Weddingbee Blog

…and the bartender asks, “Why the long engagement?” Wait, what?

Toot Toot

I promised to let you know why we decided to ride the wedding-planning pain train for 27 months. There were several reasons why we chose a wedding date several years in advance.

The following reasons hold equal merit as to why we have had such a freakin’ long-ass engagement.

• We wanted our Priest Friend (PF) to marry us.
• We had just bought a house.
• We were unsure of our finances.
• We were young.
• I was an unenthusiastic planner and wanted to give myself plenty of time so the wedding didn’t take over my life.

See how quickly things change? I’m a wedding blogger now…two years later. Unenthusiastic? HA! Often people ask us why we chose the long engagement, and we’ll look at them and say it is our “insurance policy.” Usually that will get a good laugh out of people closest to us and maybe an exasperated eye roll from those who don’t know us as well. It is much easier than explaining the above reasons one by one, which of course is what I am about to do for you.

In college, we often joked to PF about being the first couple he would marry. It was a running joke for a few years, but when we spoke with him he told us he would not become a deacon (able to marry couples) until June of 2011 at the earliest. He also didn’t seem comfortable with the idea of being a key part of our wedding day. He is scheduled to be ordained a priest in June of 2012 if everything goes as planned, but even Zeb and I knew that was too far in advance. We’re hoping he will be able to participate somewhat in our ceremony, but we need to discuss with our priest what he would be eligible for.

When we got engaged, we hadn’t even made our first mortgage payment. To say we were scared shitless of our finances would be a supreme understatement. I could waste half a paycheck at Marshalls each week. This saving concept was absolutely foreign to me. The long engagement gave us time to really enjoy our adjustment period in our house and an opportunity to learn how to save money.

Age has never been an issue with us. In fact, my maturity level seems stuck at 13-year-old boy. I knew in my heart of hearts that we had the same chance of making the marriage work at 18 as we do at 40. However, I was still in the finding-out-who-I-am period and knew that the acceptance-of-who-I-am stage was right around the corner. I didn’t want to enter a new stage of my life, learn how to live with someone, and get married all at once. I’m here to enjoy this ride called life, not rush it.

Ohhhh what a web I weave. Seriously, it is bad. I still have trouble calling him my fi— my fi— my betrothed. UGH, I HATE the F word. There, I said it. I still call Zeb my boyfriend and, occasionally, my husband, but never do I call him my F-word. I’ve previously mentioned that I was an unenthusiastic planner, and I fail to find the words to truly help you understand the depth of that statement. I’m going to leave it at this—I would have kicked my today’s self in the you-know-what if my yesterday’s self knew what I have become. I love it, however. Without my migration into bridalhood, I wouldn’t have had the opportunity to get to know the hive. I’m lucky I gave myself these 20-some-odd months to adjust because the wedding day would have looked much different if I hadn’t.

So there you have it—my excuses/reasons for having a long-ass engagement. Can I say I’ve enjoyed this ride? Yes and no. I would have loathed this process if I didn’t have the luxury of taking planning breaks to gather myself and focus on other aspects of our life and relationship. Would I have liked to already get this show on the road? You betcha! I had a mini crisis last March when all I could think about was how it could have been here already. However, as we quickly approach our date (six months—eek!), the anticipation has made it all the more sweet.