Weddingbee Blog

OK, I’m done with my wah wah wahs! Registering is f-u-n! Zeb and I have been incredibly busy recently, and this random Monday evening was one of our first alone together in a long time. I was riding a wave of euphoria because he didn’t give me too much trouble about going on this wedding-related task. I think he knew a scanner gun was in his future. We had a very helpful salesperson, Sarah; we’ll call her Pregnant Sarah. Pregnant Sarah told us that they go to demonstrations routinely to learn about the products they sell. She was full of helpful hints as to what to register for. For instance, she showed us the knife sets and told us we wanted to make sure the hilt extended from the handle throughout the blade.

I cannot tell you a lie—at first, it was overwhelming. I kept reminding myself, though, that I could edit the shit out of the list online, which of course took me about a week. They took us to the back to register our registration in the “fine gift” department. I couldn’t keep my eyes off of all the beautiful china patterns—oooooh, shiny! Everyone in the store asked us when the wedding was and where our honeymoon will be. Some even asked us twice about the honeymoon; methinks I smell a store policy! Anywho, during the registration I asked about Fiesta Plates because I wasn’t in love with anything patterned, and we also wanted something that matches the plates we already own and love.

Zeb and I started in the bathroom section, moseyed on over to the bedding section, and found ourselves “just looking” in the fine gift department. Then the next Sara approached us, unsolicited. We shall refer to her as Pushy Sara. You get where I’m going with this, right? Basically she told me that I was looking at really bright things and that I’m not going to like that for very long. She then walked us over to this pattern and told us that she recommends this to all the couples because you can dress it up with a black tablecloth. Whoa whoa whoa, not all kitchen tables are created equal, my dear Pushy Sara. By the way, that everyday china pattern is not my cup of tea, and I’m going to venture a guess here: I will never enjoy that pattern for our household. Furthermore, my mother has been serving dinner on Fiesta plates for as long as I can remember, and I love them. I also love her china pattern, which was purchased mostly by my Aunt Millie. If I need some fancy-pants china, I’ll hike on over to her place and borrow it.

We finally got out of the grips of Pushy Sara, exchanged a good eye roll and exasperated “whew,” thanked the phone for ringing, and continued our scanning. I also heard a few scans behind my back. Hmmm? What is he doing? This is where things begin to get a little dicey–a folly, if you will. You see, Zeb and I have hosted a party or two in our day. Not dinner parties, but rather casual get-togethers with good friends. I started scanning the white serving sets, not because I enjoyed them but because it was really the only serving sets they had that were not located in Pushy Sara’s den. We finished and called over Pregnant Sara to finish us off and said our farewell to the scan gun. But then I saw it. The most precious serving set you ever did see. The kind of serving set that would break the kids and not the other way around. I loved it. I fell in love! Zeb became excited because of the gleam in my eye and told me to go register for it…and then I saw the price. EEK! That’s a ton of money, I told him. We muddled over our choices. Get the cheap ugly crap, or get called a selfish whore. I’m joking! Zeb loved the set, too, and convinced me to register for it. The worst that can happen is no one buys it for us. SOLD! Well, REGISTERED!

Remember, ladies, you can always change it online, no matter how important it is that your grandchildren see you using the gifts you registered for 30 years before.

So, what did Zeb scan into our registry, unbeknownst to me?

Source

Boys will be boys.