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Even before Mr. Starfish proposed I watched a lot of wedding shows. I loved watching Whose Wedding is it Anyways?, Say Yes to the Dress, Platinum Brides, etc. After Mr. Starfish proposed, it was finally time to start planning our own wedding after months of watching others.
I feel like you hear this a lot: people begin planning a wedding and they are totally shocked by how expensive they are. We had the reverse effect. We knew how expensive they could get. Both of us knew this, so there weren’t any shocking moments where we asked, “THIS COSTS WHAT???”
When you watch shows like Say Yes to the Dress, it kind of gets in your head that you can’t get a nice dress unless you spend upwards of $5k.
You’d hear, “Your dress budget is $4k? Sorry, we don’t have anything in your price range.” Luckily, I knew this wasn’t true. I’ve been to a lot of weddings, and over time, I’ve kind of picked up on how much things cost, and what’s “appropriate”. Mr. Starfish hasn’t been to a lot of weddings (well, not before he met me, anyway). His entire foundation of what a wedding costs has come from his glimpses of shows like Say Yes to the Dress and Platinum Weddings. He’s never actually sat down and watched one, but since I watch them fairly often, he gets glimpses here and there. I knew a lot of these weddings were over-the-top, but they still formed my idea of weddings, and apparently they formed Mr. Starfish’s, too.
I never really realized this until I called him after my first dress appointment. I found my dream dress, but it was about $200 over budget. I promised myself I wouldn’t go over budget, but I loved it so much. I called Mr. Starfish and told him I went over budget. He asked what it cost, and when I told him, he asked, “That’s it?”
This confused me. He proceeded to tell me that he thought I’d spend at least $5K on a dress. I asked him if he’d even looked at the wedding budget spreadsheet (that I spent quite some time making). His response was that he didn’t, but he trusted me.
So, thank you Say Yes to the Dress, for making me look like I saved a ton of money on our wedding budget, when actually I went over. 
Were you or your fiance surprised by any wedding costs? What shaped your idea of the cost of weddings?
Oh my word! My poor FI was the opposite of yours. Our budget is a measly $5,000… and I’m pretty sure he had a mini-heart attack at first. Once he saw the breakdown of how much stuff costs, even our “budget-conscious” stuff, he understood that it has to cost SOMETHING. Poor guy! 
same for me!! When I called my Fi to tell him the price he was delighted!
He was positive that it would be have a battle over a 6k$ dress that i “just HAD to have”
He always thought dresses were at least 4 or 5 k$….again…thank you TLC !
The same thing happened to me when I told my FI that my dress was $800 under budget. He would sit and watch SYTTD with me occasionally and thought I was going to spend around $7,000 on mine. haha oh wow! Needless to say he was very surprised when i told him mine was $1200.
When I first began looking at dresses I thought it was normal for a dress to be in the $5,000 range. But when I started going to more and more stores I realized that wasn’t the case. Thats so funny!
My FI was the same way! He thought I was going to spend 5k plus on a dress and when I told him it was under 1200 he was happy and than even happier when my parents offered to buy it for me!
Yeah I don’t get it, but Thanks Kleinfields and TLC, lol! I mean i think the majority of us are more between the 1-2 K price range than the +5K, right…?
jajaja, i had the same reaction with my FH! He was like waht thats all for the dress and i’m like *black stare, blink, blink*, then was like ok then i’ll get it 
Oh man, I really knew nothing about the expense of weddings before planning one. I will admit that I watched all of those shows, (sometimes with Mr. E catching a glimpse) and I kind of laugh to myself that I’m sitting there watching someone spending $10K+ on a dress.
I completely know what you are saying!!! Unfortunately my dress shopping experience wasn’t as fabulous in the price department. My parents were paying for the dress and they had NO IDEA what a good budget was. I set my budget at $1500… they were looking at $300 dresses… and even had me try on a $79 dress {cringe}. I finally broke them, and showed them the type of dress I wanted and they immediately understood… and I made them watch one episode of “Say Yes to the Dress.” lol.
My fiance was shocked by high prices, but not too many things surprised me - flowers were WAY more than I thought.
One exception was the dress - SYTTD also convinced me that dresses started at $1500 - knowing my taste, I was worried I would hate anything under $3k. I was so surprised and relieved to find so many gorgeous dresses b/t $800-$1200!
When I told Mr. E I had set my dress budget at $1,000 he scoffed at me. Scoffed I say! He said I would never find something I liked at such a low price point. Then I believe he scoffed some more.
