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So, I was coming off a huge high from our amazing ceremony. Burger and I ushered ourselves into the back room, followed closely by our bridal party and family members. I remember being so enamored with what had just happened—”Ohmygod we’re married! This is my husband! I’m so thirsty…”
It seemed like only minutes had passed when our photographers entered the room and said that it was time for formal portraits. Once we were back on the altar, one photographer said, “OK, your ceremony was REALLY LONG so we have got to move QUICKLY on these portraits.”
*senses threat to rigid schedule, enters PANIC MODE*
I immediately transformed into a Bridezilla Drill Sargeant. You see, between the two of us, Burger and I have 100+ immediate family members who needed to organize themselves for these pictures, and fast. My poor mother/in laws/extended family were trying to talk to one another (since it was their first opportunity to), and I was bossing them around and telling them where to stand. I wish I had just let the photographer do the announcing, but I’m a huge control freak. Hindsight, ya know?
After our families had been released (and I’m sure that’s what it felt like), my cousins, the parents of one of our flower girls, asked if we needed the little ones for any more pictures. THANK GOODNESS they did, or else we never would have gotten this very, very traditional picture of our bridal party, which just so happens to be my favorite. 
Maybe I’m a traditional bride after all?
Then it was time to head out to campus to take some more pictures!
Our photographer had a great idea to attempt an Abbey Road type of picture, but with 20 people, it just ended up looking like a hot mess. It makes me smile though, especially BIL Burger on the left there.
I love the candid pictures of us walking back to the trolley, though!
Getting these pictures entailed walking around outside—in heels, without coats. It was 50 degrees that afternoon, which to me was quite comfortable. My bridesmaids, however, were freezing cold, and a few of them couldn’t stop talking about it. I think bridesmaid L’s face says it all.
Enter bridezilla moment number two. I know that this is completely irrational, but with some of my friends being so uncomfortable (from being cold and their feet hurting from their shoes), my feelings were hurt. I had given my bridesmaids complete and total freedom in choosing their outfits. They could have worn long dresses and flip flops if they’d wanted to—I really didn’t care at all! So it kind of put a damper on my day to hear that they were so uncomfortable—like I was doing it to them on purpose. My frustration was caught on film:
I didn’t say anything at the time, but I did end up limiting our group shots to one location in order to get them back into the warmth and comfort of the trolley. Unfortunately, I ended up losing it later in the evening on one of my friends who hadn’t been saying anything, which I regret immensely and still feel terrible about to this day.
On the bright side, the pictures are absolutely lovely.
While the ladies were being photographed, the guys were holding their scarves and just happened to put them on as a joke, making for a really cute picture.
After we finished our group shots, Burger and I got a million pictures of just us, and then we grabbed our siblings for some—that’s coming up next!
Cheeseburger Tip: Deep breaths. It’s really true what people say, just take a deep breath. Had I done that, maybe this portion of our day would have gone a bit differently. Or, maybe if I had just calmly told my friends that they were hurting my feelings by constantly saying how uncomfortable they were (though it probably seemed completely irrational to them), they would have stopped and we all could have been happy. I don’t know. My advice? It’s your wedding day and none of the drama matters in the long run, so ignore it. Just let it roll off your back and enjoy the time with your new spouse!
Did you have any bridezilla moments on your big day that you now regret?
Catch up!
All Pictures by the lovely and talented Jessica Ames
Wow, I hadn’t even considered putting extended family in the formals….I can see that being like herding cats….!
If it makes you feel any better, Cheeseburger, the complaining would have really hurt my feelings too, for the same reason it hurt yours–it would seem like it’s something you’re inflicting on them. When I was a bridesmaid for my best friend, we did a really long pre-wedding portrait session in Union Station, and my feet were shredding my toes, and by the end, I was getting really tired and hungry–but I feel like part of your responsibility as a bridesmaid and a friend is to plant a HUGE smile on your face and not say a negative word to your friend on her wedding day.
Your pictures are lovely! Don’t worry about ‘losing your cool’…you were going through an emotional day that was suppose to be about you and Mr. Burger..and when you hear complaints and people not just sucking it up and keeping quiet it would hurt anyone’s feelings!
I’ve had a similar situation with bridesmaids complaints making me feel bad (even though I doubt they even realized it made me feel bad)… although I STILL haven’t said anything.
Total agreement with Miss Octo! I haven’t commented in ages but just had to here. I was many times a BM before being a bride and I firmly believe you shouldn’t complain one little bit on the wedding day at all (to the bride and groom). Sometimes between BMs you gotta let off a little steam but NOT to the ones you’re there to support. Having said that, I also think it’s too bad that you freaked on one of them, but mistakes happen. Hopefully you’re good enough friends that she can accept an apology and see your behaviour for what it was–bride brain!
