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As I mentioned a little while ago, Mr Lightning and I have been a little MIA thanks to a VERY large project… the building of our first home!

While it’s all fully functioning, it is quite literally a blank canvas.

Having come from a small apartment we’re still collecting furniture and I’ve been painting stripes and all sorts of things in each of the rooms to make them unique. But all of this takes time and money. While we love our new home, monthly security fees, insurance and general house maintenance has really made a hole in our pockets and we have little to spare on the luxuries we once indulged in when we lived in the apartment. We’re also still paying off the final builder’s fee which came in a lot higher than expected.

While we’ve done so much in the past few months it is also hard to believe that I was putting final touches on my wedding veil a year ago today. Next week Mr Lightning and I will celebrate our 1st anniversary as husband and wife.

When we thought about how we would celebrate our anniversary back then it was going to be something along the lines of a romantic weekend away or a big bash with our closest friends. If we decided on the latter I had planned to incorporate all the DIY projects I didn’t have time for and to have all the whimsy I felt lacked in our very serious formal reception. I was even so completely excited to share this special event with all of you!

But about 2 months ago, reality set in. Mr Lightning and I didn’t have a spare cent to go for dinner, never mind a romantic getaway or anniversary party. We’ve always been good with money and it is for this very reason that we’ve managed to achieve what we have at our age. But things have never been so tight since we started renovating the cottage. Worst of all, our birthdays follow our anniversary with quick succession, meaning we won’t be exchanging gifts or having any big celebrations.

For a long time this made us very sad and very stressed. We didn’t celebrate a proper engagement and let go of a lot of special things in the lead-up to our wedding. We really didn’t want our first anniversary to follow suit. But it is in tough times that the bonds of marriage really show. Mr Lightning and I looked at our situation and decided to work to a mutual goal: to have a debt-free Christmas. We both knew that if we carried any bills into the festive season, while we both took time off from work, we’d end up not enjoying this time meant for family, friends, good food and tokens of appreciation. It is also summer here in South Africa, so December days are spent on the beach, eating at cafes and drinking cocktails at sunset. It’s not a good time to budget.

With this in mind we looked at the 3 special days leading up ’til Christmas and how we could celebrate them in a way that made us happy but didn’t require money. For our birthdays we opted for a poker night for mine in late September and a croquet day for him in October. We already own these activities and will be having family and friends contribute snacks on the day.

And for our anniversary? Well, this one I’ve been working on for a few weeks now. With my business I often trade skills with other creatives and most recently I assisted the very same photographer that shot our wedding with some web design. In exchange she’ll be shooting an intimate first anniversary shoot on the day! Because we never had engagement portraits taken, this is something I’m really looking forward to as we’d really love professional pictures other than from our wedding.

In addition to this we’ve also taken the first anniversary “paper” gift to heart. We’re each crafting paper-related gifts that are personal and intimate. While I have no idea what Mr Lightning has in store for me, I’ll be sharing my DIY anniversary present with you all in the next few days. The gift is a mixture of things I already have and a few things I’ve made. All-in-all, this gift has meant more to me than any anniversary party or romantic weekend would have.

Both Mr Lightning and I know we’re very fortunate people and even with our recent financial troubles we still better off than most. I think sometimes we get wrapped up in the romance of weddings and anniversaries only to realise the most important part is that we have each other.

Has money been tight in the months leading up to your wedding and after? Do you find yourself having to change your lifestyle to accommodate it all, and is it putting a strain on your relationship?