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Father Locket, Mr. Locket, Baby Bro Locket “N”, Big Bro Locket “E”, Me, Little Bro Locket “C”, Mama Locket, and Little Bro Locket “P” (missing Sis Locket)
Family Photo May 2008
One thing that Mr. Locket really needed to adjust to when we first start dating was my family. You see, the thing is I don’t have a small family… in fact, my (immediate) family is considered to be quite large under most standards. I am second in line of six children and Mr. Locket is an only child. Becoming a part of my family has been a huge transition for him.
Not only is my family large, but it is kind of “crazy”. I have four brothers all of whom are loud and rambunctious (especially when they are all under one roof). Papa Locket is Peruvian and has a cultural flare about him that is not so easy to understand when you first meet him. He is stubborn, blunt, very outspoken and lacks an eye for subtlety (which, I am told is a cultural thing… apparently, it’s completely normal in Peru to openly tell a relative they look fat!). Mama Locket on the other hand is like me, quite and soft-spoken until the situation overwhelms her… we are what most would call “pushovers”. My sister is somewhat of a diva (for lack of a better term). Looks are very important to her and what’s even more important is getting her way (I think she may have the middle child syndrome, 3 is sorta the middle of 6 right?). And the most tricky part I have found in having such a large family… it’s very hard to get a group picture where everyone is present.
Here is a shot from Dec. ’08: (From left to right) Papa Locket, Big Bro Locket “E”, Mom, Mr. Locket, Lil Bro Locket “P”, Me
And a nearly complete pic of all the kids taken at my cousin’s wedding June ’06 (left to right): Sis Locket “H”, Lil Bro Locket “C”, Lil Bro Locker “P”, Big Bro Locket “E”, “E”s ex-fiancé, Me and Mr. Locket
**missing from this pic is Lil Bro Locket “N”
It’s funny seeing us all collectively, we really do look quite Hispanic. It reminds me of a time when we were all younger trailing at my mother’s heels in a mall when a woman came up to her and commended her on adopting all us children.
And here is a pic of the long-lost Lil’ Bro Locket “N” with Sis Locket, Papa Locket, and myself:
And, one last pic of Mr. Locket with Mama Locket… the funny thing is she could pass as his mom more than my own!
And, there you have it my family in a nutshell! Mr. Locket has done a great job adjusting to my family and I am so glad they didn’t scare him away. We can only look forward to the years to come when each sibling starts their own family… we are going to need one really really long table at Thanksgiving!
Did you fear how your fiancé would adjust to your family? What is your family like? Did the apple fall far from the tree?
Great post! I, too, look ethnically different than my mom and we got the “adoption” assumptions growing up as well!
You are so lucky to have such a great family! My immediate fam is small, but my father is Sicilian so our extended family is humongous. And loud. And outspoken. And likes to eat and drink a lot. And the women like to gossip. For my FI, who comes from an average-sized, conservative Midwestern farming lineage, our family gatherings were hardly bearable. After almost five years, he’s finally comfortable with the fact that he will get yelled out, coerced to smoke cigars and drink copious amounts of wine and that these activities do not make Thanksgiving any less Thanksgiving-y. 
I bet Mr L will be wishing he came from a huge family, too! Have you guys talked about how big you want your own family to be?
@jjilyeah: that’s too funny that you got those comments too! You should have seen the look on my Mom’s face when she heard the woman’s comment!
@kristindesigner: I wouldn’t call them great lol! JK they aren’t so bad, just a bit overwhelming (the men in my family are highly opinionated). And, as for Mr. L wishing he had a big family…I think he was just fine being an only child (with it came spoils). It was def an adjustment though for someone who wasn’t used to sharing to adjust to my family (who literally take food off your plate without asking) whom doesn’t always consider asking.
As far as our own family we don’t want to go too big and are thinking 2-4kids (Mr. Locket would prefer to stay smaller as would I) Growing up in a big family I learned how easy it was to get “lost”. We want to be sure none of our children ever feel left out.
How funny! I’m the last in line of 6, also with four brothers and a sister. My family is Vietnamese, and my fiance is an only child of mixed heritage, including 1/4 Japanese. He’s adjusted quite well to my family. I am struggling with the idea of split holidays though! At least our families are only 3 hours’ drive apart. Isn’t it funny having a huge family?
As the youngest of 5, my family including spouses and nieces/nephew is a total of 12, not counting FI yet. Add to that the fact that both of my brothers are hard of hearing and we constantly have to raise our voices so they can hear us, and of course everyone trying to talk over each other, you could say that we’re a LOUD bunch. His family is 6 people, which includes his grandparents. On holidays when we have everyone over, I always feel so bad because I feel like his family doesn’t know how to handle having so many people around. They always retreat into our study or leave early when my fam’s hanging out or playing games. I’m thinking along the lines of you too, we’ll try to keep it small but not too small like his family.
Having an extended family is an awesome feeling..The happiness that you shared is worth it and can’t be paid by money..I am sad of other family members that are on the other countries to look for money…I’m glad that I have my family intact
Great post. McGroom has to get used to so many people in my family hating each other, like want to fight each other hate, like I had to stop a fist fight at an important party (thanks Mom…NOT). Plus, there’s so many divorces (between 8 people there are 17 divorces), so holidays are awful as are anything else when my family is within a 5 mile radius of each other. It’s why I wanted to run away and get married, but we’re having a wedding with all our families, so we’ll see. It’s kind of like I come from two separate families since I can not remember my parents ever being married. Anyway, my sister promised to kick people’s butts if they misbehave just like I’ll do for her one day. Hopefully, they’ll be good, but I really have no hope that our wedding will be free from fights.
