Goldilocks Syndrome

Goldilocks Syndrome

August 25th, 2010 @ 10:33 am by Mrs. Zebra
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You know how when you start dress shopping and everyone is offering support and advice, one phrase is always uttered? “You’ll know right away when you find THE one.” I got lucky with the feeling twice during my dress hunt. Don’t ask! That’s for another post. Some women feel it once, and some never will.
Let’s dig deeper into this elusive feeling. How about your future husband: did you have that feeling? Was it love at first sight? Did you hate him at first and it took a little persuasion? Or, were you just friends that blossomed into something so much more? Do you have that “it’s just right” feeling or are you still unsure? For me it was option three. We met, struck up a friendship, helped each other through some rough patches, and then made a go at it. Sure, there was a time when I wasn’t sure if it was going to last; I was 16 after all. I’m not a fan of stereotypes; “first love,” “high school sweethearts,” or anything that begins with the word “young” or “puppy” will generally cause some subconscious eye twitch. In truth, I don’t know when the time came for me to utter the words “he’s the ONE.” It was an evolution, I suppose, just like the wedding…but I digress.

With the two most important aspects of the wedding—the love and the dress—both perfect, what about all that other stuff that goes into putting this shindig together? I admit I was oh so naïve when I started thinking, big deal—book the vendors, have the party. I am currently learning how to emboss the invitations—call me converted! That being said, I’m constantly searching for “that feeling” on everything from card stock to bridesmaid dresses. I pass over everything that doesn’t give me butterflies at first sight. My love for the groom had to blossom, so why am I expecting this with all things wedding? The answer lies within a nutshell: I’m a procrastinator. Rather than research everything to death to make sure I have the best bang for my buck, I allow my feelings to take over. My just-right-ometer turns things from perfection to poop in 2.5 seconds. This has gotten me into some interesting predicaments during our engagement.

Did you choose your wedding dress based on emotion or calculation? Something in between?

Tags: providence, relationships |

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14 Responses to “Goldilocks Syndrome”

Bee

Miss Glasses (message) 2,741 posts, Sugar bee

Honestly, there are SO many choices out there I keep thinking “Meh, I’ll find something better.” and then it’s “Oh crap I need to do this now I’ll just pick this one!” which basically is how all my decisions are made

8/25/10 @ 11:03 am (reply)

Member

bRooklynRocks (message) 3,767 posts, Honey bee

Um, don’t have a dress yet… but I think I’m going to be one of those people who don’t really wait for the butterflies. I’m very very decisive like that. Anyhow, welcome to the bee. Looking forward to your posts.

8/25/10 @ 11:13 am (reply)

Member

MissMusic (message) 302 posts, Helper bee

I always go based on my instinct too. Even when I am shopping my family laughs because I can stand in the middle of a store, spin around looking once and know whether or not I will find something to buy there lol. However, I will say when I found my wedding dress there was a lot of stress and pressure around it so I did not immediately cry and purchase it. I tried it on, loved it, but needed to be practical and try on others first. Then I tried it on again and realized it was the one. I will not even look at other dresses now because I know I love the one I got and I refuse to be a two dress bride!

8/25/10 @ 11:14 am (reply)

Member

Texacali (message) 109 posts, Blushing bee

I didn’t have “the feeling” when I found my dress. (I had actually tried it on once before and passed on it…only to come back to it later.) It was more the feeling of “oh yes, this works!” I had identified a set of criteria I wanted and that was the dress that fit them the best and made me feel great. I have had that heart stopping, “this is perfect!” feeling with some decor elements though…so I guess I’m a toss-up.

8/25/10 @ 11:21 am (reply)

Bee

Mrs. Pug (message) 3,753 posts, Honey bee

oh i feel badly that i commented on you two being “high school sweethearts” on your first post! but i really do think it’s sweet! i tried to use my just-right-o-meter until i got to the point where i was just like f* it.

8/25/10 @ 11:35 am (reply)

Bee

Miss Argyle (message) 2,516 posts, Sugar bee

A bit of emotion, mixed with how I wanted to look and feel on my wedding day. I really wanted my dress to be a reflection of me, most importantly. And our wedding, second.

8/25/10 @ 11:37 am (reply)

Bee

Miss Elephant (message) 6,182 posts, Bee Keeper

I really liked my dress the first time I tried it on, but I kept shopping. The love for it grew when I realized I kept comparing dresses to it.

8/25/10 @ 12:03 pm (reply)

Member

aruka11 (message) 615 posts, Busy bee

I tried on so many dresses and no butterflies. It was logical and pretty enough As for the man - well, we just knew!

8/25/10 @ 12:16 pm (reply)

Bee

Miss Seashell (message) 1,713 posts, Bumble bee

My wedding dress selection was more of waiting for a sense of, “this is EXACTLY what I always thought I’d wear on my wedding day”. And I found it.

8/25/10 @ 12:21 pm (reply)

10.

Member

BelaBBear (message) 85 posts, Worker bee

I had “the feeling” when I saw my dress — before I even put it on — but the bad thing about “the feeling” is that it makes you completely irrational! My dress was WAY over my budget, but I just couldn’t get past “the feeling.” Still paying for that sucker. =)

8/25/10 @ 12:28 pm (reply)

11.

Member

airythia (message) 344 posts, Helper bee

i didn’t get a “gasp this is the one” feeling when i first put on my dress, but as i was wearing it, it just felt more and more right. the amusing part was that my friend and i pulled it from the rack thinking “o that looks weird we’ll give it a try for the heck of it.” jokes on me!

i know what you mean about the “young” and “puppy love” thing. FI and i dated in high school and i just got tired of the stereotypes and “words of wisdom” that people pushed on me when they found out we started dating in high school.

8/25/10 @ 12:43 pm (reply)

12.

Bee

Miss Zebra (message) 1,044 posts, Bumble bee

The dress experience is soooo different for everyone. I like to hear that you know yourselves well enough to know you might not feel it, and that that’s okay.

@MissMusic: Get out of my head! I think you are my shopping twin.

@misspug: I’ll let that one slide. DONT let it happen again. muahh hahaha who’s got the power now?

@argyle: I can’t wait to see it! I love the invites btw.

@belabbear: I like to call that wedding roullette!

@airythia: don’t get me started on unsolicited advice haha. The high school sweet heart pity face is something I come to dread. But then there are some people who don’t even bat an eyelash.

8/25/10 @ 5:31 pm (reply)

13.

Member

jordynrose (message) 6,351 posts, Bee Keeper

I found the dress I loved and the very first store, but I did not get “the feeling” and I did not buy it either. I definitely shopped around a bit more, and then went back to it.

8/25/10 @ 8:07 pm (reply)

14.

Guest

That’s The Dress Feeling x 2 | Weddingbee

[...] one of my first posts, I told you about my multiple “this is the dress” feelings and never elaborated further. Ladies! Do not stress about this magical (and elusive) feeling. Do [...]

9/24/10 @ 10:15 am (reply)