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Mrs. Octopus, Boston, MA/Pittsburgh, PA Age and Occupation: 25, Grad Student Fiance's Age and Occupation: 26, Graphics Operator for TV News Engagement Date: May 6th, 2009 Wedding Date: September 2010 Venue: Heinz Chapel Ceremony, Museum Reception About Me: When my best friend dragged me to a toga party in our freshmen year of college, I was not expecting to meet my future husband; but seven years later, here we are. I'm a crazy-organized planner at heart, and I am a great lover of random trivia, books, chocolate, blogs, new and exciting adventures, mockumentary-style television, and anything heavily flavored with bright orange fake cheese powder. We're planning a festive and fun mini-destination wedding in the place where we met: fabulous Pittsburgh, PA! I can't wait to marry the man I love!
About Mrs. Octopus

I deleted a bunch of things off my Giant Wedding To-Do List, and it’s not because I finished them. It’s because I ditched them. DITCHED ’EM!

Months ago, I had big plans. Here are just a few of the projects I had dreamed that I’d take on for our wedding…

Votives wrapped in old book pages,

More Items Relegated to the Eff-It List :  wedding decor pittsburgh reception Diy Vin diy-vin

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and a poster for the cocktail hour in which guests could pin a cute flagged tack to indicate what year they met us,

More Items Relegated to the Eff-It List :  wedding decor pittsburgh reception Mwd1047 mwd1047

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and fortune tellers whose purpose at a wedding I don’t entirely understand… but look how cute:

More Items Relegated to the Eff-It List :  wedding decor pittsburgh reception Tumblr tumblr_

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and custom buttons with fun wedding-related slogans,

More Items Relegated to the Eff-It List :  wedding decor pittsburgh reception Wedding03 wedding03

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and Moo cards with trivia questions to scatter around the cocktail tables, and a hand-rigged photo line, and so on and so on and so on.

I do have the time to create all these little details. I could scrounge up the money from somewhere if I really wanted to. But the months were ticking by, and I kept moving “order personalized buttons” and “create photo line” farther and farther and farther down the to-do list. Every time I started to plan these projects, I’d think, ugh, and stop. The idea of creating, storing, shipping and/or packing, then organizing or presenting or displaying all these cute little details filled me with dread. Yet I persevered, and kept them on my list for a long, long time, despite how badly I didn’t want to make/order/store/pack/display any of them. Why?

Well, two intertwined reasons, really. One, I am an Internet-savvy bride, and that dreaded phrase that often gets tossed around in the wilds of wedding media—cookie-cutter—was ringing in my ears. Our wedding is already pretty darn traditional, save for perhaps the slightly off-beat reception venue. If I don’t stuff my wedding to the gills with these little details, won’t it be just another boring, typical, traditional, cookie-cutter wedding?!

Two, the fact is not lost on me that I am a Weddingbee blogger. If I could get a little meta on you for a second, um, have you seen the weddings of my fellow bees? They’re spectacular. I love blogging here, and I feel like I’ve gotten so much from this community, and I really don’t want to be the bee that makes everyone think, “ugh, BO-RING!” I could tell you that I don’t care what the Internet thinks of my wedding, but that would be a lie. I like you, Internet! I don’t want you to think my wedding and I are super-lame! So, to be honest, I was reluctant to give up a lot of the little stuff because I wanted to have something to show Weddingbee.

Finally, it was time for a reality check. I’ve reached the point where our wedding is weeks, not months, away. I so, so, so wanted to just scrap the buttons and the trivia cards and all the whatnot, but I kept thinking, “but if I get rid of that stuff, then our wedding won’t have any personal details!” You guys, that is crazy talk. Everything about this wedding is personal. Mr. Octo and I chose everything about it, from the location to the food to the cake flavors to the colors of the napkins. Oh, and also? Our wedding will be personal because we are getting married at it. What could be more personal than that?

I’ve gotta be me, you guys. I am not, under any circumstances, a crafter—in fact, I didn’t actually know that crafting, with the paper and the supplies and the glue and whatnot, was even a thing people did before I started reading wedding blogs. All those details would be adorable, but they wouldn’t be me. I do still plan on spending time making things that I think will be functional and useful (ceremony programs, out-of-town bags, that kind of thing), but the fun-but-wholly-unnecessary stuff? Out. Scrapped it all.

