Who Comes First?

Who Comes First?

August 4th, 2010 @ 4:34 pm by Mrs. Pin Cushion
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Me or him? Mr. or Mrs. Pin Cushion? It seems like most of our guests think Mr. Pin Cushion.

I’m talking about names here, dear readers. It seems that when it comes to our names, our wedding guests think that Mr. Pin Cushion’s first name should come before mine. Since anonymity is not my strong suit (as evidenced by my lack of blurring in my invitation post), I’ll just come out with our names: Chris and Kendra. (See? Even I say his name first. Sheesh.)

Since our engagement, Mr. Pin Cushion and I have received piles of lovely cards and well wishes. And it is undeniable that people write Chris’ name before mine about 80% of the time.

See? A random sampling of cards. My name first on the left and his name first on the right

Out of pure curiosity, do people say your name or your fiance’s name first? Do you think name order has to do with gender? Or how the names sound when they are said together? Or are you just busy thinking about how much of an over analyzer Mrs. Pin Cushion is?

Tags: etiquette, oakland |

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72 Responses to “Who Comes First?”

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Member

may2011bride (message) 79 posts, Worker bee

It is my natural reaction to write my name first, but I always make an effort to put my fiance’s name first. I don’t know why. It just seems like his name should come first.

8/4/10 @ 4:48 pm (reply)

Guest

Allyn

I think that because my name in two syllables and Chris’s is one, his gets put first.

8/4/10 @ 4:48 pm (reply)

Member

spellbound (message) 81 posts, Worker bee

haha strangely enough I think about this too! I think it definitely has to do with how the names sound together, because in a former relationship it was myname, hisname, and now it’s hisname, myname!

8/4/10 @ 4:49 pm (reply)

Bee

Miss Socks (message) 1,323 posts, Bumble bee

haha I always put Mr. Socks’ name before mine–it just sounds better! I even did it on our invites even though that’s not technically the way it’s usually done!

8/4/10 @ 4:50 pm (reply)

Guest

srh

I don’t know that it’s necessarily an issue of his name preceeding yours because the man comes first. In this case you’ve got kendra which ends in an a preceeding a word that stars with an a (and) this is not as easy a transition as his name which ends in an s preceeding the a. If you say it out loud the s sort of slurs into the a making for an easier (less halting) phrase. I understand that they’re not saying it, they’re writing it on letters addressed to the two of you, but it’s possible they’re addressing them they way they’re saying them in their head. Sorry this ended up so long and convoluted, that’s just my thought process on names that end in a vowel sound (perhaps rationalization for my fiance’s name coming first when both our names are used together :)).

8/4/10 @ 4:51 pm (reply)

Member

MrsCatWoman (message) 65 posts, Worker bee

My name has two syllables while my fiance’s has one and I tend to put his first becuase I think it rolls off the tongue better that way. Innnteresting.

8/4/10 @ 4:52 pm (reply)

Member

Bamboo (message) 1,050 posts, Bumble bee

I tend to go alphabetically when I write other people’s names out on envelopes. Sounds weird if I don’t…

8/4/10 @ 4:56 pm (reply)

Guest

encorebride

You know this is funny now that I’ve been forced to think about it. I’m always first with my fiance. It’s always Me and Him. And we’re both one syllable names. With one ex it was the same, both one syllable, Me and Him. With another ex, he was 2 syllables. And for whatever reason, it was always Him and Me. Odd. I have no idea why.

8/4/10 @ 4:58 pm (reply)

Member

miss bloom (message) 280 posts, Helper bee

I *think* it’s supposed to be the female’s name first before marriage then after marriage it switches to him first. But, we go by Him, Me!

8/4/10 @ 5:02 pm (reply)

10.

Member

Moose1209 (message) 1,992 posts, Buzzing bee

People usually put my husband’s name first. His is a short one syllable name and mine has three. When I’m writing down other couple’s names I always go by who I know better and put them first.

8/4/10 @ 5:06 pm (reply)

11.

Member

TheFutureMcBride (message) 4,484 posts, Honey bee

Your name can’t be Kendra because that’s my name and I’m like Tigger: the only one (and bouncy and fun fun fun fun fun) hehe

On your post, I have a theory that is by no means scientific in the least: people unconsciously alphabetize things when they write or say a list.

8/4/10 @ 5:08 pm (reply)

12.

Member

aunt pol (message) 1,506 posts, Bumble bee

I think people are inclined to think of a couple in terms of which person they knew first. It’s me & him to my family and friends, then him & me to his family and friends. And on top of that, I go for Ladies First.

8/4/10 @ 5:09 pm (reply)

13.

Guest

Nicki

It’s always me (Nicki) and then him (J.R.). It just sounds better that way!

8/4/10 @ 5:09 pm (reply)

14.

Member

silversixpence (message) 75 posts, Worker bee

I tend to go with how they sound together - and in your case Chris & Kendra flows better than Kendra & Chris (I think it’s to do with the “a” at the end of Kendra and the “and”) I have a vowel sound at the end of my name too, so his usually goes first

8/4/10 @ 5:10 pm (reply)

15.

Member

kitchenkoala (message) 63 posts, Worker bee

I agree with Moose1209 and aunt pol–when referring to a couple, people tend to put the name of the person they know better in front. For me and my fiance, I personally think his name sounds better first. Mike & Dorothy sounds infinitely better than Dorothy & Mike. It’s a syllable thing.

8/4/10 @ 5:11 pm (reply)

16.

Member

jmc (message) 882 posts, Busy bee

I think it’s how they sound together. “Chrisandkendra” seems easier to say than “KendraandChris.”

But I also think for me it depends on who I knew first in the couple. I’ll always say my friend’s name before her husband or wife’s name if I am not equally friends with both.

8/4/10 @ 5:12 pm (reply)

17.

Member

Cornhusker (message) 274 posts, Helper bee

This is crazy, my fiance and I were just having this discussion because we were ordering a stamp. I think my name, then his name sounds better, he thinks the opposite. So we had to rock, paper, sissors to see who one…me of course Jessie & Jason wins!

8/4/10 @ 5:13 pm (reply)

18.