Is THAT What It Is?

Is THAT What It Is?

July 15th, 2010 @ 5:13 pm by Mrs. Taco
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Aside from asking about whether our planning is done (pretty much) or if I’m excited (yep!) people ask me most often these days about whether I’m mega-stressed. Everyone seems to know and accept that it’s part of the game. True, there are lots of balls (HAHA I’m 12, too) to keep in the air, and most of us don’t do this professionally. We have a lot of other things going on in our respective lives, and we don’t want planning to interfere with living.

But I’ve decided that the root of stress for control freaks detail-oriented planners like ourselves is simply being unable to let go.

For example, I made a draft day-of, hour-by-hour schedule for our bridal party and vendors. I’ll send this out the week of the wedding, and I’m sure everyone will read it and get what they need to do. Even if they don’t, I’m sure they can fake it and I’ll be none the wiser. But once the schedule leaves my hands, I give up control of the timeline. This comes with plenty of “what if” worries, and an overwhelming desire to ask people, a la kindergarten, if they understood the schedule. Vendors will surely get confirmation phone calls in the days prior, but our bridal party comprises, well, friends. So, I’m trying to remind myself that just letting it go is probably the best thing for everyone.

Invitations are another example. Once you send your invitations out, you put the onus squarely on other people. And then you wait, patiently if you can, knowing you have zero control over when people respond. As a side note, is the RSVP a dying trend? Similar to when people (like me) have trouble being punctual, I know that not-responding usually doesn’t come from a bad place. But from electronic to paper invitations for get-togethers big and small, I wonder if formally accepting or declining is becoming passé. Of course, I say this as an avid RSVP-card stalker (30 left!), an obsessive Google Calendar user, and a freakishly quick email responder. Has that been the case for anyone else out there? Did you have to track down a bunch of people after your RSVP deadline?

I hope, of course, that every one of you says you’re cool as a cucumber. But if you’re not, do you know why you’re stressed out?

Tags: emotional, san-francisco |

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11 Responses to “Is THAT What It Is?”

Member

Tralala (message) 113 posts, Blushing bee

I really hope I don’t have to track people down too much… My FMIL told me she didn’t get to eat much at FBIL/FSIL’s wedding because she was so busy running around doing stuff. I’m hoping that by doing a timeline like yours, and maybe hiring a day-of coordinator if it fits the budget…. everyone can eat, drink and be married!

7/15/10 @ 5:19 pm (reply)

Bee

Miss Hot Dog (message) 317 posts, Helper bee

I’m the same way as you! I’m religious about keeping my calendar up to date, I answer emails almost as soon as I read them, and I mark off our RSVPs as soon as I check the mail haha

I’m actually not as stressed as I thought I’d be. But occassionally I do catch myself forgetting to eat… Bride brain or what?

7/15/10 @ 5:27 pm (reply)

Bee

Miss Cardigan (message) 8,645 posts, Bee Keeper

I’m the same way you are - I respond to emails insanely fast (sometimes I make myself wait a few minutes, so I don’t look too desperate ) and I’m always extremely quick to send back RSVPs and whatnot! I have a feeling once it gets to RSVP time I’m going to be a complete mess waiting for them to come in!

7/15/10 @ 6:00 pm (reply)

Member

g33kyb3cky (message) 21 posts, Newbee

I know what you mean about being a control freak because I am one too… Lucky me I am about a year away from wedding so there is lots more to control still!

7/15/10 @ 6:16 pm (reply)

Member

LoriLori (message) 727 posts, Busy bee

Wow I think you’ve hit me right on the head -

But I’ve decided that the root of stress for control freaks detail-oriented planners like ourselves is simply being unable to let go.

True! I’m at 9 days out and I can’t help trying to line all my ducks up in a perfect row..

7/15/10 @ 6:16 pm (reply)

Bee

Mrs. Cola (message) 2,868 posts, Sugar bee

::raises hand::

control freak here!

I even handed out printed versions (on lavender paper) of our schedules to our wedding party along with their gifts. AND had color coded the “really important” times for them to take extra notice of. I like to think all the control and prep made me less stressed though….

7/15/10 @ 6:27 pm (reply)

Member

miss vino (message) 6 posts, Newbee

thanks for posting. i feel like it was 80 something days left for me yesterday, and now all of a sudden i am 43 days out. i’ve been calm and collected swearing not to become a “bridezilla” the whole time. what is stressing me out is the money that i feel guilty that my parents have graciously offered to pay. the wedding is MUCH bigger than i originally planned. had a hard time saying no to a lot of parent requests (from both sides). it’s so hard to draw the line on your guest list. i too stalk the mailbox and have got an overwhelming amount of yes r.s.v.p’s. more than i expected. i need to just let go as well, there’s nothing i can do about the size of the wedding at this point, and it’s a little depressing that i’m worrying this much about the wedding so that will be my plan too. my schedules are basically done, i’m handing everything over to the groom’s aunt on the day of the wedding, and i plan to be in the “brides room” with my girls, having a little wine before i walk down the aisle…….just a little:)

7/15/10 @ 8:16 pm (reply)

Member

tnason (message) 140 posts, Blushing bee

Two weeks past our RSVP date and a 50% response rate. We’ve got a little tracking to do.

7/15/10 @ 11:10 pm (reply)

Member

Miss Shoe (message) 105 posts, Blushing bee

It’s so confusing why some people fail to reply! The ones we’re missing are friends who aren’t married. I believe if they go through this process, they’ll drastically change their response habits.

As a person who likes things in order, I am going to start the day by asking myself, “what’s the funniest thing that’ll happen?” and turn it into a fun story-in-the-making.

7/16/10 @ 8:07 am (reply)

10.

Member

ktisthatbees (message) 2,742 posts, Sugar bee

Gosh I sure hope that RSVP-ing is not becoming passe, it seems so rude to the bride and groom for them to have to call you up to see if you are coming even after they sent the RSVP. I understand, people forget, but it takes about a minute to circle yes or no, write a number down and pop in back in your mailbox.
I’m glad you’re learning to let go taco! I’m still working on that one

7/16/10 @ 10:32 am (reply)

11.