So, I’m not going to be the blogger who shows you DIY posts, or who has a fleet of beautiful and cohesive handcrafted items, or who has a truly visually stunning wedding. But I can be the blogger who reminds you that, ultimately, your wedding is supposed to make you happy, and that ideally, the process of planning your wedding should be pretty fun, and that laying tons of unnecessary and avoidable stress on yourself for the sake of personal details or visual impact or whatever is silly. If you LIKE creating all that stuff, then do it! If, like me, the thought of it fills you with dread and anxiety, DON’T do it!

What’s your stance on creating and crafting for your wedding? Do you, like me, sometimes feel intimidated by the world of wedding blogs?

Tags: decor, pittsburgh, reception |
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35 Responses to “More Items Relegated to the Eff-It List”

1 2 

1.
clarebee
Member
clarebee (message)  2,766 posts, Sugar bee

Can I just say I love you for this post? Would that be weird? Because I do. I felt all the things you felt and then realized the same things you did!! Little drink flags on the cute straws I bought - scrapped. What tree do you fall from - scrapped. Photobooth- scrapped. Fun and cute escort cards - scrapped! But I dont care at this point because Im just ready to be married!!!

 
2.
Miss Jellyfish
Bee
Miss Jellyfish (message)  1,450 posts, Bumble bee

Octo, I’m right there with you 100%. I am slashing things from my to-do list left and right. And you know what? It feel’s great. You go girl.

 
3.
Miss Jellyfish
Bee
Miss Jellyfish (message)  1,450 posts, Bumble bee

Feel’s? I mean feels. Yeah. Also - “Our wedding will be personal because we are getting married at it. What could be more personal than that?” YES.

 
4.
jordynrose
Member
jordynrose (message)  6,351 posts, Bee Keeper

This is how I feel every time I read wedding blogs. Thank you for putting it into words!

 
5.
absolutbettie
Member
absolutbettie (message)  261 posts, Helper bee

Great post! I couldn’t agree more! I may be in the minority when I say that I don’t think DIY touches add all that much to weddings. On the internet, just because the cutesy little details stand out, we think that is what makes the wedding more “personalized.” But in real life, as you said it, what can be more personal than two people declaring their love in front of family and friends??

 
6.
sapphirebride
Member
sapphirebride (message)  1,747 posts, Bumble bee

Octopus, you’re a great Bee not just because you’ve made some craft projects for your wedding. But because you’ve shared with us so many personal thoughts and moments along the way. I enjoy your posts because you give us pause to think about marriage, and relationships, and their context in planning a wedding. That’s always my favorite part of a wedding blog. Keep on truckin’ and keep on throwing those unnecessary projects out.

 
7.
Jennifer5642
Member
Jennifer5642 (message)  233 posts, Helper bee

Personally, I’m a crafter. I love all things paper and scissors… but that’s me. I can’t be me without expressing my endless love of diy projects.

That’s not you, that’s cool, too. Didn’t intend to rhyme that, but OK. I think that people notice the details that are important to them. A crafter notices other people’s craftiness. Musicians notice other folks’ play lists. Florists notice flowers. Get my drift? In then end, it really only matters what YOU want to love. If a project fills you with dread and “ugh” it has no place in your wedding.

Bravo for being brave enough to be you, boldly, unflinchingly, and unapologetically!

 
8.
EmeraldR
Member
EmeraldR (message)  753 posts, Busy bee

Thank you! Thank you so much for openly stating what I have been feeling so pressured by from all of these fancy wedding blogs and staged photos. You do not need all of the “stuff” to have a beautiful, meaningful personalized wedding. And no matter how hard we try, everything is not going to color coordinate perfectly.

 
9.
Member Icon
Member
Miss Boot Camp (message)  40 posts, Newbee

I’m with you Octi, the fact that you made the effort to find the little pictures of crafting ideas is way more than I’m ready to put in. I got my caterer and bridesmaid dresses and I’m feeling very accomplished this week.

