Will Your Wedding Be Legal?

Will Your Wedding Be Legal?

September 14th, 2010 @ 11:00 am by Mrs. Meerkat
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A little while after we decided to have our wedding in Mexico I was asked if our wedding would be legal back in the United States. I was speechless.

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I had no idea, and truthfully it never crossed my mind that it might not be. So, I went into superwoman (aka panicky bride) research mode. Here is what I discovered:

Basically, a wedding in Mexico would be legally recognized here in the States, but there are some nuances.

We would need to have a blood test in Mexico, our birth certificates would need to be translated into Spanish and we would have to be in the country three days before the ceremony. When we return home we would be unable to register our marriage license back here in Michigan. So, while it would be legal, no one would ever be able to look up our marriage status or get a copy of the license. Also, the only type of ceremony that is recognized as legal in Mexico is a civil ceremony (which has no room for customization) officiated by an officer of the Registro Civil.

I wanted to throw a “I’m the bride and I want it my way right now” tantrum!

But then again, who says you have to have the legal stuff done where your wedding is taking place? I started researching what it would take to make it legal in Michigan before we left. I found out that you can have a judge do the legal part without even having a ceremony ($10 + license). Each state is different, but in short, you just have to tell the judge you both agree to be married, come of your own free will, and sign the marriage license.

Since we wanted to have a custom ceremony in Mexico and didn’t want to deal with any of the other stuff, we decided to do the legal paperwork back in the States. We don’t actually plan on publicizing the fact that we did the legal paperwork back home. (Hmmm…that might work better if I didn’t write about it on a public blog. Oh well.) As far as we are concerned, we won’t see ourselves as married until the day of the ceremony in Mexico.

Anyone else getting married before their wedding reception? Why?

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23 Responses to “Will Your Wedding Be Legal?”

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Bee

Miss Ostrich (message) 1,948 posts, Buzzing bee

i applaud your decision to get everything taken care of before your destination day. the fiance & i also always knew we wanted a wedding in paradise and also considered mexico. but when i discovered the same info you just spoke of, i just threw my hands up in the air and opted for the sparkling seas of hawaii instead

9/14/10 @ 11:19 am (reply)

Bee

Mrs. Nachos (message) 1,733 posts, Bumble bee

I mentioned going that route in the beginning just to make it easier, but in the end Mr. N won out and we jumped through the hoops we needed to in order to be married away from home. We chose St. Thomas because it’s US territory and there were no residency restrictions - which just seemed much less scary to me!

9/14/10 @ 11:20 am (reply)

Member

raevnn (message) 164 posts, Blushing bee

Actually yes - my fiancee and I are planning the same sort of thing! Married in a courthouse days/weeks ahead of time (lets me get a jumpstart of name changing too)- that way we have have our own, non-religious, say whatever we want ceremony with our best friend officiating. We also view it as “just paperwork” and will consider our ceremony in front of friends and family to be the “real wedding”.

9/14/10 @ 11:22 am (reply)

Member

Encore (message) 680 posts, Busy bee

This is kind of crazy. I know I got married in St. Lucia once and there was no extra work to be done to have it recognized here in the states. We came back with our marriage certificate and it was the same as if we had been married in our own back yard. It never vene occurred to me that it would ever be otherwise! Yikes!

9/14/10 @ 11:23 am (reply)

Bee

Miss Glasses (message) 2,741 posts, Sugar bee

But then again, who says you have to have the legal stuff done where your wedding is taking place?

Word up, that is me too. We’ve already been married for over 6 months! Sure does make things easier!

9/14/10 @ 11:25 am (reply)

Guest

SafariBride

We’re getting married in South Africa. The wedding itself will be recognized, with really no hoops, but we have to have somebody local. So, we are having the ceremony on the 31st and not getting the legal stuff done until the 1st. This means our friend can perform the ceremony and we can be married in 2011 for legal reasons. Our families, are surprisingly ok with this.

9/14/10 @ 11:31 am (reply)

Bee

Miss Meerkat (message) 3,216 posts, Sugar bee

@Mrs. Nachos: I was pretty sad about not getting the legal stuff done down there until Mr. M. pointed out the fact that our licence would be in Spanish and we wouldn’t even be able to read it. After that I was on board with doing the paperwork here.

