Weddingbee Blog

What follows might be the longest post I have ever written for Weddingbee. That’s because I don’t want to leave anything out. If you’re considering this resort for your honeymoon, I want you to have all the facts. (At least, the facts based on our experience.) I haven’t been paid or influenced to write this review of the resort. This is just ’how I saw it’.

You should note that there are a lot of minor little snafus mentioned in this post.

If you read it critically, you might even think we didn’t have a good time. But we did! We had a great time and would definitely go back to this resort again in the future. I would recommend this resort (and I’ll elaborate on that recommendation at the bottom of this post).

With that out of the way, let’s get started. (I have mentioned a few of these things before, so that’s why parts may sound a bit redundant.)

Check-In

A lot of the reviews on Trip Advisor and Facebook scared me. Several people complained about arriving at the hotel and being told their room wasn’t ready, given a lesser room, and/or even being moved to an entirely different resort! I did not want this to happen to us, so I made sure to contact the resort via both email and phone the day before we arrived. I also printed all of my written correspondences, receipts and any papers related to our trip/package and brought them with me in my carry-on suitcase. I was determined that they were not going to be able to argue.

We walked in to the hotel, sat down in comfy chairs, and drank champagne while a very pleasant woman named Moya checked us in. (Moya turned out to be very helpful on several occasions during our stay, actually.)

After being given our room keys, our bellman took us up to our fabulous Master Suite.

I should point out that we did notice several other couples having difficulty getting their rooms. I swear, every time we went through the lobby someone was arguing with the desk clerk over a reservation they’d made. One time I walked past a woman who was waving a champagne glass around and screaming at the concierge that they’d been waiting for several hours, and kept being told their room wasn’t ready. Each time this happened, I was even more glad I’d taken the extra steps to confirm and confirm again prior to our arrival!

The Room

Now, the room. It was completely awesome. The Master Suite has two rooms and a large bathroom/closet area. There is a jetted two-person tub inside, and another jetted two+ person tub on the porch.

The bed was a King, which was firm and very comfortable. The pillows were foam though, and very stiff. There were two large flat-panel televisions in the room. We didn’t watch a lot of TV, but it seemed like there were a lot of channels. The wireless Internet (free for Preferred Club members) was decent too (though it was spotty during thunderstorms). The mini-bar (also free in the P.C.) contained Coke, Diet Coke, Sprite, orange soda, Red Stripe, and bottled water. Occasionally they would leave us little bottles of Rum (Appleton Estate) or Vodka (Absolut), or sacks of banana chips, too.

The safe in the room was juuuuust wide enough for my 15.4″ Macbook Pro. We were also able to cram our two dSLRs in there and an extra lens, as well as our passports, extra cash and other small valuables. It was easy to use and we never had any trouble with it.

The safe was located in the closet of the room, next to an umbrella (which also proved very useful a few times). There were umbrella cans located throughout the resort too: convenient for the sudden rain showers we experienced many afternoons.

In the bathroom, there was a two-person rain shower. The shower smelled a little mildewy inside, and did not drain particularly well. (Taking a 10-minute shower left you standing in a 1″-deep puddle of water.) We did not call maintenance about this, so it could have been a simple issue with only our room.

But speaking of water flowing: the toilets at the resort were ultra low-flush. That is: if you flushed it one time, you’d need to wait 10-15 minutes to flush it again. I’m all for water-conservation, but this was a borderline non-functional toilet. The toilet was in a little closet-type room. The hotel provided us with tons of amenities in the room including a comb, shaving cream, sunscreen, a toothbrush and toothpaste, and all the ’usual’ toiletries you would expect to find in a nice hotel room.

Most of the resort’s rooms’ balconies span one “section” of the hotel; the Master Suite balconies span two sections. In addition to the tub, the balcony also contained four chairs and a little table. There was a light on our balcony, but it never worked. There were also candles next to our outdoor tub but no matches were provided, and neither the front desk, gift shop or tobacco shop had any. (They had lighters you could buy.)

