To Look, or Not to Look?

To Look, or Not to Look?

August 5th, 2010 @ 3:17 pm by Mrs. Cardigan
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We’re not having a first look.

Whew. It feels good to get that off my chest. First looks have become so incredibly common lately; I get complete shock from people when I tell them that we’re skipping it. When I told our photographer that we don’t want a first look, I could practically see the stress filling her face as I said it—after all, it makes things a bit more complicated for her! We have to squeeze in all of our formal photos after the ceremony, and we’ll only be able to take care of a few of them before. Plus, our ceremony just so happens to be set at sunset, so it’s going to be dark outside after the ceremony—that makes formal portraits a bit difficult, no?

First looks make things very simple—you can take all your portraits before the ceremony, and then you get to enjoy your cocktail hour with all of your guests! Plus, who doesn’t love a first look photo? They are always so touching.

To Look, or Not to Look? : wedding austin photography First L

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To Look, or Not to Look? : wedding austin photography Markcai

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To Look, or Not to Look? : wedding austin photography Wedding

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So, if it’s so much simpler to have a first look, and you get some great photos out of it, why aren’t we doing it?

Because Mr. Cardigan and I have always agreed that our absolute favorite part of any wedding is the groom’s face as the bride walks down the aisle. Neither of us watches the bride at all when she first comes out—we can see her later. As all of the other guests are turned around watching her, we’re facing the front watching him. There’s just something about a groom’s face as he sees his bride for the first time, walking towards him that gets me every time. I love it.

And to be honest, we’ve been able to tell at every wedding we’ve been to that has had a first look. The groom still looks blissfully happy, and it still makes my heart melt, but it’s just not the same. You can tell it’s not the first time he’s seeing her. And if that moment is so special to us at other people’s weddings, why not at our own? I also know there have to be other people out there that feel the same way as we do, and we couldn’t deprive them of what we love so much about weddings.

So, there will be no first look for us. Mr. Cardy will see me in my dress for the first time as I am walking down the aisle to become his wife. And I absolutely cannot wait to see his face.

Are you having a first look, or are you skipping it like we are? What helped you make your decision?

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62 Responses to “To Look, or Not to Look?”

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Member

clane616 (message) 674 posts, Busy bee

We feel the same way you do and won’t be doing a first look either. I see all the great things about having some private moments together before the ceremony, but that’s part of what makes everything so special as you’re walking down the aisle is that you haven’t seen each other first. The closest we are getting is that I showed my fiance an online pic of my dress with the model in it. He’ll forget the quick glance by next year anyway!!

8/5/10 @ 3:26 pm (reply)

Member

flamingred (message) 1,921 posts, Buzzing bee

We had a first look. My (now husband) doesn’t get all gushy at the sight of me, he didn’t during our first look, and wouldn’t have if he saw me walking down the aisle for the first time. I’m sure he thought I looked lovely, but there just would have been zero drama. He thinks I look great in pajamas. With that knowledge, I figured I might as well save time on pictures and get them out of the way in the afternoon. =)

8/5/10 @ 3:28 pm (reply)

Member

aruka11 (message) 615 posts, Busy bee

We’re having a first look, but only because so many people are traveling from so far to see us and we want to spend as much time as possible with them. That said, we had a really hard time deciding because of precisely the same pros/cons you mentioned!

8/5/10 @ 3:29 pm (reply)

Member

phxchristina (message) 3 posts, Wannabee

Thank you! I got all teary-eyed reading your post. We’re also not having a first look, for the same reasons as you!

8/5/10 @ 3:32 pm (reply)

Member

flamingred (message) 1,921 posts, Buzzing bee

I would jus tlike to clarify that I mean his expression does not change whether I am in pajamas or wedding attire. I do not mean that I am the only person who possibly looks good in pajamas.

8/5/10 @ 3:32 pm (reply)

Member

KES (message) 270 posts, Helper bee

I don’t think we are doing a first look either, for the same reasons as you. I too am SO excited to see him on the altar as I walk toward him!

