Weddingbee Blog

I’ve been super busy with work, but I’ve still got weddings on the brain, especially our Tokyo reception! I won’t be organizing it because my Japanese is rubbish, but I’ve seen my fair share of receptions since I started living here in 2007; so I think I know how it’ll go down. First of all, there is a lot of drinking.

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A lot of Japanese aren’t ashamed of getting utterly wasted at any type of function, and my Japanese family is no exception! I’m sure there will be tons of beer, sake, and shochu flowing steadily.

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The drinking and dining will probably go down in a room like the one above. Everyone will sit down on chairs with no legs in a Japanese tatami-mat room. There will undoubtedly be very Japanese-looking flower arrangements all over the room and possibly Japanese scroll paintings on the walls. This will probably be the only form of decoration—no centerpieces or card boxes here!

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Food will probably be kaiseki. These are delicate (mostly seafood) dishes spread out over a course-style meal. I hate seafood and hate kaiseki! I usually walk away very hungry from this style of dining. Kaiseki is typically found at banquets and other functions and as hotel meal services, so this will probably be my mom’s choice.

Speeches will be made that will become slurred and incoherent as the night goes on. I don’t think there will be any other form of entertainment going on that night—it’s “undignified” to dance at a Japanese wedding! At the end of the night the attendees might get favors that are a bit nicer than Jordan almonds. In Japan, couples don’t register. They are given cash gifts and the average is about $300! Japanese weddings tend to be big, usually over 100 people, so a couple can make a nice chunk of change from getting married. Most couples break even, however, as the food and favors tend to be higher end, so that the price of each attendant is $200 or more. Furthermore, the couple usually pay the airfare for any guests that must fly out to the wedding, and brides do several outfit changes throughout the night. One of my students had a daughter that wore a kimono, a white bridal gown, and a colorful princess dress! Another factor that drives the prices up is that the new bride and groom don’t just have one reception. Sometimes the ceremony and reception immediately following are for family only, and then the couple will have a friends-only reception the next day, followed by a coworkers only reception! Phew, that is a lot of partying and a lot of drinks to buy!

Luckily we’ll just be having one for my Japanese family and coworkers here. It should be a laugh, although I’m not too close to my Japanese family on account of the language barrier. I’m glad there will be a ton of beer!

What goes on in regard to weddings and receptions in your cultural neck of the woods?