Weddingbee Blog

We have big plans today—wedding license here we come!—and we seem, in general, to be on a wedding-roll! Which is not a bread roll made of weddings, just in case that was the image that came to mind.

I have to wait until people actually receive their invitations to show you the whole shebang, but here is a preview for you/picture of how we spent much of our mini-vacation:

In a cabin in the woods, surrounded by peace and serenity… addressing invitations.

before mailing them out - feeling pleased with our stack

In the meantime, here is what I have been thinking about recently: The Gay. The Gay, and our honeymoon.

First, I hate the idea of a “minimoon”. Even if it is a smaller honeymoon than you would like or than you think other people would consider a “honeymoon”, own it, people! It’s yours! It’s your post-wedding crashing/celebration/time with your espoused, and it is important, even if you don’t fly somewhere tropical and spend the whole time in your bathing suit being served fancy drinks.

All of that said, I am crazy jealous of the people who get to sit around in their bathing suits while being served fancy drinks.

We are still planning our honeymoon. I’m sure the Kn*t.com would be unhappy with us. And we still have little idea what we’re doing.

Here are the complicating factors: we have essentially no money. Also, I will be taking classes, which, on a week when I’m not getting married, I will be attending on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Saturday. Missing two weeks of these classes is just not an option. Other than that, we are free! We can do whatever we want!

So here’s the plan: we are going to go up to my family’s cabin in New Hampshire and spend a couple of days there. It will be quiet and peaceful and lovely. And then! (Here’s where I really have no idea what will happen.) And then we will go somewhere in New Hampshire that is pretty and luxurious and people will serve us food and we will have a jacuzzi. And a balcony. And we will rest and hike and eat good food.

Where is this place? Well, folks, that’s what I’m hoping you can help with. Here is what inspired the whole shebang:

source

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As you can see, balcony - and what you can’t see on these pictures but is clear on the website is the jacuzzi. Swoon. Sadly, this place is in Canada and too far for us. Also way out of our budget. Luckily, we did find a couple of places that were closer, until we realized one big thing (and this is where the aforementioned Gay comes in): we need to consider whether we will be comfortable there.

As Fancee put it: “I want to be able to be newlywed lesbians and walk around with you, enjoying being married to you, and not have to worry about defending our decisions or feeling uncomfortable while we’re on our honeymoon.” Good point, Fancee.

And with that point, I got all up in arms again. I am pretty good at getting up in arms, and of course the whole thing is tied into my thinking I was done with this whole coming-out-life-can-be-hard thing. Guys, I’m out! This aspect of life should be done being hard! And it’s our honeymoon - of course we should be able to walk around being over the moon with happiness and enjoy each other and say, “Yeah, we’re here on our honeymoon!” without weird looks or being defensive.

So now, not only are we looking for a beautiful place, but we have to make sure it’s somewhere we’ll be safe and accepted. And welcomed. A “we don’t mind if you’re here” isn’t good enough: we want a “Welcome! Your champagne is the room!”

It’s hard in a similar way as it was when I realized my coworker who was getting married didn’t have to worry about whether her marriage would offend anyone, or analyze her guest list to make sure everyone would feel comfortable receiving an invitation. Most people don’t even have to think about this; protect your wallet, yes; don’t get kidnapped, fine; but Will I have to defend my marriage at every juncture? not so much.

So we’re sticking to the Yay Gay Marriage states: New Hampshire, Vermont, MA. We don’t like CT (sorry CT!) so we’re not going there. But that’s as far as we’ve gotten.

We want to feel good doing plenty of this on our honeymoon (Photo by Ellie Leonardsmith)

Do you have anywhere that you like in these areas? Did you have to think about any of this while planning your honeymoon, whether you have The Gay or not? What would you have done differently if you’ve done it already?