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We’ve had a lot of e-mail contact with prospective wedding vendors, but now it’s time to lock down a contract. That means we’ve got to reject a few vendors that we haven’t decided to go with. I hate tasks like these—I am bad with words and don’t like letting people down. I did what I always do when I am avoiding something…delegate the task to Mr. Glasses!
Some basic guidelines I gave him after I did my research:
And here is the Glasses’ generic “No, thank you” e-mail:
To (vendor)
We wanted to thank you for taking the time and effort to keep in touch with us and to (provide service). While we were impressed by your (service), another (vendor) was able to offer us something that was more suitable to our requirements and price range.
Thank you very much for your time,
Mr. and Miss G
I debated letting the vendors know why exactly we weren’t going with them. I thought maybe it would be a little more gentle to simple say, “We’re going in another direction.” But then I figured maybe the vendor would appreciate exactly why we wouldn’t be using their services for future reference.
So. I don’t want this to be the be-all-end-all way to break up with a vendor. How do you turn down a vendor by e-mail or in person? Let’s be helpful to each other in the comments!
*Complete the lyrics and I will give you a gold star + a mad cool story.
“whoa-oa-oah / said you had nothin’ but I called your bluff/ you got my sweater, my hat, I can’tfind my cat / the hardest part of breakin’ up, is getting back your stuff.”
I was horrible about remembering to send the “breaking up” email. Since so many photographers make you contact them for a price sheet. I think I contacted 30 photographers (no joke)
I did have one photographer who emailed or tweeted at me like twice a week asking if there was anything more he could do. After about a month of his tweets I knew who I wanted to book. I sent him an email in the nicest way possible telling him we chose someone else. He asked who, and I decided to tell him and explained why. He then sent me another email telling me I was making a mistake. I didn’t hire a “wedding photographer” I hired a photographer who occasionally shot weddings.
Which made me even more nervous to email other vendors and let them go. I’m sure I just got a bad vendor, but it did freak me out. Did anyone else have a bad breakup experience?
oh man, luckily my mom was the main contact with most of the vendors since she and dad were footing the bill, but i still had to deal with the inappropriate way the caterer we DIDN’T choose decided to handle the letdown. I think my mom must have told them something along the same lines as the form email you described, which I think is perfectly PC and professional. But the caterer we didn’t choose decided to call ME (like I was going to do anything, it’s not my money and I agreed with why we chose the other people because frankly their food and prices were better). He complained about the fact that we didn’t choose them and went on to berate me with questions about why we didn’t choose them and basically say that he wasn’t happy with HOW we made our choice… um, sorry, it’s our business how we make our choices, not yours, and this is no way to gain a customer! like i’m going to say “oh how silly of me! let me choose the unprofessional whiny baby over the other guys!” no way! hopefully you won’t run into the same sticky situation. and i say the less information you give them the better. just say thank you for your time but we decided to go in another direction. and that’s all that’s needed.
I was in communication with dozens of vendors for pretty much everything you can think of, so I did not bother sending emails to any of them letting them know we were “picking up a different option.” I got a handful of emails along the way from vendors following up to check if I still was interested, and those I politely informed that we’d chosen someone else. I was surprised when one of them actually asked us who we had decided to go with. One of these interactions turned out quite positively, though: I emailed a DOC asking for her prices, and when they were out of our budget I forgot about her, then when she followed up a few weeks later and I told her we couldn’t afford her, she offered to give us a discount!
Those emails are so hard to write! You seem to have a really good way to handle it…I haven’t really had to send break-up emails with everyone, though there was one person I emailed to ask about prices, and she sent me the prices about 20 times (spaced out over a few weeks) because I hadn’t responded. I finally had to tell her I found someone else!
The only break-up email I (or really my fiance) had to send was to a potential rehearsal dinner vendor. For everyone else I simply never emailed them back and they took the hint. I probably should have let people know that we decided to go in another direction, but I’m not loosing any sleep over it, haha.
You’re better than I am! I never email them back. I know that’s awful though…
“Breaking up is hard enough (oh oh oh oh)
Say you had nothing but I called your bluff.
You got my sweaters, my hat…
I can’t find my cat! *meow*
The Hardest Part Of Breaking Up
is getting Back Your Stuff. ” lol!
I pretty much knew which vendors I wanted so there was no letting down from me.
i was just thinking about this today! very relevant post! thanks for all the suggestions ladies!
I definitely sent a similar email response as above to most of our vendors just in case shit hit the fan and I needed to go back to one of them.
@Twista: @ashleed: Gold stars for you! And mad cool story: I totally met 2GE+HER! I called in to my local radio station to do a meet and greet and stick around to watch an interview and won! They were so sweet, especially Kevin. Unfortunately Michael wasn’t there because he was sick but Noah, Alex, and Kevin were! We got pictures and autographs and talked to them all. I am the biggest 2GE+HER freak! hahaha.
I considered not e-mailing the vendors back but a lot of vendors put time and effort into making a price quote for us and e-mailing back and forth so I figured I had to. It was totally scary but I never got any e-mails back from them after that. Sounds like a lot of you got some pretty harsh e-mails! Not cool :/
I can’t find my cat! hahaha - when I read that title the song popped into my head! I loved 2ge+her!
lol. i love their calculus song the best. 
and you are so nice to your vendor-no-gos. I totally just never responded back to one. I’m horrible. Had I had your form letter I totally would have used it though. Useful!
As an invitation designer, I have to say my partner and I always appreciate an email either way. Our schedules are really tight and very carefully planned, and we do spend a lot of time preparing quotes, doing research, and compiling proposals for invitation suites. It can be very irksome to put at least a few hours work in for a potential client and then never hear back at all. Just perspective from the other side!
I would say that was one of the hardest things I have had to do! I sent an email to wedding planners that we decided not to go with and I felt horrible! Now that we have a wedding planner she does all of the dirty work! Thank God!
As a vendor, it is helpful if you say where you went so they know the competition and what they can do to under cut them next time or at least match their pricing to get more business. I think your letter is great and its really nice to let people know when you found someone else so the vendor doesnt sit around wondering.
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Mrs. Glasses, Tokyo/Los Angeles, CA Age and Occupation: 24, English teacher Fiance's Age and Occupation: 27, English teacher Engagement Date: September 2008 Wedding Date: October 2010 Venue: Parents' backyard About Me: I’m an expat living in Tokyo. I’ve been in Japan for almost three years now, where I met my fantastic English fiance. It’s time to leave Japan, so we are planning a fun, intimate, backyard ceremony back home in the suburbs of L.A. in October. Our wedding will be a mix of my love for food, beer, my Japanese culture, and Mr. G’s Englishness. We are on a tiny budget and DIYing almost everything!
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