The room also had a privacy light (in lieu of a ’Do Not Disturb’ door-hanger). Some staff were observant of the light; others weren’t. (I’ll get to that under housekeeping.)

The Overall Hotel (Wild Orchid, Preferred Club-specific)

The Preferred Club kept snacks and beverages (coffee & tea in the morning; bar in the afternoon) in the lobby all day. There was always a staff member present to help you with the food and drinks.

The materials and look of the hotel was very luxurious… if you didn’t look too closely. This hotel seems to have been built in a hurry and the crew did a pretty poor job with the details. A few examples of this:

• Trim-work was sloppily painted and/or spackled.
• Light and outlet-holes were unevenly or crookedly cut in many places.
• Some furniture (like the bed) was apparently installed before painting, so the furniture had paint-smudges/drips on it

None of this was a big deal. If this was a house, I wouldn’t buy it. But for a resort, it wasn’t a problem. There were also no screens on the windows or patio doors. We had our air-conditioning on in the room anyway, but some people might wish to open their doors or windows (and all the bugs would fly in).

If I were to go back to this hotel (and I would without hesitation - it was a great place), I would definitely not book a ground-floor room. The corridors are open-air, and for some reason the walkways seemed to be banked toward the rooms in many places. (I wonder if this was another result of hasty and inattentive craftsmanship.) Each day, the rain would pour and we would see towels appear on the ground outside all of the ground floor rooms. People were trying to block water from seeping in. Of course, the staff were quick to mop and clean up the mess. But there was really nothing they could do during the rainstorms (which were pretty heavy and lasted a while at times).

I also recommend confirming which side of the hotel your room is on. Most of the rooms are ocean front, but there are 8 or 12 rooms on the end of the Wild Orchid Preferred Club building that face the restaurants, bars and concert-area rather than the beach. When live concerts were going on, I could not imagine being in one of those rooms (unless you would like to sit on your balcony and enjoy the music, which wouldn’t be so bad either!). But if you would rather have the peace and quiet, avoid those “Promenade-facing’ rooms. The shows were loud enough in our room, which was across the hall and facing the other way!

The only other thing I feel I should mention is the slight odor. There was a distinct, stuffy, fishy, mildewy smell in the hallways, elevator and stairwells. Sometimes it was worse than others (depending on the humidity). I suppose it’d be difficult to avoid with so much ocean water, humidity and rain. It wasn’t too bothersome, and our room didn’t smell.

The whole complex is quite large, with two smaller buildings (the preferred clubs) and two larger ones (the main hotels). If you want to be close to the restaurants and concerts, stay at the Wild Orchid. If you’d rather be close to the spa and fitness center, stay at the St. James. If we were to go back, I’d probably book at St. James (preferred club, of course!) Because it was so far from the night-life action.

Wild Orchid’s Preferred Club is on the right side, with the main Wild Orchid building on the far left. The St. James resort buildings, spa, and fitness center were further down the beach (off camera-left).

Do note that you will need mosquito spray if you plan to be outside after sundown. The bugs weren’t terrible (the resort sprays for them every day), but they were definitely noticeable (and bitey!) when we didn’t wear bug spray. We did not see much “wildlife” at the resort. I expected to see more lizards and things of that sort, but we actually only saw one (and it was very small). Occasionally, we would see a feral cat or two dart in between a couple of bushes or chairs (and that was only if we were out walking after dark). One day, I saw two really big (at least a foot in diameter) crabs on the rocks just outside the swimming area. But other than those and some docile aquatic life, there wasn’t much animal or pest action.

A very, very small crab we found scuttling around at dusk.

The Staff

Everyone we encountered was very friendly and helpful. People would greet us regularly, ask us about our stay, and make sure we were comfortable. When we went to a restaurant more than once, the staff seemed to remember our faces. Very, very nice people.

