The B Word

The B Word

September 29th, 2010 @ 5:14 pm by Mrs. Elephant
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One of the most dreaded words in wedding planning is probably “budget.” Just think of all the amazing things you could have if there were no budget involved!

The B Word : wedding budget dallas Elephant elephant

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The number one reason for our 25-month engagement was the budget. Mr. E and I (maybe a little more me than Mr. E) had some ideas of what we wanted in our big day, and with our guest list closer to 150, there was no way that we could afford it in one year.

I’m not gonna lie; after the newness of getting engaged wore off, I was stressed beyond belief with the cost of a wedding. Mr. E was amazing: he sat me down with an Excel spreadsheet, which helped to show me that we could afford the wedding we wanted if we just took an extra year to save. We both agreed from the get-go that there was no reason to be left with wedding debt after the big day.

The budget breakdown is almost 50/50 between my parents on the one hand and Mr. E and me on the other, with some potential help from his parents for the rehearsal dinner. By the time it’s said and done, we’ll probably end up a little over the average for our area.

I do sometimes think of all the things we could do with that money (pay off student loans, put a nice down payment on a house), but in the end I know that this day is going to be something we will never forget. We’re putting in a little bit every month. It doesn’t seem like a huge amount, but it definitely adds up, which is great! (Added bonus: tax returns and annual work bonuses.)

I feel that we have done so much more research when it comes to vendors and determining what is and isn’t important to us because it is our hard-earned money that we’re spending. That includes many a night spent Googling vendors on my laptop.

I am so very fortunate to be able to have so much financial support from Mom and Dad Elephant because I know that it’s not that way for everyone. The amazing part about my parents’ financial help is that it doesn’t come with an “It’s my money, so I have a say in how you spend it” type thing. We discuss all of the vendors with my parents (with Mama Elephant going to vendor meetings with me), but in the end they are happy with whomever we choose. Love you, Mom and Dad!!

The B Word : wedding budget dallas Dsc0326

Dad & Mom Elephant and me & and Mr. E on our cruise in 2009

Did you help pay for your wedding? Did spending your own money make you think long and hard about what you were spending it on?

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18 Responses to “The B Word”

Member

BeadFloraJewels (message) 80 posts, Worker bee

I’m money conscious no matter whose money I’m spending. My parents did help pay for the reception dinner. Yay for parents!

xoxo,
Fen

9/29/10 @ 5:20 pm (reply)

Bee

Miss Ostrich (message) 1,948 posts, Buzzing bee

i’m part of team “budget bride” too! my parents are springing for our 200+ at home reception at a little family winery, so that leaves it up to the ostrich duo to pay for our little beach wedding. and for this reason, we decided to keep it little. we’re aiming for about 50-70 people tops. thank goodness i’m a crafy gal!

9/29/10 @ 5:27 pm (reply)

Member

Panda Pez (message) 306 posts, Helper bee

Future Mr. & I are paying for our 100 guest wedding all by ourselves. I’ve lost track of how many breakdowns I’ve had stressing over money. In the beginning, I couldn’t help but get angry & jealous over all the other brides/grooms who are counting on their families for financial assistance. It didn’t seem fair. I quickly realized that that state of mind was not going to get me anywhere, and so I moved on. We’ve been crunching numbers ever since, and I’ve been cranking out DIYs. The financial stress has been overwhelming at times, but it’s bringing us closer than ever. Sure, I want to puke at the thought of all the money we’re forking out for this ONE day - but it’s totally worth it. My only heartache is the fact that as of now we don’t a honeymoon. But I have faith that we’ll have one eventually…life is full of surprises.

9/29/10 @ 6:03 pm (reply)

Member

future.mrs.v (message) 358 posts, Helper bee

the mister and i are footing the bill for the whole shebang. or at least that’s how we’ve planned it all out and that’s how we’re spending money. thankfully, there have been a few family members that are paying for certain things as their gifts to us (his uncle is paying for all the reception centerpieces (score!), my aunt is paying for our cake, two of his uncles and his parents have deposited money into our wedding account, his aunt is paying for our limo). we are accepting all of those as added bonuses though, and trying not to overspend just because we’re getting help elsewhere. our goal is to not go into debt over this one day (and if we can end with a little money in our pockets afterward, then mega-score!), so we’ve been saving for the last 20 months! much like ya’ll, we agreed on a long engagement (23 months total) too to be able to save for our dream wedding and still live comfortably.

9/29/10 @ 6:18 pm (reply)

Member

future.mrs.v (message) 358 posts, Helper bee

oh yeah, i’d also like to add that we never expected anybody to help out. so we’ve budgeted and spent on what the two of us can realistically afford. anything extra has been just that - extra.

