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We’ve got some good news and some bad news. The good news is Mr G’s best friend from England and his wifey-to-be are saving up money to attend our ceremony! I am so happy to hear this because I was really worried Mr. G would be lonely on our special day. Dave’s BFF is a great guy—so great we are thinking about making him a part of our ceremony!
When they were little, Mr. G told his aforementioned friend that he would be best man at Mr. G’s wedding. So naturally, Dave wants BFF to be his best man in October. It would be nice for him, but this leaves me with a dilemma. While Mr. G would have one super special person around to be his best man, ALL of my friends at our ceremony are super special to me. Since we’re having a small and intimate wedding of 50, half the attendees would be up there with me if I were to have a bridal party! I’ve seen wedding parties with 10 or so groomsmen and bridesmaids on each side, but wouldn’t it look a little silly to have one best man and 5+ bridesmaids up there? And no one sitting in the seats? I love my girlfriends, but I just think it’ll be special and intimate enough with all our loved ones around us in my parent’s backyard. I am blessed to have many many caring, precious friends who would stand with me on my wedding day. I hope my girlfriends won’t be too crushed if I don’t include a bridal party in our ceremony, but if any of our friends would like to do a prepared reading, we’d be very grateful.
Mr. G really wants me to have a bridal party, but I can’t picture it. Although I love, love, LOVE the look of this:
(source)
This was actually the FIRST wedding inspiration photo I saved. I would check out the source if I were you— this bride’s wedding was absolutely gorgeous and is my favorite, ever.
We’ll contemplate this issue further, but I put forth the idea of Mr. G’s friend being our “officiant” of sorts, instead of the best man. He would basically guide our ceremony and stand with us the whole time while our friends and family come up to do readings. At the end, he would officiate the “Do you, Miss Glasses, take Mr. Glasses to be your lawfully wedded wife?” and vice versa, then pronounce us man and wife. We’d have to work on the wording a bit because, as I’ve mentioned, we will already be married; Mr. G is the creative words man!
I had another idea, which I think is really groovy, about printing the larger vows (”…for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health…“) on the back of our programs and having everybody at the ceremony lead us in those vows from their seats. Nothing like a little audience participation!
How big or small is your wedding party? Anyone foregoing it? Who is your officiant?
We didn’t have a wedding party at all. I felt similarly to you, but we did have friends and family involved. One of the husband’s friends was a “ring bearer” - he didn’t walk down the aisle, but stood to the side (every one stood at our ceremony); another friend did a toast; and my sister did a toast.
We are not having a wedding party either, we are also having an intimate affair with about 50 people. I have five sisters plus a few very good girl friends. I thought it would be easier and less of a hassle for me not to have a bridal party. My sisters and friends will be taking part in the wedding however. We plan to have a processional with both our families - first the groom’s immediate family and then my family. The first two rows on either side will be reserved for family members. Also, four of our good friends will be ushers; my sister is singing the solo that will be the music to which I walk into, while one of my friends will be accompanying her on the piano. His cousin will be reading a poem and my niece doing a reading. So event though we don’t have a party we have incorporated our loved ones.
I really like the audience participation idea! Good thought!
I love the audience and think the officiant friend is a great idea! We’ll meet our officiant the day of our wedding. She seems really sweet and our ceremony is so perfect.
we are having just a best man and then Im having a MOH, 2 bridesmaids and 2 junior bm’s. Im calling it a “queens wedding” as opposed to a “kings wedding” which is all groomsmen. our guestlist is about 100 people. I think if you have 5 BM’s it’d be cool. Let them wear the same color with different styles or something to keep it simple. Thats my opinion. If you want them up there with you on your special day, there is no reason why they can’t be!
My wedding party is waaay bigger than I’d like it to be. We have a lot of guests, but because I’ve moved around a lot I had 1-2 people from each stage in my life who assumed they’d be up there. Rather than disappoint anyone, I just said yes to them all. 9 or 10 BMs!
we have the SAME SCENARIO!
small wedding (50 guests) and i felt that at least 5 of the women in attendance should be in my bridal party, we toyed with the idea of skipping it, but photos like the one you posted, and the idea of people offering to help rather than having to ask made us go for it.
so we have 50 guests, one best man, and 5 bridesmaids 
four of the girls will be sitting in the front row on either side of the aisle and my older sister will stand up with me during the ceremony. we’re forgoing the processional aside from my father and i, so the girls will be ushers/maids for our small guest list and get prime seating!
i wondered if they would feel slighted, but after talking to them, it seems that standing up with everyone starring at them is not on their top list, so it works perfectly for us.
good luck in figuring it out, i know it can be stressful!