On a side note, 2 of our closest friends are married. One is white and the other isn’t. The wifey is always talking about their future children dealing with comments like you and jjilyeah said, but I never believed it would actually happen. Guess I’m wrong and that, to put it mildly, is bothersome.
Ha! My very white mother once told strangers she was “just baby-sitting” when my brother, sister, and I were acting up! We all look like my Mexican dad
@jduck84: Holidays are tough! We do our best to split them up right, but sometimes the 5 hour car ride to my family is too much and it’s soo much easier and much less stressful if we just drive the hour to see Mr. L’s fam.
@dpham67: it’s funny how you say they retreat…Mr. L sometimes needs to retreat from my family when they are visiting lol!
@Vermont Wedding: I am not sure what you are talking about in regards to the money, but yes, family is important!
@TheFutureMcBride: It’s surprising how many “racial” comments we have endured…I think a lot of it had to do with the very white demographic that we grew up in though. It was interesting for Mr. L to learn that even though I am lighter than my siblings in color I still dealt with the many racial related questions that he never had to. I remember one time a classmate asked me what I was. I don’t think they meant it offensively, it just reminded me that yes I am a bit different, so what!
@eep: hahaha that is great! I am very curious to see how our kids turn out….we never know what recessive genes could sneak out! I keep wondering if we will have two children that look like polar opposites.
My FIL is from Bolivia and has a significant extended family in the states. Following my significant weight loss, one of FIL’s cousins (a very nice middle-aged woman) approaches me, tells me how great I look, and follows up with, “you looks so much better than , she’s really put on a lot of weight.” This leaves me totally flabbergasted; not just because I perceive the comment as inappropriate, but my SIL was three months pregnant at the time, but hadn’t yet announced this fact to the family at large. Awkward!
What a beautiful family! We are five so I know something what that’s like too!
Your post really resonated with me! I am the oldest of 6! The unique thing about my family is the fact that my youngest sister is 16 years younger than me (my mom remarried and the youngest 3 are my half siblings. I guess you could say I have 6 siblings since I also have a step sister, but she lives out of state. I always worried my family was too much for my fiance because he has 1 brother and they are 4 years apart. His family recently moved out of state and this summer we have been visiting my family a TON. One morning while we were getting ready to go home he told me he really loved my family and he really appreciated that they have taken him in as one of us because he really misses his family and they help take away some of that pain! I cried! It was so sweet and I’m so happy I’ve finally found a man that accepts my family for who they are and loves them like I do! My extended family is huge as well–my stepdad has 5 siblings and they all have at least 4 kids each (and some grandkids now)!
Even if we love my large family, we will only have 3 kids at the most, haha!
@brew: Our family spent a year in Bolivia when I was 6….just thinking about Bolivia really makes me crave a saltena (if you have never had one you should convince you FIL to make them !) That is so true about the cultural thing though..my aunt came to visit once and the first words out of her mouth when she saw us “Que gordita”…even at 12 I could figure out what she was saying!
@Mrs. Hermit Crab: Five is nearly as many and I am sure just as much a challenge!
@uwgrad10: I didn’t even think to include my half-siblings (since they didn’t grow up with us and I barely see them), but we do have to other half siblings from my father’s previous marriages.
I can join you with the Mr. looking more like my mom than I do. I am half American-Indian and half-white, and my white suburban boy has a difficult time dealing with my crazy aunts.
We are both only children though! It’s weird.
I’m one of four and all of my siblings are older, they’re all married, and two of them have kids. I was an aunt at the age of 7! My fiance feels a little bit weird that he’s becoming an uncle by marrying me, and that his oldest nephew is 20 (my fiance is 26)!
So funny! My oldest brother has dark skin and jet black hair, middle brother has red hair and super pale skin and then there’s me… brown haired and neither pale nor tan. My mom was asked a lot when we were kids if all three of us were hers to which she indignantly replied “YES! SAME MOTHER AND FATHER!” Hahahah.
But, I love your big family - I always thought it would be fun to have a lot of siblings. Crazy, I’m sure, but fun nonetheless.
awww that’s is so cute! i only have one sibling and my husband has two so it’s not that much different but i will say the part that i had to adjust to was the fact that him and his extended family are so close cause that is not the way with ours.
I feel ya -I am one of 5 kids, and since my mother had my little sister and I later in life, people always asked if she was our grandmother! It was hard for my only child husband to acclimate to my large family.
My serious boyfriend’s (before I met my husband) dad was Peruvian, and I totally get what your saying about lacking the usual “American cultural niceties”. My ex and his siblings looked “white” (he’s blond!) for intensive purposes, so his mother never got asked about adoption. People should really learn to keep their mouths shut.
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Mrs. Locket, Ithaca, NY Age and Occupation: 25, Research Technician Fiance's Age and Occupation: 28, former Banker hoping to become an Officer of the Law Engagement Date: June 15, 2009 Wedding Date: September 2010 Venue: Heron Hill Winery About Me: I am a little bit of everything all rolled into one: A girly gal with rough edges---I love to get dolled up just as much as I enjoy throwing on some sneaks to toss a ball with Mr. Locket. My love for crafting and creating is quite apparent and I've been referred to as a Wonder Woman/Martha Stewart/Stepford Wife hybrid (yup, I'll take that as a compliment). I adore sewing, photography, sculpture, good eats (mmm tapas), baking, snugging and oh, pretty much everything in between (there's not much I dislike). I am super excited to be planning our vineyard wedding and couldn't be happier to be marrying Mr. Locket. We are a quirky, fun-loving couple residing in our college town with our two pups Maple and Molly. We love to go on hikes, visit our local dog park and to bask in the beauty of many of the local falls and gorges. We are an indecisive pair, but together we somehow manage to make up our minds (it's the easy stuff that's tricky).
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