Some of the things they said were a little corny or overdone, however. I don’t know if this is exclusive to our resort in particular, or if all of the Secrets Resorts use this phrase. But every time we thanked any staff at the resort, they would respond with “It’s My Pleasure.” Most were very good at saying it genuinely, while a few others were skilled at making this cordial phrase sound like “Go F*&% Yourself”. By the third or fourth day, I had heard “It’s My Pleasure” so many times, it was almost funny.

If you asked them how their day was going, many of them would reply with something like “It’s much better since you are here with us!” Cute I guess, but cheesy!

Speaking of slogans, the slogans we saw on souvenirs in Jamaica were things like “No Worries” and “No Problem”. We did notice that our building’s staff had this attitude, which unfortunately sometimes translated into things taking much longer than expected. There were occasions when we had to request things to be sent to the room several times. I had to inquire about our Eternity Honeymoon package 6 or 7 times before we finally received the welcome letter (on day 7 or 8 of our 10-day stay!). Even with the slowness of the letter’s arrival though, the helpful staff did let us reserve our candlelight dinner and massage. (So, “no worries!”)

Housekeeping

The housekeeping and service staff are very thorough. So thorough, in fact, that we felt like our room was constantly being serviced! I found out that the service hours are as follows:

8 am to 5 PM: Housekeeping

5 PM to 10 PM: Turndown service

I’m pretty sure the mini-bar person (which is separate from housekeeping) could come any time during the day. And there was also a different person who came and vacuumed (the maid swept and mopped). This made it inconvenient for us to spend much time in our room (as they wouldn’t clean it when you’re in there, and if they did it’d just be weird). The times they came to the room weren’t very consistent, so we never knew when we’d return expecting to change or read on our balcony, only to discover our room being serviced. One day, we were in the room and therefore missed the mini-bar serviceman. And none of the staff at the phone numbers we called could tell us how to get him back (or where we could get any more bottles of water).

We believe the turndown service was a part of our honeymoon package. Each night this gal would come in to the room, turn down our bed and give us the resort’s entertainment schedule for the next day. She’d also turn the TV on to the weather channel, and fold a towel into a bird-shape. If we were already in the room (we usually were, because we go to bed early), she would sometimes knock and seemed to be slightly annoyed that we were there. One time, she had me sign a release stating that I didn’t want the service.

Additionally, they leave the door to the room open while they’re in there (and the corridors are open-air). This means mosquitoes in your room, even if you’ve worked hard to kill them all the night before. Each day I estimate our room door was open for at least 2 hours while staff were in-and-out. And each night, we had to hunt down and kill a dozen or more mosquitoes. Bring a fly swatter for this purpose (the ceilings are high!).

The only really unpleasant staff experience we encountered was with the ’artist’. (And she wasn’t actually employed by the hotel.) Since it’s a new hotel, I guess they’re still trying to figure out the design of the rooms. Every few days it seemed like we had new lamps or vases, new paintings, or someone had moved the furniture and decor pieces around in the room. Oooookay. That’s not the unpleasant part though. One morning we were getting dressed for breakfast (it was about 9:30 am) and I heard our room’s door open. Our “Do Not Disturb” light was on too. WTF? I was dressed, but Mr. MJ wasn’t so I hurried to the entry to see what was up. There was a lady standing there (*inside* the door, not out in the hall) saying she needed to look in the room. She identified herself as an artist and said the concierge had given her a room key and permission to look at this type of room and how her designs might work.

I said we were just getting up and out of bed (my polite way of saying “go away”), and she practically pushed past me and said “It’ll only take a few minutes!” At which point I blocked her and suggested she could look at a different room or come back later. I also pointed out the Do Not Disturb light, to which she replied that she isn’t hotel staff so she doesn’t notice things such as that. Hahaha. She then asked me exactly WHEN we would be leaving the room (how many minutes?) and when she could come back. Nice. Like I said, she wasn’t staff. But I think the staff should have used better judgment in regards to whether random people should be allowed to wander around in the resort early in the morning with master room keys and no staff-guide.

