Weddingbee Blog

Wanna know my biggest fear?… Divorce.

Disclaimer: I understand that some things are out of your control and sometimes that divorce is the only option. You can’t always control what happens in your marriage and I don’t judge anyone that has had to go through it.

When you say, “I Do,” that means forever. You build dreams and goals and you work and live towards that. You do things together and see yourself as part of a team, so how do you stop all of that when you divorce? You change they way you think when you get married, the way you see things, the way you act, and live. So how do you just turn it off? You can’t.

Mr Handy has amazing grandparents. They have been together since they were 11 and 12 years old. They have been through it all, seen it all and are still loving each other. His grandmother and I are very close, we have had many long chats about marriage. She is an amazing woman and has so many words of wisdom that I thought I would share.

She told me that a good marriage is work, communication, and more work.

She says, “Remember that a fair argument can enhance a marriage. Fight for your marriage, not to win.”

I live by those words everyday.

We have dated for nearly 6 years. We don’t know everything and we still have lots of kinks to work out, but we are both committed and both want this forever. We both are very scared of divorce, this is why we have dated for so long. We want to make sure that this is what we both want, something that we both are going to work on and something that we both are committed 100%. We have had to learn how to communicate with each other and the right way to fight. Relationships are not easy. They are a balancing act. They take lots of communication, willingness to listen, and trust. There are going to be days where we fight and we are angry at each other, but that’s normal. No relationships are perfect. It takes the rough times to get to the good times. If you don’t learn what not to do, you will never know what to do.

Marriage is a beautiful and wonderful thing. It is not to be taken lightly and its not something to do, just because its fun to have a big party. It is a lifelong commitment to forever listen and compromise. To forever love and trust. To forever communicate and believe in one another. It is “’til death do you part”. I think a lot of people tend forget that and just give up. Sometimes it is just too much work for some and they just walk away and stop trying. Sometimes I think that “our generation” needs to go back to the basics and remember what a real marriage is and what it takes to create a loving and stable relationship.

To Mr Handy:

I promise to always remember why we decided to wed. I promise to commit myself to this relationship, our marriage, to communicate and always be there to support you. I will make this work, ’til death do us part.

xoxoxo

Ms Handy

What are the greatest words of wisdom regarding marriage that you’ve been given?