Keeping My Cool

Keeping My Cool

September 3rd, 2010 @ 6:01 pm by Mrs. Sand Dollar
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So here we are, at 22 days out. Most brides are finishing up any DIY projects, finalizing contracts, and getting payments together. Me? I’m just trying to keep from running around like a chicken with my head cut off. We were dealt a hard blow, guys. Our band double booked us.

Our crazy-awesome, all-our-guests-were-excited, favorite band screwed us over, three weeks before our wedding day. And I’m not gonna lie, it sucks.

Mr. SD grew up with the drummer. In fact, he was even supposed to be in the wedding party (and is featured on our programs, which I REFUSE to reprint and cut and glue. Ain’t gonna happen!). We had already paid them, and unfortunately only had a handshake agreement due to the whole friendship thing. No contracts, nada. It’s partially our fault for that one, but we’ve talked about it so many times over the phone, and through email, and at their last gig at the end of July. So it’s not like this wedding snuck up on them. They just blew off writing down the date and signed a contract somewhere else. So, what are we going to do?

Option 1 - If we get the money back:

We’ve got a band that fits the bill. My boss’s husband Will was pretty big in Germany some years ago, and started up an American band to play gigs here and there. Overall, I’m sure the music will be better, as they play mostly cover songs. The old band played all their own music, but as all the guests were big fans, we all knew it.

Oh, well, I’ll take this silver lining. It looks pretty promising that we’ll get the money next week; then, we can book these guys for real. The good part here is that the guitarist is already a confirmed guest, so I know he’ll make it.

Option 2 - No Money Returned:

We iPod the whole shebang. Will (our replacement) said he would happily play for us for free, but I’m not sure on just having a solo guitarist. Plus, if I can’t pay him, I’d rather he enjoy himself as a guest than have to take on such a big job. We’ll see. I’m really hoping we get that check.

So, lesson learned…ALWAYS get a contract. Don’t listen when your mister says it’s all taken care of. I’m just thanking my lucky stars this happened with the band, which I had a great plan B for, as opposed to, say, the guy cooking our food, in which case we’d be SOL.

Anybody else out there hit with a surprise cancellation? How did you deal with it?

Tags: band, houston, music |

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31 Responses to “Keeping My Cool”

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Member

TheFutureMcBride (message) 4,461 posts, Honey bee

This happened to us at 5 weeks and less than 2 weeks. I mean, not the contract double booked, but the venue said they booked them for us and they didn’t. In the end, my Dad, who is radio, did all our music. It wasn’t perfect, but it worked. Good luck! I know you can figure something out with all your resourcefulness.

9/3/10 @ 6:25 pm (reply)

Bee

Miss Zebra (message) 1,044 posts, Bumble bee

You better get that damn money back! Want a New England snatch to come down and wrangle them up?

9/3/10 @ 6:29 pm (reply)

Member

CorgiTales (message) 9,861 posts, Bee Keeper

Yikes!!! I would be SO upset! So glad you guys are handling it well though.

9/3/10 @ 6:34 pm (reply)

Bee

Miss Hippo (message) 1,008 posts, Bumble bee

That is a major bummer. But… I don’t understand why there’s even a possibility that you won’t get your money back… ? I mean, if this guy was a groomsman, won’t he give you your money back?

Aww man, Sand Dollar. I hope this works out for you… Deep breath.

9/3/10 @ 6:48 pm (reply)

Member

Farfromachildbride (message) 1,006 posts, Bumble bee

I’m with Miss Z and Miss H. Why in the world would you guys NOT get your money back??? It’s the band’s fault, not yours.

9/3/10 @ 6:58 pm (reply)

Member

PinkNZ (message) 10 posts, Newbee

That’s so unprofessional and plain rude. Not getting your money back isn’t an option!! Baaaad karma for them. Want us to send them hate mail?? It will work out in your favour- like you said, probably best that you get a band that plays music everyone (even older family members) can jam out to.

9/3/10 @ 7:07 pm (reply)

Member

SoonToBCJ (message) 98 posts, Worker bee

That happened to us too, luckily we have plenty of time to figure something else out, but we were way bummed. My FI proposed at a friend’s concert on the beach in Mexico, and our friend said several times during the trip just to let him know a date and he’d play for us… and then since we’ve given him a date…. we haven’t heard anything from him. We’re pretty sure he’s embarassed for committing the band to something he didn’t have the right to.

