Weddingbee Blog

When I thought about how I wanted my bridesmaids to look, I was inspired by the growing number of brides who let their ladies choose their own dress. It seemed to begin with everyone wearing the same fabric, with each maid choosing their most flattering cut:

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The trend seemed to evolve into the bridesmaids choosing not only the cut, but the shade as well – all of them belonging to the same color family, like these stylish ladies:

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I’m also loving the neutral palette here:

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And then I started seeing a small handful of weddings where the bridesmaids were in completely different dresses, cut from completely different fabrics. Most often these seemed to fit within the color palette of the wedding:

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So I decided my ladies would wear the dress of their choosing, the length, fabric and color completely up to them, with very few requirements:

• It needed to fit within our “color palette” – meaning, any naturally occurring color in autumn – with one exception: no purple. I don’t know why, I’m just not crazy about it. If one of my bridesmaids had really wanted a dress in a deep plum, I probably could have reconsidered.
• My preference was for solid colors. I was afraid patterned dresses might look too busy in combination with the variety of colors. But again, I promised I would take it into consideration if one of my ladies found a pattern she loved.
• I needed to approve it before purchase. There was almost nothing I would have said no to, but I wanted to have the final say in whether or not it was appropriate.

Some people who found out thought I was crazy, and tried to talk me out of it. I commissioned a necklace through Etsy‘s alchemy process, and one of the bidders swore it would ruin my wedding by taking the attention off of me. She tried to convince me that it was MY day, and I had every right to tell my most trusted and respected friends exactly how to look. But my mind was made up. Why?

• Each person I have asked to stand with me are my closest friends in the world. Each of them also has a completely different style and personality. I have a strong belief that much of a woman’s personality is expressed through her style, and I wanted each of them to have their own personality represented – not mine.
• Several years back, I was a member of the wedding party, and I was dressed in one of the most hideous dresses I had ever seen. It was also the most expensive article of clothing I owned at the time. The bride, like many before and after, swore I could find more opportunities to wear the dress again. But there was no way I would ever again wear the love-handle pinching, chest-flattening dress cut from what appeared to be my grandmother’s curtains. I found myself feeling bitterness toward the bride for requiring my to spend so much money on a dress that I would wear for a single day, for her single day, while I would never spend so much on myself! Until my own wedding day, that is…
• Two of my bridesmaids are students. Another one works part-time in a coffee shop. I have one more who is preparing to leave for a tour in the Peace Corps just one month after our wedding. In letting them choose their own dress, they have the option to spend however much or however little they would like.

What will your bridesmaids be wearing? How did you decide what to ask them to wear? Did anyone question your decision?