Weddingbee Blog

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about how to say “I love you” on our wedding day. I really want it to be special, but I’m nervous I won’t be able to get what I feel across in words. Let alone the fact that I may flub it all up with tears. Stupid tears…ugh! (I know Mama Plaid will be crying in the audience…I doubt I’ll be able to hold it together. My emotions are going to be running high that day.)

We’ve basically got two options. We can just say traditional vows. You know, the whole:

I, Miss Plaid, take you, Mr. Plaid, to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.

But I just don’t know if I’m feeling that. I like the idea of just having to repeat after the officiant, but it seems so devoid of emotion and personality. We may both be quiet people, but trust me, we’ve got tons of personality. We might be what some would classify as weird. (It keeps it interesting, I promise. Besides, everyone’s got a little weird in them.)

So then we come to option two: Writing our own vows. Oh man, does this option make me nervous. Creative writing has never really been my forte. However, I’ve seen this done in different ways.

When Mama Plaid got married last year, she and her husband wrote their own individual vows specifically outlining (and in his case, with an actual numbered list…oh Stepdad Plaid) what they love about each other and what they’re looking forward to in their life together. I can just imagine getting up there and being like, “Ummm I love you cause you’re ummm tall and ummmm you have a cute butt.” Ha. Embarrassing right? I’m not sure I can handle this option.

I went to a friend’s wedding two years ago (co-MOH L’s actually), and she and her husband chose a passage from a book that acted as their vows. They recited the same words to each other, but it was still different than the norm. I like this idea a lot, actually. Other people have already thought of the perfect way to say “I love you,” so why not “borrow” their words?

Here’s a poem I found that I really love:

Love by Roy Croft

I love you

Not only for what you are,

But for what I am

When I am with you.

I love you,

Not only for what

You have made of yourself,

But for what

You are making of me.

I love you

For the part of me

That you bring out;

I love you

For putting your hand

Into my heaped-up heart

And passing over

All the foolish, weak things

That you can’t help

Dimly seeing there,

And for drawing out

Into the light

All the beautiful belongings

That no one else had looked

Quite far enough to find

I love you because you

Are helping me to make

Of the lumber of my life

Not a tavern

But a temple.

Out of the works

Of my every day

Not a reproach

But a song.

I love you

Because you have done

More than any creed

Could have done

To make me good.

And more than any fate

Could have done

To make me happy.

You have done it

Without a touch,

Without a word,

Without a sign.

You have done it

By being yourself.

I really like what it says, but maybe it’s too long. Maybe we could each say half?

I think what I would like to do is combine both the traditional and our individual style. I would love to recite this poem to my mister first and then we can do the traditional, “I, Jenn, take you…blah blah blah” part. I like these versions a bit more then the first though:

I, Miss Plaid, take you, Mr. Plaid, to be my husband, my partner in life and my one true love. I will cherish our union and love you more each day than I did the day before. I will trust you and respect you, laugh with you and cry with you, loving you faithfully through good times and bad, regardless of the obstacles we may face together. I give you my hand, my heart, and my love, from this day forward for as long as we both shall live.

or

I, Miss Plaid, take you, Mr. Plaid, to be my partner, loving what I know of you, and trusting what I do not yet know. I eagerly anticipate the chance to grow together, getting to know the man you will become, and falling in love a little more every day. I promise to love and cherish you through whatever life may bring us.

What do you think of my idea to combine both? What did you do? Did you write your own or recite the traditional vows? What do you think of the poem?