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We hadn’t left the tarmac in Boston and I was already wistfully nostalgic about our soon-to-be perfect honeymoon. I pictured it as a montage set to some Gray’s-Anatomy-type music. There we were, I imagined, floating blissfully in a pool. There we were, grinning in a hot tub with colorful drinks in our hands/strolling the beach wearing linen (I don’t own an ounce of linen)/tanned and excited and scheming about how to quit our real lives and stay in this bronzy, cotton-candy-spun bubble forever.
I think I’ve mentioned before that although I never entertained dreams of the “perfect wedding day”, I always believed, steadfastly, in the perfect honeymoon.
We would later discover that perfect honeymoons, although tidy and memorable and nostalgia-inducing and, well… perfect (whatever that means)… aren’t nearly as funny as the ridiculous kind.
What follows is a story about the latter.
It’s a tale of romance, relaxation, joy, tropical storms, and food poisoning. It’s a story of turning 30, celebration, and an odyssey home against the evil wizard Delta. A tale for the ages (or, for your perusal while you’re bored at work).
This story has it all!
Cheerful optimism/happy naivete!
Newlywedded bliss!
Momentary disgruntlement:
and finally…
Complete and utter resignation!
It was, above all else, a lot of laughs. Stay tuned.
oh no! i wish i had seen this in feb when you posted where you picked - WORST RESORT EVER. We got engaged there, which was nice - but friends got rashes, everyone got food poisoning, AC didn’t always work - and my new fiance almost died when he slipped on the walk way and landed on his head. Worst place on the planet! I am expecting funny/similar posts soon…
@willow bride: funny (or, “funny”) stories coming up! Oh man, that AC was the worst. It shut off whenever it sensed we were hot. I hear you about the food poisoning, but at least we got no rashes…that is crazy!
Great to see you back - am literally LOL-ing already. Can’t wait to hear more!
man, i can’t wait to hear this. but you two are adorable and sweet through it all!
Lol the “evil wizard Delta,” quite a foe in my experience!
omg wearing linen! I envision the same thing, why? Although… I DO own white linen pants that I wear once a summer wishing I was on a tropical beach.
Anyway, can’t wait to read more! So glad you’re recappin!
Haha this is a very funny post & can’t wait to hear more!!
I can’t wait to hear about it…you have officially sucked me in 
So glad your recaps are starting Pchips! I’ve missed your crack me up posts!
Oh gosh-the fact that your story is corroborated by shared bad experiences by willow bride is just too much!
I can’t wait to hear about it…some of your story already sounds like our honeymoon!
Yay! We had some wackiness involving being driven back to the airport in Thailand in an unmarked van with 15 other people, and all we could do was laugh and pray we were, in fact, heading to the airport.
oh my gosh I cannot wait to hear more - you are too hilarious PChips!
So stoked PChipz is back! By far the finest writing on this here ‘Bee.
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Ms. Potato Chips, Boston/Narragansett RI Age and Occupation: 29, PhD Student Fiance's Age and Occupation: 30, Personal Trainer/Business Owner/Physical Therapy Assistant Engagement Date: January 1, 2009 Wedding Date: June 2010 Venue: The Narragansett Towers About Me: A semi-professional bookworm, if I could be a literary character I’d be a cross between Jo March and Jane Eyre, only better accessorized and much lazier. My hobbies include sleeping in, seasonal brews, running, Trader Joe’s, and watching Unwrapped and Good Eats with Mr. Potato Chips. I harbor an irrational fear of tulle, crafts, things that are fussy, and overuse of the phrase "Your Special Day". After a year or seven together, down the aisle we go, slouching toward adulthood and planning a Rhodie party with equal parts whimsy, cheer, and pizza.
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