Weddingbee Blog

Mr. Starfish and I talked about everything and anything when we met. We had long involved conversations over AIM. I actually saved most of the ones early in our relationship and there is one specific one that I’ve been thinking about a lot lately.

In one of our early conversations, we somehow brought up the subject of marriage and weddings. We started by talking about what we thought our futures would look like, and somehow in these conversations of the future, we talked about our “dream weddings.” Mr. Starfish said he wanted to get married in shorts and a Hawaiian shirt on the beach. Then, I described my dream wedding. I said I wanted to get married in Ochre Court (Salve’s chapel), in my prom dress (a story for another day), with a Cinderella vibe, and I wanted “an awesome DJ.” I envisioned my bridesmaids in black cocktail dresses, guys in black tuxes, guests dressed in black tie, candlelight—a really elegant affair.

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Mr. Starfish said he would go with that for the right kind of girl. And I said, “without the Hawaiian shirt?” He said yes.

Fast-forward about seven years and here we are planning “our” dream wedding. Not my elegant affair, nor Mr. Starfish’s Hawaiian shirt clad shindig. Instead, we’ve found ways to make it “us.” I’ve always wanted that upscale black and white wedding, but as soon as we got engaged, I knew it wasn’t right. Instead, we’ve opted for a more casual feel that focuses on location and sharing our story with friends and family.

Every detail represents who we are as a couple. The location of all of the festivities is the same location we met and fell in love. The church is the same place we volunteered the first year we started dating. The reception is located on the same street where we had our first apartment, overlooking our alma mater. Location choices have been really important to us.

We even were able to find some compromises along the way. Mr. Starfish didn’t want a tux, while I wasn’t into the Hawaiian shirt, so we came up with a compromise that left us both happy: casual for him, but nice enough where I can still pull off a nice wedding gown. Instead of black cocktail dresses and Hawaiian shirts for the wedding party, everyone will be dressed in our favorite color—navy blue. We may not be getting married in Ochre Court or on the beach, but we are including each location in our photos.

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We chose the nautical theme because we both love the ocean and it lends a more casual vibe. We’re even going to provide flip flops for guests, hoping they’ll spend more time on the dance floor or head out to the beach to enjoy the view.

Our wedding is far from either of our original visions, but it really is “us.”

Is your wedding what you always dreamt, or did you have to adjust your original vision to make it about you as a couple?