The Hassle of Being a LDB (Long Distance Bride)

The Hassle of Being a LDB (Long Distance Bride)

September 9th, 2010 @ 10:15 am by Mrs. Hippo
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Planning a wedding long distance is kinda a pain in the ass. For me, the biggest hassle is that there is only so much you can do from afar, so when I go to Dallas, I have to fit in a ridiculous amount of stuff in just a few days. If I don’t accomplish the things I need to when I’m there, I’m kinda screwed. That basically means I have to do a ton of pre-planning so that my time there is completely maximized. It feels pretty much like this:

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The second of my big wedding-planning trips is coming up next month, and with less than 200 days till the big day, I have a ton of things to get accomplished during this visit. Let me give you the rundown:

Take engagement photos: I still need to finalize my wardrobe for the shoot and figure out how King Hippo and I will coordinate. More details coming soon on this.
Find a DJ: I mentioned my failed attempt at finding a DJ here, and I have since scheduled interviews with two more DJs. Hopefully this round will be more successful. Thanks for all the suggestions, Dallas bees!
Finalize flowers: I have selected my florist and met with her once to talk in generalities, but during this visit we will hammer out all the details.
Hair trial: I have some ideas of what I want for my bridal ’do, but I’m definitely not certain. More on this coming soon, too.
Taste cakes and select a baker: This is by far the wedding task I’m looking the most forward to!
Meet with our officiant: We still haven’t fully crafted the most important part of the day, so I’m hoping this meeting will get us moving in the right direction.
Have my first dress fitting: I haven’t mentioned my dress at all, but I do have one. And I’m hoping that it’s in by the time I make the trip out to Dallas. Oh, dress…I can’t wait to see you again!
Find men’s attire: King Hippo needs to figure out what he and his guys are going to wear for the wedding. Since two of his four groomsmen are in Dallas, this trip would be the perfect time for them to get together and look at options, get measured, etc.
Meet with the hotel: I’ve already booked the hotel-room block for out-of-town guests, but I haven’t met my sales rep, since we’ve done everything over the phone and by e-mail. I’m meeting with her to take a tour of some spaces that I might be able to use for getting ready with my girls. King Hippo and I will have a suite at the hotel, but we need a place for both the guys and the girls to get ready, so I’m going to take a look at some other options within the hotel.
Conduct walk-through of ceremony venue: I need to take another look at the space to figure out the nitty-gritty of the ceremony logistics—things like where the girls and guys will be stationed before the ceremony, the location for things like programs, guestbook, card box, etc. Plus, the gallery has a built-in sound system that’s iPod compatible. I need to test it out for playing music as guests wander the gallery…
Meet with reception venue staff: I actually don’t think I really have to do anything with them since nearly everything can be handled by e-mail or phone, but I definitely want to stop by when I’m in town just to check in and make sure there aren’t any random changes I need to know about. Getting a little face time is never a bad thing.
Meet with event rentals company: I need to select table linens and confirm the room layout. More details on this coming, too!
See my friends: A must. Luckily we are staying with a couple of our friends while we are in town, so there will definitely be some late-night wine and catching up…Clearly, the best part of the trip.

Typing this list out makes me feel (a) more in control since I have a clear picture of what must be done and (b) a little nauseous. I’m hoping to get nearly everything I need finalized during this trip and then make one more visit out to Dallas the final month before the wedding.

Out of town brides, how many planning trips are you planning to make to your wedding locale?

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21 Responses to “The Hassle of Being a LDB (Long Distance Bride)”

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Member

LGenz (message) 3,789 posts, Honey bee

Ugh, this is way too familiar. I took a trip in March to look at venue/baker/dress/stationary. I have another trip in October to finalize band/florist/rehearsal dinner and move my dress. I have another trip planned in March for bridal shower and I’m sure a million other things.

9/9/10 @ 10:37 am (reply)

Member

MsBrooklynA (message) 2,681 posts, Sugar bee

Omg this sounds stressful! Props to you for finding time in your trip to get all of this handled!!

9/9/10 @ 10:54 am (reply)

Member

alphajuliet (message) 183 posts, Blushing bee

So I am a Long Distance Bride and I am a month and a half away. We did all our planning in two trips. One with FI and one without. I have a few little suggestions that worked well for us. Try and kill two birds with one stone if you can. We met our offciant at the resturant where we were planning our rehersal dinner. We ate cake for breakfast to cut down on time For DJ we went with the suggestion from the venue of their preferred vendor list. (if they have a preferred vendor list we asked outright to their social coordinator… “Who is your favorite” This drastically narrowed down a large list. We also asked the vendors we liked best (like our photographer) who they liked best since they are all in the wedding biz. As for groomsmen attire. Low and behold Men’s Wearhouse rents tuxes. We decided to go to the local store, pick out what we want and everyone can get measured in their own city and then pick up in the wedding city. It is making life so easy. Also for these trips I tried not to work out all the details… You just don’t have time. But there things you need to do in person- Like meet people and see things. But details can be done over email. Take lots of pictures!!!! You will forget things. For your hair trial have it in the morning and then wear the makeup and hair all day to see how it survives. (because mine didn’t!) Vendors are used to seeing folks wander around in updos… don’t worry about it. If you have questions don’t hesitate to pm me. I have learned alot through this process. Oh and as for seeing your friends which I highly suggest… maybe invite them along for some of this stuff… once again… multitask.