8/5/10 @ 3:32 pm (reply)

Member

qui40067 (message) 343 posts, Helper bee

We’re doing a first look purely for logistical reasons. Our reception is set to be somewhat short (at the absolute longest 3 hours) so I didn’t want to take anymore time than absolutely necessary taking pictures after the ceremony. But I agree - there is something special about a groom seeing his bride for the first moment when she walks down the aisle

8/5/10 @ 3:32 pm (reply)

Member

kaitlinandjason (message) 227 posts, Helper bee

we feel the same way, we aren’t doing a first look either

8/5/10 @ 3:32 pm (reply)

Member

misschristinec@hotmail.com (message) 163 posts, Blushing bee

We are doing a first look.. it was a REALLLLYYY tough decision… my stomach still ache’s thinking about this..

We had to decide
a) miss cocktail hour (pictures will take at least an hour)
or
b) not have the “walk down the aisle moment”

We chose B…

Our Rationalization: Our wedding day will be the quickest day of our lives, we would love to spend every minute experiencing it.

8/5/10 @ 3:33 pm (reply)

10.

Bee

Mrs. French Fries (message) 2,218 posts, Buzzing bee

Yay, yay, YAY! We felt the same way, and we didn’t have a first look. I will admit, it made logistics a bit more complicated, but it was so worth it. Mr. FF was trying *really really* hard not to cry, which I can totally tell in our pictures. There’s something to be said for keeping certain things “traditional” and to me, this is one of them.

8/5/10 @ 3:33 pm (reply)

11.

Guest

Allyn

We’re doing a first look. That way, you get to spend more time at the PARTY!

8/5/10 @ 3:34 pm (reply)

12.

Member

PrncssDva (message) 5,911 posts, Bee Keeper

We feel the exact same way that you do…so no first look.

8/5/10 @ 3:34 pm (reply)

13.

Member

7SEVENJ9 (message) 3,701 posts, Sugar bee

No first look here - some people think we’re nuts, but I agree completely with you!

8/5/10 @ 3:38 pm (reply)

14.

Member

Entangled (message) 2,616 posts, Sugar bee

We’re planning on doing one - same reason as Allyn - more time to party.

Also - we plan to walk down the aisle together so he wouldn’t see me for the first time in front of everyone anyway.

8/5/10 @ 3:39 pm (reply)

15.

Member

animated_librarian (message) 290 posts, Helper bee

We aren’t planning on doing a first look. Frankly, I hadn’t thought about it much it just seemed like him seeing me for the first time when I walked down the isle was the right thing to do. Yes, we will miss cocktail hour…and I suppose some of our family will too because they are supposed to come out and have pictures too, no? Hmmm, I need to talk to my mother about this, my FI won’t care either way….hmmmm.

8/5/10 @ 3:39 pm (reply)

16.

Member

Jesse1015 (message) 104 posts, Blushing bee

we’re not having a first look either, same reasons as you. And we’re getting married at sunset too so I feel bad for our photographer - but oh well.

8/5/10 @ 3:44 pm (reply)

17.

Member

clarebee (message) 2,766 posts, Sugar bee

YAY! I am so happy you are not doing it! We arent doing it either because I feel the EXACT same way as you! The thing I look forward to MOST on our wedding day? Seeing his face for the very first time as he sees me as a bride for the very first time. I get butterflies just thinking about this!!!

8/5/10 @ 3:44 pm (reply)

18.

Member

Lo (message) 538 posts, Busy bee

We are doing the first look! My FI wasn’t on board at first because he didn’t totally understand the concept but after discussing it and showing him photos he thinks it is a good idea and will help him to be less anxious during the actual ceremony. I think each couple has to make the best decision for them.

8/5/10 @ 3:45 pm (reply)

19.

Member

TheFutureMcBride (message) 4,479 posts, Honey bee

We’re not doing a first look either even though the reception is quick. I want that surprise. Plus, we’re getting married at noon, so it’s not like I have to wait too long.

8/5/10 @ 3:46 pm (reply)

20.

Member

MissChirpie (message) 730 posts, Busy bee

We decided to do a first look because we are super private people. We are both going to be so nervous, that I know seeing each other before hand will be very calming for us. We also want to do our first look privately because we want a moment alone to see each other for the first time before the chaos begins. I can see how it would be very special for it to be the first time while you are walking down the isle though. I think both ways are great!

8/5/10 @ 3:46 pm (reply)

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