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Sometimes I feel like I’m not part of the cool crowd. It seems like everywhere I look, people say that they’re marrying their best friend. And as much as I love Mr. SD, it would be a total lie to call him my best friend. We enjoy spending time together, and have a lot of common interests that we love to pursue with each other. But neither of us relies on the other to fulfill the best friend role.
I learned a life lesson from some extremely successful, intelligent, and wonderful women.
They belong to a group called the Soroptimists, and it’s like Girl Scouts for grown ups. These women taught me that when marriage gets rough and men fail you (which they will, no matter how badly they don’t want to), your girlfriends will always be there with a margarita to cheer you up. They’ve cleaned me up and been there for me without ever batting an eyelash.
I’m going to express a seemingly unpopular opinion. I don’t want Mr. SD to be my best friend. I don’t want to put all my eggs in one basket. I need to cultivate a life away from my husband. And to be honest, he just plain drives me crazy sometimes. We have a very healthy relationship, one of the best in our group of friends. And I think it’s because we’ve decided to set healthy boundaries with each other. We don’t do everything together. His best friend Cody is his running buddy. They go fishing, hunting, drinking, and working together. Mr. SD will be his best man next weekend. I’ve got four girls who I consider my soul mates. I can’t wait to get them all together on my wedding day, too. But even though we have our time away, Mr. SD and I still spend quality time together working on our relationship. I can’t wait to marry the man I love with all my heart, and spend the rest of our lives together.
Any other brides out there marrying great guys they don’t consider their best friend?
Me and my FI aren’t best friends either. What would that make my bff? We complement eachother, and have the same life goals and directions, but not best friends. I’m with you!
I understand what you’re saying, but I think it’s also possible to have more than one best friend 
I am in the best friend category, but I was having this conversation with my sister a week ago and she completely agrees with you. I think it’s an interesting point and I think it’s fantastic that you have such a great group of friends.
@maureen: It is, I have several, but Mr. SD isn’t really one of them. He’s my main man, but I don’t gossip with him, or do my crafting with him, or call him when I need to bitch about something. We’re very close, and love each other with a great relationship, but I never want to go to him for that part of my life. It’s good to keep a little mystery in the relationship, like when my period makes me want to rip out my uterus. Or when the man serving my lunch is a total hottie. You know, big things like that 
It’s more of a companionship thing to me. We do almost everything together, have for 3 years, and well, it works for us. Some couples work differently
I actually feel weird saying he’s my best friend, only because I think he’s so much more! I always refer to him as my favorite person.
Totally in this camp, it’s a completely different dynamic btwn me and Mr TM vs me and my girlfriends and there are things I tell him I don’t tell them and vice versa! I would be lost without my soul sistahs!
I don’t think having your husband as your ‘best friend’ means being joined at the hip and doing every single thing together
I have several best friends who are female, and I would be entirely and utterly lost without them. My husband and I need things outside of each other so that we remain interesting to each other. But he knows me better than anyone, and vice versa–we have been through everything together…college, grad school, terror at having to enter the real world, cross country moves, parents’ cancer diagnoses, enormous personal disappointment, home purchases, and countless other things. Neither of us has a single friend that has been there through all of that, so yes, he’s my best friend, and I’m his. It doesn’t mean that there aren’t parts of my life that are just mine, because there are. It’s the same way that I share most things with my girlfriends, but keep my relationship separate from them, because it’s not for them to know all about. I feel lucky that my amazing husband sees me not just as his wife, but as his go-to person, and his best friend. I have several friends that are firmly in your camp, though, and don’t want a best friend/husband–they need more separate spheres in their life. I think everyone just has to know what they’re looking for from their spouse, and it sounds like you and Mr. SD fulfill everything that you need from each other. Which is fantastic!
I’m with you Miss Sand Dollar - I had 6 of my very best friends by my side when I married the love of my life - and it was amazing to have all of that love all around. Although I do let my hubby know when I’d like to rip my uterus out b/c then he is even more sweet and dotes on me. But I’m on your side on this - I think it’s important to have our life, and always think of he and I as a team. But I have other friends that tell me secrets and want the secret to stop with ME, not be passed along to my SO. I would hope that my friends pay me the same respect.
My best friend is a friend I’ve had since I was 9. She’ll always be there for me in ways a husband can’t be.
My SO is AMAZING, we have an AMAZING relationship, he’l like a best friend in many ways, but he’s not MY best friend. He’s my lover, friend, compaion, partner, confidant… he just doesn’t hold the title.
I consider my husband my best friend, but I also consider my sister my best friend
I’ve always been in the boat that things you can have a few “best friends” because different people fulfill different parts of your needs. My sister, for the girly stuff, and my husband, for stuff I simply can’t go to other people for.
I loved reading this post, and you’re most definitely part of the cool crowd
I don’t call him my best friend just because when I think of best friend, I think of friends from kindergarten and middle school and high school. He’s my closest companion and if we weren’t dating, I’d call him my best friend. But we are, and so he’s not my best friend, he’s my soon to be husband!!
I completely agree with you. I love my FI and spend the majority of my time with him, however if I need someone to really vent too or jsut talk about life too, I call up my MOH who is my best friend! We have an understanding of 21 years of friendship and although I love my FI and confide most things in him, I share all with my MOH. It’s just the way we are.
Well, I have my best female friend, best male friend, and McGroom is in a category all by himself. They all know pieces of me, but I think McGroom knows me the best. They’re all my best friends because they’re the closest to me. Oh, and my sibs, they’re in a whole other group too. So I think I understand.
I’m glad to know there are ladies out there like me. I totally understand those who’s SO is their best friend, and at times I’m a little jealous. But, we’re so different it’s hard to see how we could be. I mean, sitting in a deer stand at 5am sounds like misery to me! But that’s what he and his buddies do. Sometimes I feel a little out of the loop when I think about how different our relationship is compared to the “norm”. But we’re confident it will work for us!
my ‘best friend’ just broke up with me. Now i know who my real best friend is and even when i find the one i won’t forget how important she is again
Maybe it’s a Houston thing….the love of my life does not fulfill the best friend role. And (drum roll, please) I am okay with that! Girlfriends are truly one of the best inventions…soul mates, psychologists, personal shoppers…and they have shoulders to cry on (even if you are crying because you are laughing so hard:-)
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Mrs. Sand Dollar, Houston Age and Occupation: 24, Graphic Designer Fiance's Age and Occupation: 22, Electrical Technician Engagement Date: January 8, 2010 Wedding Date: September 2010 Venue: MacLean Park About Me: I'm a domestic diva down to the core. I heart cooking, sewing, baking, decorating and making sure we have a hand-crafted home. The best part about the wedding is I get to incorporate it all! I make sure I put my art degree to good use by screen printing, craft knife cutting, and a whole lotta graphic design. We're having a big-time party on a small-time budget, and I promise to show you a boot-scootin', barbecue-eatin', finger-lickin' good time! Mr. Sand Dollar and I spend most of our time on DIY projects or traipsing around the outdoors with our two pooches Rory and Juno. I'm looking forward to sharing our journey with all of you!
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