@SafariBride: It crazy how different the laws are depending on which country you choose. I’m happy that you don’t have to jump through the hoops we are. =)

9/14/10 @ 11:46 am (reply)

Member

alphajuliet (message) 183 posts, Blushing bee

There were inital legal issues when we were first engaged to so we struggled with the “will it be legal when we think it is legal” and I came to the feeling that if we had to do a seperate legal ceremony I would rather have it after the fact. Here is my reasoning. I agree that the ceremony would be where you recognize your marriage… and if we did the court marriage before then the ceremony wouldn’t be as meaningful feeling to me because the nerves etc wouldn’t be there. I would maybe suggest going and getting the justice of the peace thing the day after you get back to give you that nervous crazy feeling the day you walk down the asile instead of “well we are already legally married so… this is all a fun party”

9/14/10 @ 12:14 pm (reply)

Bee

Miss Meerkat (message) 3,216 posts, Sugar bee

@alphajuliet: I never thought of it like that! I will have to bring it up to Mr. M. tonight. Would make it a lot easier too because we won’t be rushed for time after we return.

9/14/10 @ 12:19 pm (reply)

10.

Member

SerenaSF (message) 661 posts, Busy bee

We are getting married in San Miguel de Allende in Mexico so we will be doing the exact same thing as you. I will not consider us married until the actual ceremony in Mexico, but it will still be an excuse for another day to celebrate!

9/14/10 @ 12:28 pm (reply)

11.

Member

pamphilia (message) 92 posts, Worker bee

We are also doing a legal marriage before we go to Punta Cana. It just seemed to be the most sensical route for us. We are definitely NOT publicizing it (only my sister knows) as we don’t want people to think that they have been conned into spending loads of money to come join us, when we have already tied the knot.

9/14/10 @ 12:30 pm (reply)

12.

Bee

Miss Meerkat (message) 3,216 posts, Sugar bee

@pamphilia: That was exactly what I worried about too. I am really liking alphajuliet idea about doing it after we get back. That way no one feels like they got scammed.

9/14/10 @ 12:45 pm (reply)

13.

Bee

Miss Meerkat (message) 3,216 posts, Sugar bee

@SerenaSF: So what you are saying is Mr. M. will owe me two anniversary presents next December? Oh I like this plan! hehe =)

9/14/10 @ 12:46 pm (reply)

14.

Guest

LaneyLane

The title of your post took me in a whole different direction…No, our wedding won’t be legal. We are getting married in the US, by a minister but we are a lesbian couple.

9/14/10 @ 12:47 pm (reply)

15.

Bee

Miss Sand Dollar (message) 1,305 posts, Bumble bee

Good call, tying up all the loose ends. Mr. SD and I did the same thing, and tried to keep it under wraps. We told my parents, and our roommate, as it was kind of obvious. The only problem is, I hated being downgraded to the “fiance” in conversation! Maybe our problem was going to the courthouse four months in advance. I’d advise you to wait as long as possible, because after you legalize it you’ll want to get down to all the married fun!

9/14/10 @ 1:15 pm (reply)

16.

Member

alphajuliet (message) 183 posts, Blushing bee

Yea especially if you will be rushed Meerkat I say just drop in to the couthouse when you get back… at that point it will be about as fascinating as changing your name… you will already go by Mrs… it is all just formality. I feel like for the weddings that I have been to and I know they got married before (for insurance, green card etc) I think there was less excitement there for them.

9/14/10 @ 1:17 pm (reply)

17.

Bee

Mrs. Lovebird (message) 1,002 posts, Bumble bee

We were obviously in the same boat and just went to the courthouse a few days before heading down to Mexico! Good call!

9/14/10 @ 2:46 pm (reply)

18.

Bee

Miss Meerkat (message) 3,216 posts, Sugar bee

@Mrs. Lovebird: Glad to hear of someone else doing the same thing. You sound like you are happy you made the decision. =)

9/14/10 @ 2:48 pm (reply)

19.

Member

LittlestBirds (message) 2,605 posts, Sugar bee

I think this is becoming fairly common for a wide variety of reasons. Go ahead and get the legal stuff out of the way, you still know when your *real* wedding is.

9/14/10 @ 3:21 pm (reply)

20.

Bee

Mrs. Frozen Yogurt (message) 2,685 posts, Sugar bee

So smart, it would be terrible to find out something you didn’t know about and then not have it be legally recognized. I think it’s a great reason to do it ahead of time.

9/14/10 @ 3:26 pm (reply)

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