 
10.
Member Icon
Member
jlp2w71611 (message)  298 posts, Helper bee

I feel like I wrote this post! I look at all these blogs of all you Bees and think “omg I could not do this” However, I have also gotten great ideas that I probably never would have come across anywhere else. Some I have thought would be great & then when it got right down to it- nope not me. But that’s okay! It’s all about knowing who you are & what kind of wedding day YOU want! Kudos Miss Octopus :-)

 
11.
HisButtercup
Member
HisButtercup (message)  155 posts, Blushing bee

Ahhh, thank you SO much for this! I’ve been feeling all this self-inflicted pressure to make my wedding unique, as though if it were entirely traditional it would be somehow less important or less fun or less US. I have a year until the wedding, but I’ve been planning all these things that I’d enjoy, but with school starting I really won’t have time for. Instead, I think I’ll just focus on the things that will really make me and our guests happy!

Thank you, thank you, thank you! I needed to hear that! :-)

 
12.
ajkg25
Member
ajkg25 (message)  27 posts, Newbee

Did you ever figure out how to the hand rigged photo line? Of course I am wondering for personal reasons!

 
13.
Mrs. Pug
Bee
Mrs. Pug (message)  3,753 posts, Honey bee

octopus, you and me are in the same boat. we had a pretty “traditional, boring” wedding seriously lacking in cute little details, but honestly, it was still so very personal and quite lovely.

 
14.
Bee Icon
Bee
Miss Earrings (message)  2,477 posts, Buzzing bee

I also love u for this post! I feel like I *should* do a whole lot of things for our wedding for some of the reasons you felt you had to. I love DIYing and such, and I will do the projects I feel like, but it makes me feel so much more free and less stressed to read that “our wedding will be personal because we are getting married at it.” That’s all we need, right?! :)

 
15.
Violet Violet
Member
Violet Violet (message)  985 posts, Busy bee

Thanks so much for this post! Strangely I was thinking about this today–in trying to be so different, I started wondering if doing the stuff I’ve tried to avoid is ok bc it would be different if it was ours. Braaavo!

 
16.
TheFutureMcBride
Member
TheFutureMcBride (message)  4,479 posts, Honey bee

*hugs* I feel the same way. There’s so many awesome things to do and so little time to do them, so, like you, I’ve given great projects the snub. It hurts, but time doesn’t care if it’s cute.

 
17.
amanda2011
Member
amanda2011 (message)  82 posts, Worker bee

I am a crafter, so I don’t necessarily have the same feeling as you, but it is great to see that you don’t feel like you have to do those projects. Sometimes it does seem like we lose focus of what really is important. Thanks for the post!

 
18.
bridesmomma
Member
bridesmomma (message)  451 posts, Helper bee

Youre spot on, it’s the bride and groom who make their wedding personal! My daughter zoned out during the ceremony and didn’t answer “I do” at the moment she was suppose to…there was an awkward silence, the officiant kind of put his eyebrows up, her husband had a panicked look in his eyes…then she blurted out “I do!!”, “I do!” “I REALLY do!” The guests got quite a chuckle out of that–and many said that her little mishap really set a fun and playful tone to the whole wedding.

 
19.
seattlemeg
Member
seattlemeg (message)  538 posts, Busy bee

Miss Octo, the internet does love you! And we thank you for the fun ideas that you just told us about that may end up at the end of our to-do lists ;-) The bee is a great place for all different types of brides, and it’s refreshing to see a post like this to help keep the less crafty from feeling inadequate. Best of luck in these last couple of weeks before your big day :-)

 
20.
Bee Icon
Bee
Miss Knitting (message)  1,072 posts, Bumble bee

I feel pretty much the same way. I’m not crafty and could never pull off the things other bees are capable of. I’m not too bothered about it. I’m doing a lot of crafty things that are at my level (ridiculously easy) and having lots of fun with that. Also, yay for all those Canadian buttons!

 
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Mrs. Octopus
Mrs. Octopus

Mrs. Octopus, Boston, MA/Pittsburgh, PA Age and Occupation: 25, Grad Student Fiance's Age and Occupation: 26, Graphics Operator for TV News Engagement Date: May 6th, 2009 Wedding Date: September 2010 Venue: Heinz Chapel Ceremony, Museum Reception About Me: When my best friend dragged me to a toga party in our freshmen year of college, I was not expecting to meet my future husband; but seven years later, here we are. I'm a crazy-organized planner at heart, and I am a great lover of random trivia, books, chocolate, blogs, new and exciting adventures, mockumentary-style television, and anything heavily flavored with bright orange fake cheese powder. We're planning a festive and fun mini-destination wedding in the place where we met: fabulous Pittsburgh, PA! I can't wait to marry the man I love!

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