9/29/10 @ 6:20 pm (reply)

Member

bRooklynRocks (message) 3,767 posts, Honey bee

I know this might come out somehow but here goes: It’s the biggest party I’d probably ever throw in my life. I have been busting my butt for over a decade scrimping and saving and paying A LOT on my school loans. I am going to pay for this day, come hell or high water. I will try and cut costs as much as I can. I shall not go into debt. I do get a bit sick when I think of how much we are going to spend for one day but…. on the other argh, let the good times roll

9/29/10 @ 6:22 pm (reply)

Member

Southern_Bride (message) 35 posts, Newbee

We are planning as if we are paying for it ourselves, but I know his side of the family will help any way that they can and I know my mother will help to. But we are mostly planning like we are paying for it ourselves. I pushed it back to June 2012 just to save up. I realize I don’t need a $30k wedding. I am going to be doing DIY and having a small intimate afternoon ceremony/reception with a rocking after party later in the night.

9/29/10 @ 6:24 pm (reply)

Guest

mama E

Miss E it may sound corny but over 33 years ago I stood where you are and many of the sweet bees who have commented are very wise. This is the Biggest party you will ever throw, and you all agree you don’t want to start in debt. You have done an awesome job of saving, selecting and spending.It is Papa E ’s and my pleasure to support you and Mr. E any way we can. You have maximized your credits with us through your thoughtful scanning of vendors getting the best bang for your $$$ and blowing me away with your diy ability.. You go girl and while we wish we had Donald Trump’s money to do this we are here to support you in any way we can… love ya mama E

9/29/10 @ 8:27 pm (reply)

Bee

Miss Elephant (message) 6,182 posts, Bee Keeper

It’s so good to hear that I’m not alone in the money stress or the longer engagement. We know there is no way we would get to have all of our nearest and dearest with us except for a wedding and we want to make sure that we enjoy ourselves and everyone with us.

@mama E: Don’t make me cry! We love you so much and are so lucky to have the help from you and Papa E’s.

9/29/10 @ 8:42 pm (reply)

10.

Bee

Miss Hippo (message) 1,008 posts, Bumble bee

King Hippo and I are paying for about 2/3 of the wedding… and when it’s your own money, it’s totally different! I really THINK about every dime I’m putting into this and trying to figure out what elements of the wedding are worth it, and which aren’t!

9/29/10 @ 8:54 pm (reply)

11.

Bee

Miss Hippo (message) 1,008 posts, Bumble bee

@mama E: Awwww… Mama E, you’re awesome!!!

9/29/10 @ 8:55 pm (reply)

12.

Member

BunnyBunz (message) 173 posts, Blushing bee

This has been my biggest stress too. I try to think of ways to cut the budget and them I tell myself it is ok to spend the money to have the day you will remember forever. Now I’m left deciding if we should cut back the honeymoon, something I really don’t want to do but might be what we are left with.

9/30/10 @ 9:38 am (reply)

13.

Member

dovelovesfalcon (message) 151 posts, Blushing bee

mama E just made me a little teary-eyed!

9/30/10 @ 9:43 am (reply)

14.

Member

ktisthatbees (message) 2,742 posts, Sugar bee

So great that you have parents that don’t follow the “it’s my money so I have control” philosophy. Supportive parents (or lack thereof) can really make or break the wedding experience! You guys will have a beautiful wedding no matter what the budget is.

9/30/10 @ 10:25 am (reply)

15.

Guest

nanigans

We are having to pay for the whole shebang ourselves… I agree with Panda Pez that its very hard to not get discouraged about it, especially since I have found 0 articles to date about budgets from the big guys (MSW and The Knot, I am looking at YOU!) that do not begin with ‘who pays for what’ or assume familial help.
I feel that either way its important to watch what you spend and get the biggest bang for your buck though. Just because Mom and Dad are giving you X it doesn’t mean it should flow easily either.

9/30/10 @ 2:31 pm (reply)

16.

Member

NotYourTypicalBride (message) 1,294 posts, Bumble bee

We’re pretty much paying for it ourselves (actually, I am paying because I’m the one with the savings), though my mom is kicking in for the dress and the liquor.

I stressed about the spend, too, especially as I realized that it would take twice the budget I originally estimated. And that’s with a whole lot of cost-cutting - reasonably priced dress ($600 or so), DIY flowers and invitiations, no video or expensive cake (we’re doing pies), relentless bargain-hunting.

In the end, we’ll spend the “average” to host a wedding for fewer than 100 of our most cherished family and friends, and we will stretch the celebration over three days in the Florida Keys (just a two-hour drive for us). For me, it’s all about the precious moments and lifelong memories we will create for ourselves and our guests, and it will be worth every penny!

10/1/10 @ 1:19 am (reply)

17.

Guest

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18.

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