So when I exceeded my self set budget by $400, he still thought the price was low and didn’t even cringe. And like all of you, I have TLC and Kleinfeld’s to thank for it. Hi-freaking-larious.
FI said that to me too! We occasionally watch SYTTD together, to balance out his making me sit through all the Discovery/Science channel shows he watches. When I told him that my dress was $775 he couldn’t believe it. Then he asked me if it was short because it was so much less than the dresses he has seen on SYTTD.
Ha we were the same exact way. Actually when we bought my dress (my parents paid for it), FMIL thought it cost at least $5,000 when in reality it was priced around $2000, but we got s discount because we paid in full. It’s nice being prepared for overpriced services and goods! lol
LOL! I wish I could get mine to watch SYTTD. He gets grossed out by those shows. haha. I’m trying my best to find a beautiful dress for about $800.00.
Rentals and flowers have been the big surprises to me. I knew weddings were expensive, but I didn’t really know HOW expensive until I started planning. Maybe it’s because we decided to do a tented backyard reception, but those rentals are ridiculous!! It’s the biggest part of my budget by far! Sigh… I totally agree about SYTTD, it skews your perception of what is reasonable to pay for a dress. My FI also expected me to pay $5K+ on my dress so he was very supportive when I got a $5K gown at a sample sale with a 60% discount. Yay!
As a New Yorker, the thought, the thought of paying ANYTHING full price makes me break out in hives. I think maybe milk, eggs, fruit. I get EVERYTHING else on sale. I will be going to Kleinfelds, then I shall jump on them on their sample sale. Same as Amsale.. but I’ll probably get my dress used. I’m just freaking out over these gratuities and taxes. So freaking expensive 
I don’t usually watch the wedding shows… I used to live with my guy and I didn’t want to make him laugh at me. Now I do watch them, I feel that they are over the top. ESPECIALLY Platinum Weddings.
Ha, I had the same experience, but with my Dad, not my husband. My dad got sucked into Say Yes to the Dress by my Mom, so when I called him from the fitting room to tell him what my dream dress cost, he was ecstatic.
lol my dad! My mom bought my dress and apparently they hadn’t talked about the budget before hand. I came in UNDER budget by falling in love with an $800 dress and my dad was shocked. He, too, thought that a dress would cost like 5k. Needless to say, he was pleasantly surprised.
yeah I was all prepared to spend $5K on a dress because of the show and when I told my future parent’s in law, they freaked out on me. Everytime I see them they would say you know, you only wear this once. The money can be spent on X. Even when I got my dress for $2K I still let them believe I spent way more on it.
But if you do plan to go to Klienfields you’ll have to spend that much. I went in with a budget of $3K and they had nothing for me. all the dress I picked out on their website was discontinued and they weren’t even able to pick out anything that was simliar to the ones I picked (from their website. i didn’t even bring any magazine pictures in). I had to go to the stock room and pick out dresses, none which I was in love with.
My partner & I have been bummed and shocked, not by high prices in general, but by how high prices are for things we thought WOULD make things more economical. “Rustic”, “DIY”, “outdoor” — you would think that out in the country, at a camp, a friend’s backyard, or in a barn would be cheaper than a fancy gilded ballroom, but WOW — not really.
It could be because this is New England, and something as mundane to us as autumn is money-making “leaf-peeper” season to tourists, or because the localvore foodie movement has made farm & country now chic and trendy.
I saw venues with site fees for their barns listed upwards of 4-7K. I had one summer camp tell me they required a 125 person, 18K minimum. Total sticker shock. And don’t get me started on tent rental fees — those can make any outdoor event outrageously priced.
I was also shocked by the dress fitting fees — my girlfriend spent over $750 just on alterations for her gown! Keep those alteration costs in mind, they are brutal, and they certainly charge much more than usual for bridal gowns vs. other garments.
That’s great, I make FI watch all of those good wedding shows with me too
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Mrs. Starfish, Boston/Newport Age and Occupation: 25, Operations Assistant Fiance's Age and Occupation: 25, Sales Engagement Date: October 8, 2008 Wedding Date: October 2010 Venue: The Atlantic Beach Club About Me: I'm a perfectionist who is a planner at heart. I don't do well with surprises. I love planning, crafting, Newport RI, family and friends, and most importantly, Mr. Starfish---all of which will be big components in our October wedding in our favorite little city by the sea.
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