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The length of an engagement is a very interesting concept to me. It varies so much by couple, and it’s such an individual choice. We talked about our wedding date (well, roughly…more like our wedding season) before we even got engaged. Once I had Spring of 2011 stuck in my head, it didn’t matter when we got engaged. I have a friend who had similar thoughts, though her thinking landed her with a very different engagement length. She and her now-fiance planned to get married in August of 2010. They made this decision well before August, but when the proposal didn’t come until April, they ended up with only a 4-month engagement.
Now, I would not have been able to handle a 4-month engagement. She, on the other hand, can’t imagine having an engagement as long as ours. Having a long engagement has had several advantages for us. First of all, we’re on a pretty tight budget. The fact that we’ve had plenty of time to shop around and find the best deals has definitely been helpful. Also, it’s allowed us to focus more on everything else that’s going on in our lives right now (not much really, just graduating, taking the bar/boards, and starting our careers). We still have plenty of time for wedding planning, without forcing everything else to be put on the back burner.
I have noticed, though, that an engagement longer than a year seems to invite a lot of comments from the peanut gallery. I’ve heard all sorts of advice and suggestions regarding our engagement length and frankly, I just don’t see why it’s such a source of criticism. The comment that caught me the most by surprise was, “Aren’t you afraid people will forget about it by then?” Maybe it’s just me, but I’m not so selfish that I need people to be CONSTANTLY thinking about our wedding up until the big day. No, they’re not going to forget about it; it just won’t be on their minds the entire time, which I think is perfectly appropriate. Conversely, I’m sure my friend with the 4-month engagement hears her own fair share of criticism. You can’t please everyone. The sooner we brides accept that, the sooner our planning process becomes much easier.
The best part of a 20-month engagement? The pre-anniversary. Hey, I’ll take any excuse for a celebration. Give me a reason and I’ll make a holiday out of it! April 2, 2010 was an absolutely gorgeous day in Atlanta. If that day is half as beautiful in 2011 as it was in 2010, I’ll be thrilled. We took Lion Corgi for an extra long walk as we gazed upon just-budding trees and smelled the new spring air. We made a delicious dinner, followed by a big night in featuring some Netflix and some baking:
Personal photo: CUPCAKES!
We talked about how much we were looking forward to our wedding day, and we joked (in our usual corny manner) about, “Hey what are you doing this time next year? Wanna meet for lunch with some friends?”
Engagement length is a personal decision, and I think everyone chooses what works for them. For us, dragging out something this fun seemed like a good choice. How about you?
We were engaged for 19 months, and although I honestly wasn’t a fan of the long engagement, it worked for us. We took our time looking for a venue, we had our pick of vendors, and we were able to save a lot of money. We had our share of comments too, but those were all from people who didn’t know us well, so I just ignored them.
Love it, we had a nice little date night on our pre-anniversary! There are times were I wished our engagement was shorter than 25 months, but I’m so glad we were able to have the time to save for everything that we wanted.
When all is said and done, ours will be 28 months. I’m not a fan at all. But it sounds like you guys came to the decision on your own, whereas ours is being forced on us by parental units who say they wont even show up unless it’s a certain date. I think as long as it’s a personal decision between the couple, its absolutely fine.
Ours will be 11 months, and I already think that was long enough- I can’t imagine having a several year-long engagement As much fun as weddings are, I’m really ready for it to be over with so I can move on with my life, and as long and you are “engaged” it really feels like you’re stuck in limbo. Considering how 95% of my planning has/will be done in the last 3 months (with 80% that in the last 30 days!) , I really wish we only had like a 6 month engagement, but I really wanted to get married in the fall.
originally we said we didnt want to be engaged for more than a year but when the proposal came in may and we didnt have the money to have a summer 2011 wedding, we decided to push it back to fall 2011. So we will end up with a 17 month engagement. However, I ended up planning the entire wedding in about 3 months (i was organized and on top of things) so now I can relax for the next 13 months and take my time on our DIY projects. I am really happy with the length of it!
Our engagement will be 19 months. It’s weird though.. the time is flying by!
Ours is 10 months, which was perfect for us. We didn’t really plan anything ahead of time, it just worked out that way. But even I get comments now and then. And a few people actually asked me if I was pregnant. We got engaged on New Year’s Eve. Our wedding is 10/23. That would be the longest pregnancy ever. People are just dumb sometimes.
We also had our wedding season picked out before we were engaged. Neither of us wanted to be engaged until I had completed my masters degree and moved across the country to be with him, and that was happening in May 2009. I wanted to get married in the summer and no way I was planning a wedding in just 2-3 months, so I knew way, way, way in advance that we’d be looking at summer of 2010 for our wedding.
I never had to badger my husband to propose, but the closest I came was a couple of times I said something like “When you plan when you’re going to propose, please keep in mind that we’ll need something like a year to plan the wedding!” … In other words, try to get it taken care of before the end of the summer 2009!
We also enjoyed celebrating our -1-iversary; yours sounds like a lot of fun.
