Weddingbee Blog

Where did all the freaking time go? The Hot Wings are just under 30 days until the big Wedding Soiree! EEK! What the heck happened? We had a long 22 month engagement. I should be done with all this planning, right? Nope. The to-do list went insane once we hit the 1 month mark. What the to-do list did not prepare me for was the irrational fears and horrid dreams that would start with 1 month to go.

Here’s the most irrational of them all.

I have a facial feature called the gummy smile. Ever heard of it? If you haven’t, you have probably seen it and have not known what to call it or that it even needed to be labeled.

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Having a gummy smile means that you can see my gums when I smile. In the picture above, you can see the picture on the left is of a gummy smile. The picture on the right is a non-gummy smile. Typically, it’s something you’re born with. In my case, I’ve had it my whole life. A lot of people in my family have it.

You can’t really tell I have a gummy smile in a lot of my photos if I’m “fake smiling”. In other words, you tell me to smile and I put on a smile. It’s not natural. I’m not necessarily happy or laughing.

Me and … guess who (find out here) at our Bachelorette Party

The “problem”, if you could call it that, is when I start getting happy.

Yup, that’s Miss Pashmina and me in college about to head out to a David Bowie concert.

The happier I get, the more gummy my smile/laugh gets.

Over the years, I developed a couple solutions. In high school, I liked to use a lipstick that was about the same color as my gums.

I would try covering my mouth like Mr. Hot Wings did here, but I pretty much didn’t like that technique. So I just started making an effort to allow myself to go open mouthed.

For some this may not seem like a big deal. But to you I ask, do you really know what the deal is? People have told me all my life that I would be so much prettier if I didn’t have a gummy smile. Punks! Look, we all have our “it” thing that bugs the heck out of us. Some of us deal with weight issues, others don’t like their nose, or their forehead. Name a body part and we could probably have discussions all day long.

Among women, it’s pretty normal right? There are many ways to deal with things that bother us on our wedding days. You want longer lashes you say? Fakies to the rescue. You want bigger boobs? There are push up bras galore. Extensions, hair coloring, facials, tanning, Spanx, and on and on the list goes.

What makes the thinking about my gummy smile irrational is that there’s really nothing I can do about it aside from surgery. So, what’s a bride-to-be to do?

Here’s my answer. We’ve all heard and read that it’s important to let the little things go on your wedding day so you can enjoy it for what it is. I’m here to remind all of us (me included) that the “letting go” must start a lot earlier than we have been told. We need to let go of the imperfections that we obsess over. Sure, I look pretty nice in that first “fake smile” picture. But it doesn’t convey the same emotions and joy that all the other pictures convey. If I want the photojournalistic photos that we paid the big bucks for, then I must come to terms with my real smile and laugh. The real me that comes out when I’m happy and joyful. And don’t even get me started on the ugly-cry face that’s bound to come out on my wedding day. It’s ugly, yes. But it’s real, and it is what happens. Let. It. Go. Now. Don’t wait until later, friends. Let your sanity have some peace of mind that you are a beautiful bride. What you can “enhance”, you will. What you cannot will just be. I dare someone to tell me Mr. Hot Wings and I don’t look totally adorable in those last 2 pictures, despite my gummy laugh.

How are you dealing with your irrational wedding fears?