We’ve each chosen one person for our MOH’s. There is one other friend who I’m considering asking to be a bridesmaid… 2 girls, 1 guy isn’t a bad ratio, but I may just leave it where it is, too.
Our officiant is the same priest who baptized me as an infant. She’s been a good friend of the family forever, and it seemed fitting to have her marry me as well… kind of a full circle thing. 
My wedding party is all women. My two teenage nieces are escorting my fiance down the aisle, and they will be his attendants. Two of my friends are my bridesmaids, and then we’ll have his niece as flower girl, and maybe my 8 year old niece as a junior bridesmaid or flower girl.
We only had a flower girl and a ring bearer as our wedding party. This was a decision we made based on several factors but primarily because we’re both in our mid-30’s and just felt a bit too old to the whole attendant thing. Honestly, I think our close friends were thankful for that and the fact they could just attend our wedding as guests and truly enjoy themselves without having official roles to play.
It all worked out beautifully. His father held the rings until it was time for us to exchange them (traditionally the best man’s job) and my mother held my flowers while we exchanged rings (traditionally the MOH’s job).
And like your wedding, it was an intimate affair (60 people or so) with all of our favorite people. It worked perfectly and I would highly recommend it for you!
I wonder if you could have JUST a best man and maid of honor. You could choose a close relative or even your mom that way, if anyone asks, you say what you told us. That you love all your friends so much, you couldn’t choose!!
Part of me doesn’t want a wedding party. The other part of me wants to do siblings only–except that would lead to 3 on my side and 1 on his (and that 1 may not even be there). Needless to say, this is still up in the air.
No wedding party for us and it still makes me fume that my “best friend” acted as she did–but, oh well, life went on. I think the idea of your FI’s friend being the officiate is awesome since you will already be married. Maybe your ceremony could be a vow renewal of sorts or like Mrs. Avocado they were non-vow vows or something like that. Love the inspiration photos of the bride and her girls too!
I had this same dilemma! I had about 50 people at my wedding, and while I had 6 bridesmaids and a MOH, DH only had his BM. We had the six bridesmaids proceed down the aisle in pairs of two and then into the second row to sit for the ceremony. We only had the MOH and BM stand up front with us.
It worked out really well and I was able to include everyone who should have been included.
I have pics of how it looked if you want to see, also!
Good luck!
I think it’s a great idea to have the “best man” act as the officiant!
our officiant is a VERY close relative. My FI has chosen his four groomsmen and I’ve figured out two of my four bridesmaids.
We’re having our two youngest (my FI has an 18 yr old from a previous marriage) and my two nephews and his niece.
My son (from a previous marriage) will be ring bearer. Our daughter will be a flower girl, as will a niece. My two nephews will be their “escorts”.
Our wedding party is uneven — five on my side, four on his, including MOH and best “man” — man in quotes because we have one gal on the groom’s side and one guy on the bride’s side. And our officiant is my uncle, I love the idea of your officiant being Mr. G’s childhood BFF! That is sooo sweet.
I think have F’s friend be the officiant is a great idea. Our officiant is a family friend who is a retired hospice minister. It may sound morbid, but he got into weddings because the people whose family members he would care for got to like him so much they would ask him to do their weddings. I really like him because he has a very liberal/spirtuality is not static approach.
I think you guys have come up with a great solution! We had a good friend be our officient too, which gave us a lot of flexibility on what we had said, it included him, and he did a wonderful job!
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Mrs. Glasses, Tokyo/Los Angeles, CA Age and Occupation: 24, English teacher Fiance's Age and Occupation: 27, English teacher Engagement Date: September 2008 Wedding Date: October 2010 Venue: Parents' backyard About Me: I’m an expat living in Tokyo. I’ve been in Japan for almost three years now, where I met my fantastic English fiance. It’s time to leave Japan, so we are planning a fun, intimate, backyard ceremony back home in the suburbs of L.A. in October. Our wedding will be a mix of my love for food, beer, my Japanese culture, and Mr. G’s Englishness. We are on a tiny budget and DIYing almost everything!
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