Weddingbee Blog

This afternoon, I was browsing Dooce (LOVE HER) and I came across this post. In it, a guest blogger talks about a European vacation in which she and a friend meet what they call “a Janice” ––someone who is self-righteous, pompous, and a bit overly helpful. Here, she explains it better than I do:

“Everyone knows Janice. Janice is the volunteer hall monitor for the world. Don’t you know nothing would get done around here without Janice? The world owes Janice a favor without even realizing it, and Janice loves it that way.”

The post was hilarious and got me thinking about inside jokes and how they stick with you. It also has a link to this column that talks about the “language of marriage” and how we all form a sort of secret language with our spouse that no one else would ever understand. It claims that while candlelit dinners and bouquets of roses are great for romance, stuff like this is what marriage is really made of––personal moments that stick with you for a lifetime and remind you of something that you shared together.

Mr. Cardigan and I have several of these “secret phrases,” and they never fail to make us laugh or to remind us to be kind to one another. Our favorite is “It wasn’t on the list!” and we say it when one of us is being particularly defensive or ridiculous.

You see, I am generally the person who makes the grocery shopping lists, but we take turns actually going to the store. On the day of this particular story, it had been Mr. Cardy’s turn to go to the store, and he was a bit grumpy about it (among other things). He did the shopping, came home, and we unloaded it together. Later that night when I was cooking dinner, I realized that a crucial ingredient for that night’s meal was missing. “Dammit!” I exclaimed, “we don’t have any ___.” (I don’t even remember what it was anymore.)

Without skipping a beat, Mr. Cardigan yells (very defensively) from the living room “IT WASN’T ON THE LIST!!!!!!” as if to say “Not my fault! You screwed up!” Immediately I burst into laughter and pointed out to him how ridiculous he was being. I hadn’t blamed it on him. I didn’t say he forgot it. I just said we didn’t have it! That phrase has forever stuck with us as a reminder that maybe one of us is being a bit defensive and needs to calm down.

We have several other little secret phrases that we share, and I think that having these little inside jokes and phrases that no one else understands makes us feel closer together. They always remind us of a time that we bonded or a time that our relationship was tested (whether in a small way, like the one I shared above, or a much larger way), and they help us remember all that we’ve been through together.

I love knowing that I have the rest of my life to create more “secret phrases” with Mr. Cardigan! Do you have any? I’d love to hear about them!