On a day when you’ve been responsible for planning every minute detail, it’s easy to take it personally when someone complains about absolutely anything. Don’t worry about it! I was lucky that everyone was positive on my wedding day, but I can see exactly where you’re coming from.
Impressive that you herded all those people around for the formal portraits! All I did during our formals was stand there and grin and sneak sips of my mojito that a bridesmaid had brought me in between shots. I recommend that to future brides! Easy for me to say, though; your immediate family is about the size of my entire wedding 
Derrr, just realized I meant to say that my SHOES were shredding my toes. And they were. I had to put four Band-Aids on before the ceremony. And my friend does not know that because I didn’t say a word about i!
as always, thank you for all of the support I was nervous about writing this post, but it’s not always perfect, and I think it’s good to keep it in perspective.
@Miss Octopus: can I hug you through the screen? this was hard for me to write - I appreciate the support
@Aubergold: thank you!
@West Coast Bride: yes, luckily she did forgive me, but i definitely hurt her feelings - it was a huge misunderstanding. 
@LittlestBirds: best. idea. ever. we had alcohol on the trolley, so that helped during that part for sure!!
@bridesmomma: thanks for the sweet words
@Carlee: I agree with you, no one knew they made me feel badly… I think they just thought I was mad (some of them were mad at me for getting mad at them)
I love the purple color of those dresses. Your bridesmaids might have been complaining, but they look fab!
i became a bit of a drill sergeant myself during portrait time (my photog kept saying, “we’re okay, we’re okay”–no matter, buddy, i’m takin’ over), and i only had about 10 people to herd!
I can only imagine how hard and frustrating it must have been to try to organize so many people–first your huge families, and then your fairly large bridal party. Even with the tension you wrote about, it doesn’t show up in the photos at all. They all look lovely!
Despite the drama, all of these pictures turned out incredible! You’d never know anyone was cold or that they’re feet were killing them.
my bridesmaids were cold on my wedding day too. and they mentioned it many times and made me feel bad for getting them out of the limo to take pictures. oh well, my husband and i just ended up taking more pictures alone then! it was 47 degrees on our wedding day. I don’t know why there were so cold. My bm had shawls and long dresses. I had a strapless dress and I was fine!
Oh boy. I am totally remembering shivering and possibly complaining about the cold for my FSIL’s wedding….It was an outdoor, late October wedding in upstate NY and we were all freezing! No shawls. I think we were all just making jokes about it - hopefully I did not hurt her feelings! Thanks for reminding me to be a good bridesmaid and keep my mouth shut!
This is why we’re doing all our formals beforehand, with a first look. I can take all your stress to heart and definitely try to avoid that situation! Thanks for confirming my suspicions
@eeper: in their defense, it was chilly (I was fine, but I am always hot). Jokes would have been ok! This was like “OHMYGOD I AM FREEZING!!!!!!!” over. and over. I sometimes just wonder what would have happened if it had been even colder (which it absolutely could have been!)
Wowza, you have a big immediate family! Mine is much smaller, but I was super annoyed with how slowly they got in place for the formal pictures!
Sorry your bridal party let you down a little by complaining but the pictures you did were so beautiful.
I am a control freak too, and you have a rather large wedding party- that would make me go bridezilla too! Seriously, coordinating that many people, something is bound to not go right. And I completely understand your reasons for being upset with your BMs too. Well, you look stunning, and damnit that’s what its all about anyway!
Great pictures! We don’t have many of the traditional pictures because our officiant was 45 minutes late. Looking at the pictures, so many were missed and I’m so mad. It’s hard to look at other peoples’ weddings because it was so hurried. The rest of our wedding was fun, but I did have one yelling moment when I heard about the officiant.
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Mrs. Cheeseburger, Baltimore, MD/State College, PA Age and Occupation: 25, Medical Student Fiance's Age and Occupation: 25, Medical Student Engagement Date: June 28, 2008 Wedding Date: March 2010 Venue: Catholic Church Ceremony & Hotel Reception About Me: I'm a passionate girl from Pittsburgh, currently living in Baltimore for school, who loves Penn State, seeing movies, football, thunderstorms, black and white photos, Christmas, good beer, my amazing friends and family, and of course, my mister! We met, fell in love, got engaged, and will be married at our alma mater (go lions!) in a traditional Catholic ceremony followed by a hotel reception with lots of DIY details. It means so much to have our families and friends meet at our favorite place on earth to celebrate our love for one another - I truly couldn't ask for anything more!
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