Weddingbee Blog

Let me start by saying my two brothers are my entire world (besides future hubby, of course). We are a tripod and have been since the day my little brother was born. When I got engaged, I immediately imagined them both walking me down the aisle. Then reality set in, and I realized that might not be possible… tear… tear…

You see, both brothers are in the military. One is in the Army and the other is in the Marines. Deployments are a part of our everyday lives. We have become accustomed to worrying, tears, fear, pride, and support for our boys. When we get the phone call that Brother One or Brother Two has received his orders to be deployed, we just take a deep breath and pray. Pray that God will spare our loved ones and keep them safe.

In case you are not familiar with the military, let me explain. The Army has 15-month deployments. The Marines has seven to nine–month deployments. Typically they aren’t allowed to be deployed one year from when they return from a deployment. So say they get back in January, they aren’t allowed to be deployed until January of the next year. Both brothers just got back from their deployments in July of last year (2009). Brother Two (Marines) chose to switch units and be deployed again this year to ensure that he will be in the States come time for my wedding. Brother One (Army) is getting out of the military when his contract is over in September. So I should be totally stoked, right? Well this is where Good Ol’ Uncle Sam steps in…

Typically they get their orders 30–60 days prior to deployment. Big Bro Handy caught wind that his unit will be deploying again in September. Well, so what—he is getting out that month anyway, right? Correct. BUT if they do deploy in September, he will get his orders soon, when he is still under contract and he has to go. So if he leaves in September for a 15-month deployment, he wont be in the States for my wedding. (Holding back the tears.)

I bet you’re thinking, well how can they make him deploy when he is getting out? Its called Stop-Loss. (I am sure you’ve seen the movie.) In the military, your job comes first. Not family, not a personal life, not a social life, nothing but the red, white, and blue.

For a girl like me, who is completely attached to her brothers, this is the worst news you can hear. My wedding day is one of the biggest events in my life, and the very thought of my brothers not being able to share it with me literally makes me want to call the whole wedding off and postpone it until they are in the States. But that is the problem—with two brothers in the service, it’s nearly impossible to foresee the future and when they are able to take leave. Big Bro Handy has been in the Army for seven years and Lil Bro Handy has been in the military for three years. The last time all three of us were together was three years ago. That explains how hard it is to get them both home at the same time.

So everyday, I live with the thought that one or both of my brothers will be deployed for my wedding. There is nothing I can do, nothing I can say, no letter I can write that will get them both there. Praying is the only option I have.

Older brother by two years

Younger Brother by four years (could be twins, huh?)

Stay tuned for how all this turns out…

All the military brides out there… I don’t know what it’s like to marry the military, but I do know what it feels like to live in their world. Knowing that they belong to the government and their lives are so controlled can put a huge damper on your plans. Hang in there—things will work out, promise!