Weddingbee Blog

I promised that I’d tell you about our crazy trip home, but I also realized that I forgot to share with you all the beautiful condo we stayed in. It was located in Princeville, the suburb on the north shore of Kaua’i. It definitely lived up to the pictures we saw online. It was a wonderful, peaceful place, and we could hear the ocean.

The bedroom, at sunset

The bed/bathroom, mid-day

The ocean, from the window

This is how I looked for much of our vacation. You can barely see the dining room/living room behind me.

Mr. Oyster and I prefer to rent condos as opposed to hotels when we travel. They tend to be located in residential neighborhoods, so if we’re traveling somewhere we have the benefit of getting to meet more local residents; shop in local grocery stores, take public transit, that sort of thing. Also, renting a condo is often cheaper than a hotel, and you get more for your money (they usually have a full kitchen, for example).

One drawback is that there is usually no maid service, but that’s okay…I live without maid service every day of the year! I don’t mind sweeping a bit. Especially since this means there will be fewer people running around with the key to your room (and access to your stuff).

The other obvious drawback is that you can’t always guarantee that your condo will be perfect or that your renter won’t be less-than-scrupulous. I usually do a ton of research on vacation rentals, and try to go through a reputable site. We found this one through TripAdvisor’s new service, Flipkey. I have found others through VRBO.com.

So on the last night in our lovely condo, we were feeling kind of sad, completely rested, and almost ready to come home and show our photos of the trip to all our friends and family. But I found a mysterious rash. I had a series of things on my back that looked like bug bites and itched. As we went to sleep, I wondered what they were, but Mr. Oyster suggested they were bugs, and we fell asleep.

But I couldn’t sleep. I pulled out my little iPad and Googled my way to near-hysteria: it seems that someone from our lovely condo wrote an internet post a while back about an unwanted souvenir they’d brought home—bedbugs!

Oh, crap.

If any of you have dealt with bedbugs (I haven’t, but oh, have I heard about them) you’ll understand the fear at this realization (if you don’t, a look around here will tell you what you’re in for). Mr. Oyster, realizing I hadn’t slept, woke up to ask what was wrong. We spent the rest of the night trying not to panic, wondering if they were actually in our condo (we looked, but couldn’t find any evidence), and making a plan.

The last few hours in our condo, we made multiple trips to the local grocery store and laundromat, trying to launder clothes to wear on the plane, and packing nearly everything we owned in plastic bags. It was a stressful nightmare. When we’d done all we could, we finally left.

The worst part was that we still had nearly 10 hours to kill until our red-eye flight. We drove around Kauai and went to the top of the beautiful and breathtaking Waimea Canyon. It certainly gave our rental car a workout!

It was windy up there.

Finally, it was time to go to the airport. Upon arriving, we found that our flight had been delayed—by four hours. Four! This meant that we would almost certainly miss our connection in LAX. I didn’t think we’d ever get home. I had a suitcase full of plastic bags, I was itchy, and I hadn’t slept in nearly 36 hours. I burst into tears.

The tiny Kaua’i airport only has 10 gates, and I’m sure delays happen all the time. Luckily, the airport’s weekly concert series helped pass the time for us and the hundreds of passengers also delayed.

These guys were very good. They played our last-dance song (”White Sandy Beach”) and many other favorites. They also played a version of “Hawaiian Wedding Song” for a couple celebrating their 50th anniversary. I didn’t get to hear it; I was on the phone with India getting us re-booked on another flight. Mr. Oyster said it was a very nice performance, though.

We eventually arrived in LAX, one minute late for our connecting flight. That’s right, one minute. I know it was one minute, because when we ran to the gate, they’d just closed the doors. The woman at the counter ignored us, then laughed in our faces when we asked if she could open it. Such unnecessary meanness really seems par for the course with this airline, who already canceled and re-routed our flight three times since we purchased it in February, canceled our upgraded seats with no refund, and more.

The next flight to Dallas wasn’t for six more hours, during which we saw several gate agents opening the doors for harried people who’d barely made their connections. We never saw “laughing woman” again.

Fail.

By now, it’d been a day and a half since we left our condo, and for me, more than two days without sleep. This is when I started to lose it.

from MarthaStewardess

Mr. Oyster and I were holding up the walls as we staggered through the airport trying to find food and buying blankets. We could barely stand. Our suitcases were oddly puffy. Passengers were staring at us. I started thinking this was hilariously funny. I called us the “Airport Zombies.” I started making terrible jokes that I found incredibly funny. This was Mr. Oyster’s favorite:

“What did the airport zombie say to the TSA agent?”

“What?”

“I’ll show you a liquid!”

Followed by near-hysterical giggling from me and a nervous, but amused, look from Mr. Oyster.

We finally got home, two days after we left and without any sense of time or space. Not only that, but we it took us another day to deal with our possibly bedbug-infested clothes.

Oh, and those bedbugs? I emailed the condo owner upon our return home; she was shocked to hear from me. The guy who’d posted on the Internet signed with his real name, so she tracked him down. He never had bedbugs—he found later that he had a skin disease. He just never updated the web posting. I guess we were lucky this time, but if these bugs keep spreading like everyone says they are, it will be good to take precautions on future trips.

Surely, we won’t be the only honeymooners to encounter this. If you find yourself in an infested hotel, here’s what to do.

As for the rash, it turned out to be my first-ever sun rash, accompanied by my first-ever sunburn. Don’t forget your sunscreen, no matter how dark you already are!

To be quite honest, it has taken me about a month to be able to look back on our honeymoon without it being overshadowed by the craziness in the last two days of our trip. And I’m still upset at United Airlines. I hope I never have to deal with them again.

But eventually, I was able to get some perspective. We had a beautiful trip, a wonderful time for us to react to all the chaos of our wedding, and lots of incredible sunsets and sandy beaches. I would love to visit Hawaii again, but I think this time we’ll (a) bring plastic bags and (b) spring for a direct flight.

I kept wondering the whole time if I’d get to see a rainbow in Hawaii! I finally did, toward the end of our trip.