Weddingbee Blog

Yesterday I encountered one of the most wretched wedding creatures in all of the land: the “wedding whiner.” Believe it or not, I don’t normally enjoy talking about the wedding in public. Although I may find it an extremely entertaining subject, I realize most people ask out of politeness and don’t actually want to hear every decision I’ve made. I think that’s mostly why I started to blog (besides the historical documentation of this very exciting time). People can choose to read my ramblings if they find them interesting, or they can get the hell out. So, back to the wedding whiner…

Nightmaaaaare!

In fairness, I must say that she probably is a stark, type-A traditionalist with a big mouth, but I prefer wedding whiner or “WW.” When asked when I was getting married, WW took the opportunity to bring up her daughter’s impending nuptials. It started out innocently enough when the daughter informed WW that her shoes have a “bit of color.” The daughter must have been so nervous that her mom would flip at her dress fitting that she warned the bridal shop, so they nervously stared at WW the entire time. I politely told WW that it is a common trend now to wear colored shoes and that I, too, would be going the colored-shoes route. I was hoping that this would shut her up, but unfortunately I was not so lucky.

She then lowered her voice to a nearly inaudible level and told me that her daughter has big dreams about her wedding. They had a budget chat, and she told her daughter that Mom doesn’t stand for “made of money.” She then told me, approximately 15 times, that “the bank is closed.” She proceeded to attack every wedding decision the daughter made from not having a cake (which I can relate to) to the inner-city-venue choice. WW even badgered the reception-venue consultant with “what if” questions that ranged from going out of business to fires.

WW also has to attend (eye roll and exasperated gasp) a Sex and the City themed bridal shower. What ever is she supposed to buy that bride? I told her to buy cosmopolitan mix and martini glasses.

For a grand finale, she finished off the tirade with a lovely story about her friend’s wedding. Apparently, the mother of the bride fell down the stairs head first at the bridal shower and now has permanent brain damage. Her friend recently discussed with her that she cannot remember anything from her daughter’s “very expensive” wedding. This is the reason WW is going to hire a videographer, against her daughter’s wishes, as a “wedding present.”

I finally had enough, so I excused myself in order to, you know, get the fuck on with my life. She followed me out the door so she could show me a picture of her daughter’s shoes. She also told me that she was going to buy them in white, wear them to the wedding, and show them to her daughter. The shoes are too expensive for her, so she’s going to find something similar. By the way, the shoes are beautiful and so is her daughter’s dress, but WW never said anything kind.

I’ve said it a million times over and it still isn’t enough: Zeb and I are so incredibly, undeniably fortunate to have supportive parents. Conversations with wedding whiners make me feel extraordinarily grateful to have the families we do. Sure, our parents don’t enjoy every decision that we’ve made, but they speak up when the issue is important to them. Thanks Moms and Dads; we love you and thanks for loving us back.

Have you ever encountered a wedding whiner? Did you stick it to them or politely listen in disgust?