want to make reservations for it…”

Me: “Ask specifically about rehearsal dinners! How do they work? Can we book in advance? How far in advance?”

… Uh, I think you get the point. Needless to say, I think Mr. Cardy was pretty frustrated with me. However, we had just had a miscommunication. I asked him to call the restaurant to find out more information, assuming that he understood that meant that I wanted explicit details about how they book rehearsal dinners and how it all works. He thought I just wanted to find out whether or not they’ll take a reservation for us.

Obviously, Mr. Cardigan was irritated that I just assumed he knew what I was talking about, and then proceeded to correct him the entire time he was on the phone - I might as well have just made the phone call myself! In the midst of our arguing about who was right and who was wrong in this situation (I know, I know. I was wrong.) he said that he was just trying to do this for me because I asked him to help me out. This struck me a little because… um hello? This is OUR wedding, not mine. It’s not like you’re doing me some great favor - this is what you’re supposed to be doing! But…if I’m going to let him help, I need to let him help. Not, you know, ask him to help and then micromanage his every move.

I think this is something I’m going to need to work on.

Did you have a hard time letting go of and delegating wedding tasks? Please tell me I’m not the only crazy control freak!

Tags: austin, emotional, rehearsal |

Share |

Latest Gallery Pics

Hot Pink and White with Zebra 36" Lighted Spandex Ostrich Feather Centerpiece

31 Responses to “Hi, My Name is Miss Cardigan, and I’m a Control Freak.”

1 2 Last

Guest

Sarah

See, I thought he was being all clever by conspicuously avoiding the W-word and its inherent up-charges!

7/12/10 @ 11:19 am (reply)

Member

TheFutureMcBride (message) 4,479 posts, Honey bee

I’ve been told I’m a control freak about the wedding, but I just don’t believe it. i just want them done right

7/12/10 @ 11:29 am (reply)

Bee

Mrs. Hamster (message) 4,046 posts, Honey bee

You read my mind, girl!

7/12/10 @ 11:38 am (reply)

Member

messybride (message) 177 posts, Blushing bee

I’m pretty sure this has happened more than once during the duration of my wedding planning. Usually my fiance just gives up and hands me the phone.

7/12/10 @ 11:39 am (reply)

Bee

Miss Knitting (message) 1,072 posts, Bumble bee

Haha I’m a control freak too. I’m actively trying to tone it down a bit…

7/12/10 @ 11:39 am (reply)

Member

MissHelen (message) 2,440 posts, Buzzing bee

I totally did this! Not book the rehearsal dinner, but micromanaged. FI and I had a long conversation about it and I pretty much came to the same conclusion that you did. It’s not fair for me to nitpick everything he does, and it makes him feel like he can’t do everything right (which I hate). It’s definitely a practice in letting go, but I think it’s worth it.

7/12/10 @ 11:43 am (reply)

Bee

Mrs. Pug (message) 3,753 posts, Honey bee

totally with you, not only about the controlling but also the “you should be doing this, and doing it right!” poor mr. pug.

7/12/10 @ 11:49 am (reply)

Member

menobride (message) 1,669 posts, Bumble bee

OMG, I’m going through almost the same exact issue over a similar item on our wedding checklist! Mr. Meno wants to take on the reception dinner (our reception is only 16 attendees), and he asks questions quite differently than I want him to.
Then again, he’s taking it on because he is a chef and understands the business, so maybe I need to give up control…just a little!

7/12/10 @ 11:52 am (reply)

Bee

Mrs. French Fries (message) 2,218 posts, Buzzing bee

Hello, twin! I’m the exact same way. Cut to: a scene of Mr. FF and me this weekend, trying to install a new thermostat in our home. It’s one of the things I’m working on, to0.

7/12/10 @ 11:58 am (reply)

10.

Bee

Mrs. French Fries (message) 2,218 posts, Buzzing bee

Yikes. A “zero” for an “o”? Get it together, FF! Obviously, I meant “too.”

7/12/10 @ 11:59 am (reply)

11.

Member

aruka11 (message) 615 posts, Busy bee

Wow - this describes us to a ‘T’. We even had the EXACT conversation you’re describing.

7/12/10 @ 12:09 pm (reply)

12.

Member

moderndaisy (message) 6,607 posts, Bee Keeper

I hear you! Mr. Moderndaisy quickly learned how thorough he had to be with his ‘tasks’ even though I tried to only assign him fun things.

7/12/10 @ 1:14 pm (reply)

13.

Member

missjyc (message) 2,769 posts, Sugar bee

hi miss c. my name is missjyc. and i am right there with you as a-type control freak!

i was watching the bethenny getting married show, when it dawned on me that im putting the MR. through ups and downs, when i ask for help… and then proceed to do that said task on my own… “because i have to do it the “right” way”… and right way = my way. (obviously a wrong thought process).

hang in there, it does get easier… and hey you’re way ahead than i was at your point in planning, i was still insisting on the mr. being the bad guy… when in reality, i was the one not letting him help!

7/12/10 @ 1:27 pm (reply)

14.

Member

seattlemeg (message) 538 posts, Busy bee

It’s sooo hard not to want to micro-manage/ be in control! My solution is usually to go busy myself with something else while he is managing his task. Then I’ll check in with him later and ask questions about what he’s done/planned. If I feel like he’s missed anything, I’ll ask him to give another call to verify. It usually works pretty well! Though I have to admit, I haven’t given him too much to do, and he’s feeling sad about it right now, thinking that I’m taking on all the work. He doesn’t understand that its okay since he does all the cooking and a lot of the laundry that it’s all fairly distributed, I’m the planner, he’s the maintainer!

7/12/10 @ 1:36 pm (reply)

15.

Bee

Mrs. Guinea Pig (message) 1,377 posts, Bumble bee

Hahaha - I do this with Mr. GP all. the. time. Not only about wedding stuff, but just… life. Clearly I have a problem Oops!

7/12/10 @ 2:30 pm (reply)

16.

Bee

Mrs. Trail Mix (message) 6,328 posts, Bee Keeper

*raises hand
Yup, I’m right there too…Oh well, what can ya do?

7/12/10 @ 3:40 pm (reply)

17.

Member

Helstrong (message) 943 posts, Busy bee

I might just love you. I am the same way, and you found me socks. Yep it’s love.

Maybe we need a board on the forums for control freaks, we can start a support group.

7/12/10 @ 3:42 pm (reply)

18.

Member

ktisthatbees (message) 2,742 posts, Sugar bee

I don’t think it’s a control freak so much as it is just a female thing. Yes, that may be an overgeneralization, but seriously, all my female friends do this to their guys, and me? Oh I am the queen of micromanaging. I make no apologies though. The mister knows what he is getting himself into.

7/12/10 @ 3:56 pm (reply)

19.

Member

tea (message) 7,288 posts, Bee Keeper

i have a hard time giving up tasks period so i’m sure it’ll be the same when the wedding comes around. hopefully i’ll get better though cuz i’ll need the help

7/12/10 @ 4:37 pm (reply)

20.