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So I’ve known for a while that I’ve been wearing the wrong bra, thanks to that tape measure stapled to my head. The problem is tit-slingers are damn expensive, so I could only imagine what a custom one would cost me. We started Weight Watchers at work in January, and I lost about eight pounds, making it painfully apparent that my 34D over-the-shoulder-boulder-holders weren’t fitting anymore. So finally, after YEARS of saying I was going to do it, got a profesh TIT FIT!!! YAY! What is my official size? 30F! Wowsers! This was not really a wedding-related task because my dress has a corset (so no bra necessary), but it will certainly make my back and my posture happier. So the moral of the story, ladies? Get your knockers checked out! I went to Deborah Winthrop in Portsmouth, Rhode Island. Her shop was voted Rhode Island’s Best in 2009 (which is a pretty big deal around here). They do have all the under-accouterments for your wedding as well: Spanx, booby cutlets, “I Do” undies, etc.
Update: OK, I’ve been wearing the bra for a month, and my back has started to hurt again. The part of the bra that straps around my torso is perfection. Nice and tight. However, the cups are a little wonky. If I bend forward you can see…well, everything. So my conclusion is that the cups aren’t lifting my girls. Meaning they are hanging out in the same spot regardless of whether or not I have a bra on. I think I need to go down a cup size or get a different bra style next time. Ugh! Never ending tit shit!
you just made water come out of my nose at work due to the use of “tit slingers”
might be a double post, but you just made water come out of my nose at work due to the use of “tit slingers”
You mentioned that you don’t need a bra for your corset back dress. Does that mean I don’t need one either? I hadn’t really thought about it and assumed I’d need the bra from David’s Bridal.
Lol - best NWR post ever. And I like how you refer to it as “tit shit” haha!
Haha! This brings me back to my own “Boobage” post — written from the other end of the endowed perspective, though. 
From a 38F - I feel your pain sistah. Try Le Mystiere Dream Tisha. They’ll wear out after about 6 months, but they’re the best I’ve found.
@aubrav: It depends on your dress. Some of them have a bra sewn into the dress, and others don’t have enough support in them. Try it both ways and see what you like best!
Try shifting brands, I’m a 32G (though the band is making me think I’m a 30H) and in some brands I need to go up or down cup sizes. Also play around with different cups. No matter how cute I think some balconettes are, the way my tissue is distributed I get the “floweth over” look which isn’t so cute.
Also, getting a bra altered isn’t that bad cost wise beyond the initial purchase price if you have a reasonable seamstress. Some underpinning stores (I drive 2 hours to mine) have one in-house, and mine gives priority to brides!
You must have seen the movie Beaches with Bette Midler and Barbra Hershey. If not you should, simply for the tit-sling and over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder song.
Well done you.
I found an amazing country town department store with a woman in her sixties, and the minute she looked at me - fully dressed- she called my size right. I’ve had perfect comfort in my bras ever since!
Fantasie, Freya and Lepel are brilliant, I find. But you do have to try on every feckin’ one - even within brands, sometimes a slightly different cut changes everything.
I’d be very wary about goin down a cup size tho: nothin worse than the dreaded four-boob look.
And God knows, not all boob measurers are great. Before I found my wonderwoman, another one (in a diff shop) told me I was a 44DD. Ha! Cop on woman. Turned out to be a 38G. Makes a hell of a difference!
Oh my God. This made me laugh out loud, which I desperately needed. And yes, I second JenBabe - I immediately thought of Beaches when I read over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder. Hilarious.
HAHAHAHAHA! I love your termonology. As another endowed woman, I feel your pain. I have never been fitted, but I probably should.
Thank you for posting this- It’s like you took mine and my best friend’s boobie dramas right out of our mouths!!
@emma5w: HHAHAHAHA I just you tubed that and it was the best 2:57 of my life! I love it!
@aubrav: I looked at my dress today and it has a lot of boning, not a corset. It works the same way. My seamstress told me I didn’t need a bra. Of course that was after I spent the $60 on the Victoria’s Secret strapless waist length bra.
@Mrs. Bruschetta: I went back and read it! Well done! Indeed, I love the look of a small bust. The grass is always greener…
Zeb, check out Intimacy at Copley in Boston…it’s totally worth the drive! They have crazy sizes, everything from 28AA to like 40-something K! They are really good at fitting you and finding you bras that fit, not just bras that are “your size,” depending on the brand! They are kinda pricey, but once you figure out what fits you, you can go online and find the same OTSBHs much cheaper!
Zoe and Co. in Westerly is also awesome - They discovered that though I’d been wearing a 38DD, I’m really a 36G! Who knew!
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Mrs. Zebra, Providence, RI Age and Occupation: 24 Marketing/Costume Designer Fiance's Age and Occupation: 26 Management/Firefighter Engagement Date: December 12, 2008 Wedding Date: March 2011 Venue: The Providence Biltmore About Me: I'm a small town New England girl with an affinity for procrastination, crossing the proverbial line, and putting her foot in her mouth. I'm a lover of history, all seasons, sewing and Incubus. I design costumes on the side for my old high school's theatre department, which is where I met my sexy man. Our motto for our Big Fat Lebanese/Portuguese/Irish near-300 person wedding is "the more the merrier"! We are marrying in a Catholic ceremony and are hammering out the details of our Victorian-inspired reception.
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