So that was a little weird. We never felt fully comfortable just hanging out in our room during the day because there were so many *other* people who needed (or wanted) to be in there. While the artist lady was for sure a fluke, I think the resort needs to streamline its staffing a little more to allow the guests more time to enjoy their accommodations. The beach is great and all, but when I book a fancy-ass room like that I *do* intend on relaxing in it.

The Beach

The resort wasn’t very crowded, and that definitely contributed to our enjoyment of the beach. It was a beautiful beach, and we could see the signs of how they’re working to improve it more. (For example, rain kept washing away portions of sand, and there were workmen there trying to shore up these areas to prevent future issues.) The roped off swimming areas were mostly clean of sharp rocks and other obstacles. We never went in the pools (too busy in the ocean!) but they looked clean and cool. The resort provides mats for floating around in the pools, but people don’t take those in the ocean. I wished I had packed a cheap blow-up raft for ocean use, as I noticed many other people had done.

You will want flip-flops for walking on this beach. I have pretty tough feet, but there were a lot of sharp little shells and things. There were also (unfortunately) some cigarette butts around from inconsiderate guests who were too lazy to use one of the ash-trays provided by the hotel. (So yes: they allow smoking on the beach. That was annoying for us as non-smokers, but again: the resort wasn’t crowded so it wasn’t a huge deal.)

You can choose to lounge by the pools or the ocean (or between the two). You can also choose from padded chairs with solid umbrellas, or wicker chairs with palm-frond umbrellas. The hotel provides tons of big fluffy towels for beach use, too.

There was also drink service on the beaches for Preferred Club members. I believe this was a trade-off: there was no swim-up bar area in the Preferred Club, whereas there were swim-up bars located in both of the main hotel pools.

Drink service was not lightning-fast, but you have to consider the fact that the waitresses have to take each person’s order, pick up empty cups, go back to the bar, and mix 10+ drinks (some of which are probably blended), then they need to walk back and deliver the drinks. Generally when we ordered a drink, it took between 15 minutes and a half-hour to receive it. We were sitting at the absolute farthest location from the bar, too, so the time-line was understandable. If we wanted faster service the bar was only a couple of minutes’ walk down the beach.

The Restaurants & Food

Restaurants are such a subjective thing. Everyone likes different types of food! But from the standpoint of two American mid-westerners who tend to stick with ’plain’ foods (but aren’t afraid of a decent amount of spiciness), everything was overall very good. We only ate at one of the restaurants twice: Blue Mountain (Jamaican). The food was excellent the first time, but just OK the second. (Namely, the jerk chicken was very dry and under-seasoned compared to the first time we’d ordered it.)

The menus at each restaurant contained anywhere from four to ten main dishes and a handful each of appetizers, salads/soups, and desserts. Portions were not large: I was able to eat an appetizer, salad, dinner and dessert without feeling stuffed. (This is pretty much impossible at most American restaurants!)

For our candlelight dinner, we were given three menus to choose from (ahead of time). Both of us had to choose the same selections, which was a little odd. The food we chose (the chicken option) was very good though and was delivered beautifully prepared and hot by our personal server, Michael. The candlelight dinner was a very nice experience.

Bars

There were a lot of places throughout the resort where you could get drinks (alcoholic or non), and you were pretty much allowed to go wherever you wanted with these drinks. (You could take your drink from the beach to dinner, take your drink from lunch to the bar, take your drink from dinner to the room, etc.)

We did notice that we generally did not get the same drink twice. That is, different bartenders made the ’same’ drink in various ways — sometimes with entirely different types of liquor! We also found that if we ordered something and they were out of it, they would automatically bring something else (rather than asking you for an alternate selection). Usually this was fine, but sometimes the alternate selection wasn’t something we wanted. “No worries” though - it’s all included, so it’s not as if we paid for each drink separately!