9/3/10 @ 7:13 pm (reply)

Member

MissSnowBunny (message) 46 posts, Newbee

you seriously need to get your money back, especially if you’ve had handshakes and emails, etc. I don’t understand why you wouldn’t?!

I’m sorry for your misfortune and glad you shared your experience- we’re having a friend do our photography and have also just had emails and handshakes- time for an awkward conversation and a contract!

9/3/10 @ 7:20 pm (reply)

Member

Encore (message) 680 posts, Busy bee

I would think that not getting your money back would create a friendship-endangering situation. I’m just glad you have a good Plan B.

We didn’t have a contract for our venue. We know the owner and trust him and he is so nice. But after a few months it really started to wig me out, so we switched venues. I feel a bit like a witch, but I’m a witch who can sleep at night. Stories like this remind me of why we switched. We have a contract with the new place, thank heavens.

9/3/10 @ 7:30 pm (reply)

10.

Member

tea (message) 7,263 posts, Bee Keeper

i agree, there is no way you SHOULDN’T get your money back. so option 1 sounds totally feasible. sorry this had to happen to you so close to the wedding but you’re right, at least it was for something you already had a back up for!

9/3/10 @ 7:40 pm (reply)

11.

Bee

Miss Elephant (message) 6,177 posts, Bee Keeper

You should definitely get your money back, and thankfully it sounds like you have a good plan B!

9/3/10 @ 8:09 pm (reply)

12.

Bee

Miss Knitting (message) 1,072 posts, Bumble bee

That sucks. What a jerk! I hope he gives the money back, since he’s a pretty big scumbag if he doesn’t.

9/3/10 @ 8:13 pm (reply)

13.

Member

Miss_Riley (message) 428 posts, Helper bee

Wait the drummer was supposed to be IN your wedding and they “forgot” to write down the date. I call BS on that one!!

I’m so sorry this happend to you guys though and glad you were able to find an acceptable alternative.

9/3/10 @ 8:46 pm (reply)

14.

Member

eloquence08 (message) 113 posts, Blushing bee

From a legal standpoint, and hopefully it won’t come to this, keep a file of your email correspondence, even text messages. Some courts will acknowledge the correspondence as a contract, even if it was not a formal contract. Same for the money if you have a copy of the checks, or paypal transfers, those can all count in your favor. It really sucks that someone that is a friend would mess up in such a huge way.

9/3/10 @ 8:50 pm (reply)

15.

Bee

Miss Lioness (message) 815 posts, Busy bee

Boo hiss! That’s terrible. You’re definitely handling it gracefully though…I hope it all works out!

9/3/10 @ 8:50 pm (reply)

16.

Bee

Miss Glasses (message) 2,741 posts, Sugar bee

What!!!! OMG! You’d better get your money back! I mean, they aren’t providing any services so they need to give you your money back! Or else that’s like theft! Fight for it SD! Ummm, this makes ME very angry! I hope it all goes okay!

9/3/10 @ 8:57 pm (reply)

17.

Member

Swiss Miss to Bee (message) 1,004 posts, Bumble bee

ooooh, that just. Sucks! I hope you get your money back, you have to!! That would just be crazy!

9/3/10 @ 10:13 pm (reply)

18.

Guest

Sharon

Yeah, why won’t they give you your money back?

9/3/10 @ 10:30 pm (reply)

19.

Member

alvina (message) 807 posts, Busy bee

why wouldn’t they give you your money back?! they’re the ones who double booked you guys!!! o_O

9/4/10 @ 12:08 am (reply)

20.

Bee

Miss Sand Dollar (message) 1,305 posts, Bumble bee

@Miss Zebra: Yes Zeeb. You get right on it! I don’t think they’ve understood anger until they’ve messed with a woman from the north (I grew up in Norwood, not too far from Boston, so I feel ya!)

And as far as the whole money sitch, here’s the deal. We didn’t pay them in cash, unfortunately. They’ve hired me to do all their tshirt printing (which I’ve done all on my Yudu, hooray crafts!) so instead of paying that way, I bought them $500 worth of shirts and they only paid for the printing. And they’ve already proven to be disorganized, pothead slackers, so who really knows. And though Mr. SD and the drummer hung out pretty much every day from elementary to high school, since he’s taken up with this whole band thing he’s totally fallen off the map. Can’t keep a phone bill paid, gets drunk every night. It’s a shame, and it really sucks it turned out this way. I really hope we do get paid, but it’s a possibility they’ll flake on this too.

9/4/10 @ 1:13 am (reply)

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