Collaboration Slows Down Progress

Collaboration Slows Down Progress

July 30th, 2010 @ 5:08 pm by Mrs. Hot Wings
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*personal photo*

The Hot Wings’ ceremony is making its way toward the finish line. The process has been difficult. We originally started with discussion. I followed by scouring the internet for possible readings and ways to saying things. I emailed these to Mr. Hot wings. He worked on it and emailed it back. It wasn’t feeling as collaborated as I had hoped.

The problem was that we were working on our wedding ceremony as if it were an academic manuscript. We were wordsmithing the crap out of it. At some point, I started wondering who the first author was and who the second was. (Dorky, isn’t it?) So, we decided to get together and make it more of a collaboration.

You’ll notice in the above picture that Mr. Hot Wings has his laptop hooked up to the TV and is sitting on the coffee table. Sure, we could have just sat on the couch with the laptop in his lap, but there would be problems with screen angles and such. So, putting it on the big screen made it easy for both of us to see what was going on.

I have to admit, it was difficult to write our ceremony. Maybe the most important things are always the most difficult. Or, maybe writing is just difficult in general. In theory, collaboration in ceremony writing sounds perfect. In practice, it hasn’t seemed so perfect. It’s difficult to think what to write next when your partner’s head is thinking faster than yours, or when you want to look back at an earlier section and your partner has already moved on to a later section. Anyone who has had to work in a group to reach one goal can likely attest to the difficulty of working in a group and the tedious nature of having to agree on the smallest of details before moving on. When you work alone, you typically don’t have to decide on stylistic details. You just write what you feel sounds best and move on.

After a good hour of sitting in front of our laptop-TV set-up, we still couldn’t finalize our ceremony. We progressed, but we definitely did not finish. I think the process has been nice, but the slow progress is frustrating the heck out of me.

Have you had trouble writing your ceremony? What strategies have you used to complete the task?

Tags: ceremony, relationships, san diego, vows |

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10 Responses to “Collaboration Slows Down Progress”

Member

Gilneas (message) 1,393 posts, Bumble bee

As a pro wedding officiant, I can tell you that writing wedding ceremonies is much harder than most people think it is. But it is worth the time and effort to, in the end, have a really personalized wedding ceremony is worth it.

7/30/10 @ 5:26 pm (reply)

Member

773 miles away (message) 10 posts, Newbee

semi-unrelated… how did you hookup the laptop to the TV?? I love this!

I am having a full catholic mass for our ceremony, so luckily we don’t have to do as much work in regards to the ceremony.

It’s good to see how much effort is going into it though, i’m sure you’ll be thankful for all your hard work will pay off beautifully!

7/30/10 @ 5:44 pm (reply)

Member

mak418 (message) 693 posts, Busy bee

I wrote our ceremony. We met with our officiant, who told us what needed to be included, and gave us some samples. (like, first thing being a welcome to the people. Choose A or B from this list, or do research for one you like better.)

My husband had veto power, but really liked what I came up with. I tried to make it very us, and succeeded, I think.

7/30/10 @ 5:48 pm (reply)

Member

mrspaetz (message) 3,805 posts, Honey bee

we picked readings and rituals we both liked and then designed a ceremony around it! keep going, Hottie! you’re almost done!!

7/30/10 @ 5:59 pm (reply)

Member

arenyth (message) 1,484 posts, Bumble bee

At least your FI cared! I brought up some fun things to include in the ceremony and mine was like “whatever, why can’t we just do whatever they say?” I forget that boys don’t realize how much work it takes to make something personal.

7/30/10 @ 6:23 pm (reply)

Bee

Mrs. Hamster (message) 4,046 posts, Honey bee

We definitely left this part to the pros (our officiant)!

7/30/10 @ 8:48 pm (reply)

Bee

Miss Glasses (message) 2,741 posts, Sugar bee

I think this will be one of the hardest parts for us because it’s the part we care most about! Ganbatte! (in Japanese, these means “Try your best!”)

7/30/10 @ 9:22 pm (reply)

Bee

Miss Socks (message) 1,323 posts, Bumble bee

Ugh, YES! It’s SO difficult to write the ceremony. I have to admit though…Cherry Pie has been such an inspiration to me when it comes to our ceremony…it’s just so beautiful and fitting for us, so we’ll probably borrow quite a bit from her. Good luck, I know you guys will finish and it’ll be perfect!

7/30/10 @ 11:33 pm (reply)

Member

miss oasome (message) 73 posts, Worker bee

yes!!… writing the ceremony is definitely hard! I knew immediately after getting engaged that I wanted to do all the readings from children’s books (i’m a 2nd grade teacher) but we’re having a hard time with the other parts… i think we’re almost ready to go over it with our officiant, and then i’m sure we’ll have to make some more changes.

7/31/10 @ 9:06 am (reply)

10.

Member

fancysarah (message) 27 posts, Newbee

Oh, Miss Oasome I would love to find out what books your using if you want to share?

8/2/10 @ 1:28 pm (reply)