9/9/10 @ 11:15 am (reply)

Bee

Miss Glasses (message) 2,741 posts, Sugar bee

Your to do list looks a lot like ours. Sorry Hungry, I think Barrettes and I one-up you on being a LDB (I actually think B has 500 miles on me!) and I agree, it is a huge pain in the ass. It also makes me feel like a huge procrastinator because things have to happen a different way. I feel like people are getting sick of my inspiration posts and are thinking, “So are you actually having a wedding or what?” To-do lists are definitely vicious!

9/9/10 @ 11:29 am (reply)

Member

Kmale0402 (message) 58 posts, Worker bee

I’m a long distance bride and it is horrible! If it wasn’t such a huge inconvenience for ALL of my friends and family, I would be getting married in my current town, rather than my home town. But, my mom has been incredibly helpful, and willing to participate in any way I need her to. I have to make 3 extra trips to my hometown that I normally wouldn’t make. And, while I’m there for Christmas, I have to make lots of wedding appointments, rather than enjoy spending time with family. I just keep telling myself it is worth it.

9/9/10 @ 11:48 am (reply)

Member

Swiss Miss to Bee (message) 1,004 posts, Bumble bee

I’ve made quite a few trips….having a wedding planner has helped a lot though!! I was out of the country for the first 3 months of our engagement, so there’s no way I could have done it w/out her!!

9/9/10 @ 11:52 am (reply)

Bee

Miss Elephant (message) 6,182 posts, Bee Keeper

Wow, look at that list. But you’re right you need to pack in as much as you can. I’m not a long distance bride, but my MOH is. She planned her Texas wedding from Florida and made 3 trips back to Texas for planning.

9/9/10 @ 11:54 am (reply)

Member

missdancingfish (message) 16 posts, Newbee

Thanks for letting me know what I’m geting into I am getting married Oct 2011 in Michigan(my hometown) but live in South Carolina. I’m no sure how many trips I will be making back to MI. I’m suppose to be going back in the end of september but dont know if any wedding stuff will get done. Hopefully I will go dress shopping then since I havent done that. Good Luck to all the long distance brides

9/9/10 @ 12:32 pm (reply)

Guest

Teresa M

Drink your coffee, Miss Hippo!

9/9/10 @ 12:41 pm (reply)

10.

Member

nmeyer01 (message) 130 posts, Blushing bee

Oh Hippo this all seems too familiar. I’m taking a trip in a couple weeks and have meetings galore, as well as trying to fit in time with my friends and family. Good luck? I think? (:

9/9/10 @ 12:50 pm (reply)

11.

Bee

Miss Hippo (message) 1,008 posts, Bumble bee

@Miss Glasses: You’re too funny! I guess I shouldn’t complain. You and Barrettes have it way worse than I do!

9/9/10 @ 3:07 pm (reply)

12.

Bee

Miss Starfish (message) 1,924 posts, Buzzing bee

I’m only 1 1/2 ours away, but we just dont have time to get there a lot, so when we do, our schedules are jam packed! I’m amazed at your organization and energy!

9/9/10 @ 4:37 pm (reply)

13.

Bee

Miss Earrings (message) 2,477 posts, Buzzing bee

I so know how you feel! It sucks…I spend all my time at home (where the wedding will be) drowned in wedding projects, and then while Im at uni I feel like Im twiddling my thumbs while all this valuable time slips away! Uber frustrating.

9/9/10 @ 5:00 pm (reply)

14.

Member

SandraMarie_1986 (message) 1,363 posts, Bumble bee

Wow, that is one heck of a list but it looks like you’re super organized so you should be able to tackle some of those items off of it. But I definitely agree…late night chats with friends and wine…I miss those nights.

9/9/10 @ 5:58 pm (reply)

15.

Member

love (message) 121 posts, Blushing bee

Oh yea it is a BIG nightmare!! I have makeup trials like a day before the wedding. Its really hard. I dont recommend it to any bride

9/10/10 @ 12:12 am (reply)

16.

Member

bug-in-a-rug (message) 268 posts, Helper bee

We had our long-distance wedding last month (10 hour car ride or 1.25 hour plane ride away from where we live). We went to the city where the wedding was going to be a week in advance (hadn’t been there in months), thinking we’d have time to relax and spend time with family and friends who were in town. DID NOT HAPPEN. It was wedding errands all-day-everyday. They weren’t even big errands sometimes, but they still took up time nonetheless. That week was so tiring and stressful. I didn’t think I’d left that much to the last minute, but it all adds up. Like, vendor meetings, getting together things I waited to do because I didn’t want to haul tons of wedding crap out there (thinking I could just buy it there), family dinner with family who’s travelled a long way to get there, assembling favors because it was easier to transport them as separate components, etc. I didn’t have a lot of help because my family and girls came out halfway through the week. And some things you just have to do yourself anyways (eg. vendor meetings)!
So, to summarize? I wish I’d done more beforehand at home and hadn’t thought I’d have all the freaking time in the world the week before. But the day turned out great!!!
(Also, we hired a day-of-coordinator, which was one of the best wedding-related decisions ever.)

9/10/10 @ 2:16 am (reply)

17.

Guest

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Ruvarashe (message) 3 posts, Wannabee

I totally understand… We are having our wedding back home in Zimbabwe, I currently live in Atlanta and he lives in NYC. Fun stuff… At least you get to make planning trips. I will be heading to Zimbabwe 2 weeks before the wedding and hopefully my vision will be awaiting me or else those are going to be some crazy 2 weeks. lol. I am trying not to stress… at the end of the day all I look forward to is everyone having so much fun on the day and spending the rest of our lives together. You seem to be going great.

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19.

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