A Question I Never Thought About Until Now…

A Question I Never Thought About Until Now…

July 23rd, 2010 @ 5:45 pm by Miss Handbag
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I am a military sister.

I have 2 brothers, both are in the military. I am the only sibling that lives in the same state as my mother. My brothers and I are very close. We email, text, and Blackberry messenger almost every day. When they are deployed, it’s lots of sleepless nights and nightmares. My little brother who is currently in Afghanistan, brought up the wedding and was curious about the plans so far. (I just love him!) He asked me who was walking me down the aisle?

It was a good question, as I have no idea! I never really thought about it. We then moved on to the subject of the whole reason and history behind who walks you down the aisle.

To me, the person that walks you down the aisle should be someone who raised you, someone who helped mold you into the person you are today and is passing you along to the one who will continue to do that until death do you part.

My father is NOT in the picture.

I have lots of anger about it and refuse to invite him to the wedding, let alone have the pleasure of walking me down the aisle.

I am not having a traditional wedding. It’s in Jamaica, on the ancient ruins, and we are doing a first look before the wedding, so why should we be traditional about who walks me down the aisle?

Here are some of my thoughts on who should walk me down:

My brothers, both of them. They helped raised me, we are a tripod, we are best friends and we have a bond that no one could ever understand. Maybe they would walk me down dressed in their uniforms? I’m unsure of this one.
Or, our mom - she is my hero. She raised 3 kids all by herself and had 3 jobs to support us so our lifestyle wouldn’t be as rough without a father. She worked long hours and never got enough sleep, all for us. So, we could have the life that she never did.
So, who should it be? Our mom or my boys?

I guess I still have a while to answer this question, but I wish their was a way I could honor all three of them. They all made me who I am today and they all deserve to be congratulated on our special day.

What are your thoughts?

Tags: family, jamaica, relationships |

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59 Responses to “A Question I Never Thought About Until Now…”

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Member

sf_carrie (message) 463 posts, Helper bee

I vote for Mom walking you down the aisle, and then have your two brothers give a speech (peppered with childhood stories).

7/23/10 @ 5:53 pm (reply)

Bee

Mrs. Trail Mix (message) 6,328 posts, Bee Keeper

Hmmmm, that is a tough decision…I kinda like the idea of your brothers walking you down, maybe your mom could be standing there with Mr Handy waiting for you as well, and you guys could all hug before everything gets started?

7/23/10 @ 5:55 pm (reply)

Member

aliceinweddingland (message) 243 posts, Helper bee

i vote for mom! she sounds like a rock and it would be such a special way to honor her and all of her sacrifices. that said, no wrong choice here…sounds like you’ll be surrounded by love on your wedding day no matter what.

7/23/10 @ 5:57 pm (reply)

Bee

Miss Cardigan (message) 8,645 posts, Bee Keeper

I love the idea of having your brothers walk you down the aisle! So sweet!

7/23/10 @ 5:57 pm (reply)

Guest

Josie

MOM. My mom walked me down the aisle for the very same reasons you mention - she raised me, helped me to get to know who I was and what I wanted and needed out of life. Let me make mistakes.
I have the most amazing shot of my Mom and I, right before the walk down the aisle, as we were urged to “Go” by the Coordinator. And my Mom and I knew to take out time, we looked at one another and there were no words but I knew she was proud of how I got to that moment and would support me each step of the way. I will never forget feeling so supported. I adore the shot that captures us both just ‘glancing together.’ Then, we went for it.
Your brothers can be groomsmen, do a reading, give a toast or blessing at the reception. They can have such an awesome role in your day.
But no one can take the place of your Mom.
Good luck!

7/23/10 @ 5:59 pm (reply)

Member

sawicad (message) 12 posts, Newbee

In the last 3 years both my parents past away and so when it came to who would walk me down the aisle, I thought one of my brothers. Thus the problem, I have 3. I decided to have all of them walk me down the aisle in a relay fashion.

So, the youngest will walk me part way down and pass me to the middle brother. The younest will walk behind us. The middle brother will pass me to the oldest and the two youngest will walk behind us and then when we get to the alter, all three will give me away.

Perhaps something along these lines would work for you.

