When Life Poops on Your Head…

When Life Poops on Your Head…

July 30th, 2010 @ 9:20 am by Mrs. Locket
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… do your best to forget about what’s wrong and hope for a better tomorrow.

That’s exactly what I keep telling myself to do. I’ve also paired it with this mantra:

BREATHE. DON’T WORRY. I’M IN LOVE AND THAT’S ALL THAT MATTERS!

What’s wrong? Well, it’s a very long and frustrating and somewhat personal story and I don’t quite want to get into all the details, but I will tell you bits and pieces.

A few months ago there had been a huge dent placed in our wedding planning bubble. I’d been trapped in this mindset that everything is fine and that nothing bad could possibly happen to ruin our big day, but I WAS WRONG. Things had been pretty heated in my family’s household and my father and older brother had been at extreme odds and butting heads. Finally, things escalated between the two of them and there is now a question of whether or not my father will continue to stay in this country (he is from Peru and this incident was the final straw in my parents’ relationship… they now plan to separate). I am disappointed that they couldn’t work out their differences, but knew it would be coming to this sooner or later (I had just been hoping for the later). With this development there is also the question of whether or not he still plans to attend the wedding and whether he still plans to help pay.

I know it seems like a selfish thing to think of when my family is going through such turmoil, but it’s something I really need to know. We chose to have my father help pay for the wedding because it was what he wanted to do. We had every intention of having a long engagement so that we could save enough to pay for the event ourselves, but my father didn’t want us to wait so we went ahead with the plans (and haven’t saved enough on our own). Now with all necessary deposits made, I don’t know if we can afford this wedding anymore.

I’ve talked with my mother about it and she assured me not to worry and that she would find a way to make up the difference. I don’t want to worry, but know that she will have a very hard time paying for things. I don’t want to add another stress to my family and have thought about the real possibility that our wedding might not happen as planned. I am not making any rash decisions as of yet because I was told to hold off on even thinking about that. But, how can I not think about it?

It’s a tough time, but I am doing my best to ignore it for now and continue on in planning (because that’s what momma says to do). Also, I will try to think of ways to earn extra $$ and try to see if any of our vendors would be willing to work on some sort of payment plan.

In the meantime, I am trying not to stress and trying to stay true to my mantra.

Okay, now repeat after me:

BREATHE. DON’T WORRY. I’M IN LOVE AND THAT’S ALL THAT MATTERS!

Have you run into any wedding roadblocks?

Tags: emotional, ithaca |

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25 Responses to “When Life Poops on Your Head…”

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Bee

Miss Knitting (message) 1,072 posts, Bumble bee

I’m so sorry your family is going through such a tough situation. I really hope it all works out in the end.

7/30/10 @ 9:32 am (reply)

Member

msmarathon (message) 163 posts, Blushing bee

YES! Family issues have been attempting to rain on our wedding parade since the day we got engaged. Don’t get me wrong, everyone wants us to get married, but internal problems that seemed small become magnified by the stress of a wedding. Hang in there.

LOVE the bird poop pic by the way…hahaha.

7/30/10 @ 9:35 am (reply)

Member

misschristinec@hotmail.com (message) 163 posts, Blushing bee

Sorry Miss Locket. You are not being selfish, but concerned. I do wish you and your family all the best.. The hive is here for you to vent away!

7/30/10 @ 9:36 am (reply)

Member

hilsy85 (message) 3,680 posts, Sugar bee

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Both my FI and I have gone through times during wedding planning when our respective sets of parents have stated they are not coming to the wedding. It’s hurtful because it’s not JUST a wedding–it’s a celebration of you and your partner, and of your love, and to have someone say they’re not coming (especially a parent!) feels like such a rejection to me. But hang in there–it appears (fingers crossed) everything has worked out for our families and I’m sure it will for you as well!

7/30/10 @ 9:38 am (reply)

Bee

Miss Glasses (message) 2,741 posts, Sugar bee

So sorry to hear about your parents and your newly acquired struggles. It sounds like you’ve got a pretty good head on your shoulders. I hope that you can work something out with your vendors or find some way to trim your budget. *HIVE HUG*

7/30/10 @ 9:40 am (reply)

Member

clane616 (message) 674 posts, Busy bee

Sorry to hear you’re going through that!! My roadblock has been my fiance’s employment status (or lack thereof). The economy sucks. I hope things get figured out so at least you know one way or another what’s going to happen!!

7/30/10 @ 9:41 am (reply)

Bee

Miss Cardigan (message) 8,645 posts, Bee Keeper

So sorry to hear you’re going through all of this! I hope it all works out in the end!