Another reason I’d consider the St. James resort instead of Wild Orchid for my next visit: The bars on St. James side seemed to have more selection than bars at Wild Orchid. That is, bars at Wild Orchid (Barracuda, Marlin) were often out of key ingredients of the popular drinks. But if we walked over to the Seaside (at St. James) for lunch, we could get the drink there. I found it odd that the bars didn’t share supplies, but made note that St. James usually had more selection at their ’Sugar Reef’ bar.

One last note about the drink services. This might go without saying, but be sure to drink water!

The first few days, I drank far too many sugary rum-loaded beverages, and I was definitely dehydrated and overheated by the sun. Water is a necessity! The resort uses bottled, filtered water (even in the glasses they pour for you), so you don’t need to worry about getting sick from it. (And several staff members told me that Jamaica’s tap water is clean and safe, though we did not have any ourselves.)

The Spa

The spa (and the hydrotherapy circuit within it) were very nice. I honestly think the spa was one of the nicest buildings on the resort. (It had a lot of the craftsmanship and attention-to-detail many of the other buildings lacked.) The aromatherapy steam room was awesome, the sauna heavenly. I didn’t think the hot-tub was necessarily very hot, but the plunge pool was definitely cold!!

I very much enjoyed the two body wraps I got, and my hot-stone massage was nice too. After being home for over 2 weeks, the pedicure I got there is still chip-free and vibrant.

A few things to note are that the check-in process takes a very long time. It seemed to take at least 15 minutes to assist each inquiring guest, and only one or two staff were available to do this. (And generally, if two were present, one seemed to be seniority, or training the other.) Services are non-refundable too, so if you change your mind (or get sunburned and no longer want that Body Polish you paid for), you will have to make an exchange or lose your money.

The hilarious thing is that not a single person at the spa seemed to have the authority to actually make those changes in the computer. (I may be exaggerating, but this was my observation.) Even a week after we changed some service reservations, they were still confused about which services we were getting and when because only the ’manager’ or someone of that sort could actually modify the computer scheduling system. (The staff were only able to make ’notes’ on it.)

This is probably the reason the spa check-in and front-desk services took so long: perhaps none of the staff had the rights to actually modify anything, so instead they had to read a hundred little notes to determine when times were available? Either way, it was confusing for everyone involved and I can see why some guests were becoming frustrated and raising their voices while dealing with the scheduling or check-in process. We got the services we wanted though: we just had to be very patient and explain everything about half a dozen times.

Overall

I am very happy we went to this resort. We have never been to a tropical island or and all-inclusive resort before, and we have no idea when we’ll be able to take a vacation like this again. This honeymoon trip was amazing and we’ll remember it forever. The friendly staff and comfortable layout of this resort made it a very pleasant place. We spent 9 nights and 10 days on the resort, and never once felt that we had made a mistake in choosing our location. Yes, my review contains a lot of critical little notes. But none of them are major and most of them are related to organizational issues which I’m sure will fade as the hotel is open longer.

We were there during the off-season (summer), so it was not too crowded. This meant lots of empty chairs, no waiting for dinners, and an overall quiet, relaxing experience. There were still some loud, inconsiderate guests staying near us, but I suppose you never really can escape all noise and inconsiderate behavior (unless you have the dough to buy your own island!!).

On a Scale of 1-10, I’d give this resort an 8.5. It’s a nice, friendly and luxurious atmosphere with very friendly staff. We never once felt unsafe. There were no armed guards at the gates (as I’ve heard about other resorts), and none were necessary. We ventured off the resort on bicycles and did not feel unsafe then either. It is comfortable and quite laid back. (Although, this means you may need to be patient and/or ask more than once if you need something taken care of.) I would not hesitate to stay there again if we were looking for a relaxing vacation (and if there weren’t so many other great places in the Caribbean and the world to explore!).

For those of you going there for your honeymoons, don’t worry! You will have a wonderful time! Just be sure to confirm your stay (and your honeymoon package) in WRITING before you go, follow my packing tips, and arrive ready to relax.

If you’re interested in reading about our honeymoon in a much more in-depth way, I’m also slowly recapping it on my personal blog.