7/23/10 @ 5:59 pm (reply)

Guest

ColaJae

MOM!!! I have been a single mother….raised my two by myself from the time they were 1 and 3…they are now 24 and 26 and my daughter (the 26 YO) is getting married next year. Unless she wanted to walk alone, my feelings would be hurt if she didn’t ask me to walk with her……but I would have no problem if she wanted to walk on her own…..maybe….I hope I would! :o)

7/23/10 @ 6:01 pm (reply)

Member

jackie-o (message) 2,389 posts, Buzzing bee

Can your brothers walk you down half way - Meet your mom in the middle and she walks you to Mr Handy while your brothers follow?

7/23/10 @ 6:01 pm (reply)

Member

rachelss (message) 1,133 posts, Bumble bee

I’d have your mom walk you down the aisle and your brothers be “bridesmen”

7/23/10 @ 6:02 pm (reply)

10.

Guest

Christine

Oh I liked Jackie-O’s idea.

I was thinking that if you were doing “first dances” and what not, you could do half the dance with the older brother, and then switch out to the younger one about half way through. And then get walked down the aisle with your mom.

I had both my parents walk me down the aisle. My mom, from what I can tell, was really touched by the gesture.

7/23/10 @ 6:05 pm (reply)

11.

Guest

drewrose

As a MOB I vote for your brothers. It would give me great pleasure to see my children supporting each other at such an important moment in our lives. Have a mother/daughter dance and toast to honor your mother.

7/23/10 @ 6:09 pm (reply)

12.

Member

lobstergirl (message) 260 posts, Helper bee

That’s really hard. Having lost my mom, I would give anything in the world to have my mom walk me down the aisle. I know she was so excited to be the person that put my sister and her husband’s hands together, one into the other, at their wedding. I really like Christine’s suggestion. That would allow you to honor the hard work your mom put into raising you, and still allow her to see you and your brothers together on your big day. Let us know what you decide

7/23/10 @ 6:14 pm (reply)

13.

Member

French Fry (message) 48 posts, Newbee

I think that if you go by the definition you stated of who it is that walks one down the aisle, then it should definitely be your mom as she raised you and helped mold you to the person you are today! Either decision you make will be a wonderful way to walk down the aisle!

7/23/10 @ 6:15 pm (reply)

14.

Bee

Miss Starfish (message) 1,924 posts, Buzzing bee

could you have your brothers walk you half way and your mom walk you the rest? I’ve heard of brides with divorced parents do somehting similar.

7/23/10 @ 6:16 pm (reply)

15.

Member

Miss Sweet Tea (message) 289 posts, Helper bee

I like the brothers idea. Maybe you should talk to your mom though tell her the reasons you would want her and the reasons you would want your brother. See how she feels about either!

7/23/10 @ 6:16 pm (reply)

16.

Guest

Andria

I think I’ll be agreeing with many of the other posters….Mom. My mom walked my sister down the aisle, and she will be walking me down the aisle. For me, she was the person who most supported me, helped me, raised me, and loved me. However, I was my sister’s MOH and she will be mine, so I kind of had the best of both worlds.

7/23/10 @ 6:24 pm (reply)

17.

Member

mrspaetz (message) 3,805 posts, Honey bee

have your mom walk you down, but have your brothers involved, perhaps as readers, or have your brothers walk behind you and your mom?

7/23/10 @ 6:25 pm (reply)

18.

Bee

Mrs. Spaniel (message) 6,792 posts, Bee Keeper

MOM! I agree with the PP who suggested having your brothers as bridesmen.. mine were!

7/23/10 @ 6:30 pm (reply)

19.

Member

fromcharleston (message) 651 posts, Busy bee

I vote for mom. Honor the boys in a different way, but she raised you and I think she would be thrilled and over the moon in a way your brothers wouldn’t quite be.

7/23/10 @ 6:38 pm (reply)

20.

Member

babebabe06 (message) 846 posts, Busy bee

i am in the same spot i have 2 amazing brothers and 1 incredible mother. my mom moved across across states to keep us safe from my father. she left everything behind our nice house cars, pets everything!!! my mom raised 4 of us on her own working like crazy (shed had been a home makeer for 14 years prior, so finding a job was rough) my brothers sister and I were so close. but my mom will be walking me as she has taken on the role as being both mom and dad, sacrificing everything to keep me safe, and i think this would be the best way for me to say thank you to her!!!!!

7/23/10 @ 6:39 pm (reply)

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