7/30/10 @ 9:53 am (reply)

Member

futurediplomatswife (message) 524 posts, Busy bee

Oh, how awful! I’m so sorry.

7/30/10 @ 10:16 am (reply)

Member

TheFutureMcBride (message) 4,461 posts, Honey bee

So sorry! I wish I could stop planning and help you, so if you need something after August 15, let me know.

7/30/10 @ 10:17 am (reply)

10.

Member

MsJeep23 (message) 1,375 posts, Bumble bee

This sounds like a tough situation and I’m so sorry you have to be going through that! It’s not selfish at all to worry and to wonder how everything with your parents will work out with the wedding–weddings have so much to do with families and sometimes they really do bring alot of drama to the surface. My parents had a later-in-marriage, bitter divorce that I am sure will cause anxiety as the wedding approaches. It is hard to deal with parents breaking up/separating no matter how old you are. *hugs*

7/30/10 @ 10:30 am (reply)

11.

Member

jmquintanilla (message) 104 posts, Blushing bee

Oh I’m so sorry your family is going through all of this. Just stay strong and see how it all goes. I hope it all works out!

7/30/10 @ 10:48 am (reply)

12.

Member

jgoulart (message) 1,069 posts, Bumble bee

I’ll be thinking of you Locket… family kinks are so hard to work through. You’ll make it!

7/30/10 @ 10:56 am (reply)

13.

Bee

Miss Husky (message) 1,754 posts, Buzzing bee

I’m so sorry for all of the turmoil! I think family problems are stressful enough on their own, then tack on planning a wedding, and even then tack on a money issue….I’m sure it’s exhausting. But I like your mantra - because, ultimately, that’s all that really matters.

7/30/10 @ 10:59 am (reply)

14.

Member

MissMichele (message) 134 posts, Blushing bee

My friend Ben was supposed to play at our wedding. When I found out in January that he had overdosed on drugs, my heard broke. The next thought that followed was, “Oh my god, what are we going to do about the wedding? We have already budgeted for Ben, and will never get anyone else to play that cheap.” It pains me sometimes that I thought that way, but I just remind myself that it really was something that I had to figure out. I’m sorry that you are going through so much. Keep moving forward, and it will all work itself out!

7/30/10 @ 11:03 am (reply)

15.

Member

jordynrose (message) 6,351 posts, Bee Keeper

I am sorry to hear about this Miss L. Hopefully your family will be able to resolve their differences and hopefully the finances will work out.

7/30/10 @ 11:44 am (reply)

16.

Member

nighsparrow (message) 44 posts, Newbee

Wow, that sounds super stressful! There are probably a lot of little things you can cut and not even miss–the important thing is the two of you getting married, of course! In terms of coming up with extra money for the big stuff you’ve already committed to, you might see what you could sell on Ebay, Craigslist, Amazon.com, etc. Or try a family garage sale, to see how much you can pull together that way. Just keep at it, I’m sure you’ll find a way to make it work.

7/30/10 @ 11:47 am (reply)

17.

Member

RachelR719 (message) 22 posts, Newbee

I’m in a similar boat. My parents divorced last year after 36 years of marriage. It was a really tough time for our family. I was still trying to have a healthy relationship with my mom and dad. Even though my dad was clearly the one more at fault. He assured me he was going to help pay for the wedding so we weren’t stuck with the burden. Well three months later we are no longer speaking. His actions and words left me no choice but to cut him out of my life. So my mom says she will help pay. But she doesn’t have easily disposable funds. So I told her no it’s ok. We decided to get married at the courthouse and have a reception to celebrate. We’ve saved a lot of money. And things are looking up money wise now.

7/30/10 @ 12:41 pm (reply)

18.

Guest

Just in Case… | Weddingbee

[...] a wedding, but it might not be the wedding we had envisioned. I’ve come to accept the fact that my father might not won’t be able to help us pay for the wedding and that my mother probably won’t be able to make up the difference. In that event (as soon as we [...]

7/30/10 @ 2:15 pm (reply)

19.

Bee

Miss Elephant (message) 6,177 posts, Bee Keeper

I’m so sorry that your family is going through the situation that it is. I hope that everything works out for the best.

7/30/10 @ 3:06 pm (reply)

20.

Member

OctPumpkin (message) 593 posts, Busy bee

This really bites, Ms. L. Mom is right - stay strong and carry on. Family issues are always stressful and adding a wedding on top only makes it doubly so! But as they say, out of adversity comes greatness - I’m sure you’ll find a way to make your wedding just as fabulous at a lower cost.

7/30/10 @ 4:42 pm (reply)

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