Weddingbee Blog

(guest photo)

Well… I’m back! We just got home from the honeymoon, and are both enjoying the gorgeous fall weather doing what we love. I’m playing on the internet on our back porch (planning on adding daiquiris into the mix later this evening!) and the mister is doing his best to take home Bambi’s daddy in the woods. He was so kind as to inform me that he planned the wedding date to be the weekend prior to opening season. So now every anniversary will be a sort of “last hurrah” before I lose him for hunting season. Isn’t he a such sweetie pie? Whatevs.

So while I wait on the pro pics (which are already online, and the disc has been sent in the mail—what great service from The Pros!) I thought I’d start with a few thoughts…about how absolutely horrible this whole wedding/honeymoon shebang turned out to be.

Most of the time, you hear the stories of fantastic wedding days: relaxing time with your girls getting pampered, sweet stolen moments with the groom, a ceremony so meaningful even crusty gramps tears up, and you dance the night away after great food and delicious cake. Well, girls, here’s where I rain on your parade.

My wedding day was miserable. It was a big fat wad of stress. I nearly tossed my cookies a number of times that day because I was just so overwhelmed. I heard my name called more times than in my collective days in school. “Brooke, how should we hang up the lanterns? Brooke, what should we do now? Brooke, when are we going to eat? Brooke, where should we get it? Brooke, what color are your shoelaces? Brooke, Brooke BROOKE!!!” Now don’t get me wrong. I was so blessed to have friends step up and bend over backwards for me to help set up. And I am so grateful for them. But if I had to hear my name one more time, I was gonna lose it.

So ladies, if any of you are waffling on a coordinator or planner? GET ONE, STAT! Your sanity will thank me later. I had a friend volunteer for the task, but unfortunately she didn’t show up until an hour before show time, so all the prep was left to me. The mister had to take care of all the running around tasks (picking up chairs, kegs, family, etc.) so I was left to order the troops around. By the time the six hours passed (which they did, VERY quickly) I was about to lose my mind. I was stressed that two of my bridesmaids were running really late (they showed up just in time to get ready), that we barely had enough time to finish decorating, that it absolutely poured on another half of town causing flooded streets and crazy humidity. The wind was blowing over all our decor (we ended up “gluing” the cans to the butcher paper with silicone) and that park guests were probably the rudest, stupidest, most annoying examples of humanity I’ve ever seen. They tramped all over the pavilion (which we paid to rent), asked me inane, irritating questions all day (”So, where did you buy all these lanterns? Oh, online? What website? What do you mean you don’t remember? How much were they? How many did you buy? How long did they take to ship?” LEAVE ME ALONE CRAZY LADY I’M TRYING TO SET UP FOR A WEDDING!) We asked parents and kids to leave multiple times only to have them blatantly ignore us, or tell us it was going to pour down rain and we’d all get soaked and have a horrible time. Well, gee, thanks random asshole, now get the hell outta my face!

So needless to say, I was stressed the entire day. Even while we were getting ready, after two glasses of wine, our home was a madhouse. We barely made it out on time, got pictures taken, and were shuffled down the aisle to get this show on the road. My planner friend had to scare the living daylights out of two peewee football kids literally about to dip their fingers in the groom’s cake. Maybe only half of the guests who RSVPed actually showed up. The pace was slow and low-key, not at all what I envisioned. Don’t get me wrong—for what it was, the wedding was spectacular. It just wasn’t what I was expecting, and I was disappointed the entire time. We had good music, but not really any dancing. A lot of people left early. It was, well, mellow. Very mellow. And I was hoping for something more along the lines of rockin’.

So where’s the silver lining? Though I didn’t enjoy myself all too much the day of, the pictures are phenomenal. Scott V. of The Pros is a local photographer, and owns RSVP Studios. If you are a Houston-area bride, CALL HIM! I cannot sing his praises enough. For under $1000, I got 8 hours of coverage, a disk of images (with full rights), and photos that are to die for. He is very, very talented. You’ll see in the recaps. Looking through his photos made me love my wedding day. He captured the essence of the party I wanted to throw, and set it in a positive light. Soon enough I’ll glaze over the stress-fest and remember all the good times. So my advice? Hire a planner (or DOC) and get yourself a great photographer who will make your wedding look fantastic no matter how awful things are behind the scenes.

As for the honeymoon, I’ll have a full rant up later, I’m sure. To sum it up, Carnival cruises majorly sucks. Due to their poor planning, we missed two ports and only landed in Cozumel for one day. So we got no excursions, and barely any time to enjoy ourselves. We spent six days on the water and only had one actual fun day. Oh, and did I mention the torrential rain, thunder, lightning, and 12-14 foot swells? Yeah, even the sober people walked like they were trashed for two straight days. It was misery. Do not take a Carnival cruise—you will sorely regret it. But hey, at least we got a lot of naps, snuggle times, and movie watching in. I’m so glad to be home, y’all. Now I’ll stop being such a party pooper!