FH and I have just begun a 20 month long engagement. Sometimes I feel frustrated about it since it feels so far away but the length has been mostly my decision. I’m in my last year of nursing school and graduating in May. I know my FH wants a summer wedding and I absolutely cannot fathom graduating, studying for nursing boards and getting married all at the same time. I also feel strongly about having a job when we get married, so I need time to do that as well. Ultimately, we decided on June 21st, 2012 - the longest day of the year. I feel like my FH has brought so much light into my life that it really fits us. I love the idea of celebrating a pre-anniversary too. Thanks for the suggestion!
26 months here, and I feel the same way you do- it’s helped us focus on other stuff, not all wedding all the time. Those cupcakes look gooood!!
First of all, GO GATORS! lol.
Ours was just under 4 months! I know it sounds crazy, but it’s not so bad when planning a small wedding (we had 49 guests total). It made me stick to my decisions. The only decision I changed multiple times was my theme color. It would have been nice to enjoy our engagement a little longer, but the best time for us to marry was during this past summer…..[sigh] if only he would have proposed sooner. He waited several months after he spoke with my father…..men!
mmm cupcakes! We will have been engaged for 11 months before our date, but we were “pre-engaged” well before that. I think the advantages of a long engagement are many, but I have to admit it is frustrating when you get comments like “oh. Well that’s a long way away. Guess u dont need to plan until a couple months before.” Gah!
hehe now that it is under four months till the day though the comments have changed. Now I get: “less than four months! you dont have enough time!”
13 months here. at first it seemed like a really long time and i wanted to get married sooner especially after attending FH friends wedding but to think back that weve been engaged for over 4 months already it has seemed like time flew. and when i used to “complain” that a year was so far away people would always say “itll go by much faster than you think” and it really does.
but i too am glad that it is as long because we are paying for everything ourselves. no help, no credit. all cash. so it gives us time to save and also gives me time to plan and such (im a big DIY person and id rather buy stuff on sale!)
but to sum it all up like others said, i dont think anyone should be giving you criticism or what not for your date selection. its YOUR date not theirs and you picked what YOU wanted based on what would be best for YOU
yesterday was our pre anniversary couldnt have been nicer! we went out for a nice dinner and had a blast! it it so wonderful to have a long engagement. ours is only a little over a year but we are going through all 4 seasons like my mom wanted and i have found its easier to shop with coupons every week because i know i will have lots of coupons to use and can shop for the best prices. we didnt even set up a budget for the wedding because i know we will be way under. we found a nice inexpensive venue that has everything we want and it gives us plenty of time to pay it off.
By the time our wedding rolls around in October 2011 we will have been engaged for 16 months. I have gotten my fair share of comments about it but honestly, I dont think I would have wanted a shorter engagement, mainly because I LOVE being engaged. Of course I can’t wait to marry my FI but he’s not going anywhere. We don’t need to tie the knot tomorrow.
I want to be able to do things at our own pace and shop around. I didnt want to have to commit every weekend until the big day to doing something wedding related. This way we can take our time and not to mention SAVE SAVE SAVE. We are paying for about half of the wedding ourselves and we really didn’t want our everyday lives to change because of this. We didn’t want to have to live paycheck to paycheck because we had to pay for a wedding in 6 months. Being that were still more than a year out, we’re able to save a decent amount each week and have more than enough come wedding time.
22 months. But it’s just right for us. FI is long distance living in a different city until a couple months before the wedding. We’ve been together since 2004. It’s important that after we’re married, we in the same city. We thought about Oct 2010 instead of Oct 2011, and I’m so happy we waited. Allows lots of time to save and plan 
Ours will be 3 years and 1 month, LOL. I am in graduate school, and he works a lot. We are taking our time we actually already booked our venue and have been able to get some great deals on venders for waiting so long. Everyone freaks out when we say we are waiting so long but it was just the right choice for us.
we have a 20 month engagement also - perfect for us. And now that we are down to less than 2 months I can tell you, it has flown by!! We had a great pre-anniversary also, went to the restaurant where we had our first date
That’s so sweet! Our engagement will end up being 16 months long, and while it’s definitely long, I’m glad we chose to do it this way! I can’t believe we’re already down to only 4 months left!
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Mrs. Lioness, Atlanta Age and Occupation: 25, Physical Therapist Fiance's Age and Occupation: 25, Attorney Engagement Date: August 29, 2009 Wedding Date: April 2011 Venue: Anthony’s Fine Dining About Me: I’m a Southern girl with New England roots. I say "wicked" and "y’all" in the same sentence and I like to drink sweet tea with my lobster. Mr. Lion and I are both former Floridians now living in Atlanta, which fortunately is still SEC country...Go Gators! We both love baseball, coffee, traveling, cooking, and playing Words with Friends with each other on our iPhones all day long. I’m very passionate about the things and the people I love, and I tend to plan things with all of my heart...our wedding, of course, is no different! Oh, and also Mr. Lion is a first generation American of Cuban descent. I may look more like Lucy than Ricky, but I’m doing my best to incorporate some Latin elements into our vintage-garden-Southern wedding!
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